Pineapples and burgers, no more orders from Kuya and no more recordings: What does 2010 hold for 12 stars? SPOT.ph consults the cosmos and the hit headlines of 2009.

Disclaimer: We at SPOT.ph are no experts on astrology and were never under the tutelage of Madame Auring or Professor Trelawney. We are, however, fans of pop culture, politics and satire.

Katrina Halili, sexy actress (born January 4, 1986), Capricorn – Your sign is known to be introverted and feminine. Learn to embrace both of those inner traits and maybe you’ll be able to save yourself from future scandal. In layman’s terms, stay away from young, taken cosmetic surgeons who only want to dance.

Vicki Belo, plastic surgeon of the stars (born January 25, 1956), Aquarius – Your customers will itch for more this year; treatments with honey almond, grape seed extract and fruit acids will seem so 2009. Why not try the powers of pineapple? We have a feeling your customers will love it to death.

Bianca Gonzales, TV host (born March 11, 1983), Pisces – Better career opportunities await you in 2010. The first step is to stop taking orders from an obscure manly voice in your head called “Kuya,” and go back to your roots. Intelligence can be better appreciated away from those tacky lines that you’re made to read in front of the camera.