Yes, watching Queer Eye for the Straight Guy helps.

BEST MAKEOVER: Jose "Joey" De Venecia III, who shed his grimy look and cleaned up relatively well

Cringe moment: That bit about "mga pamilyang nagkawatak-watak dahil sa kahirapan" is so forced. It sounds more like an excerpt from a Maalaala Mo Kaya letter.

What the spin doctors didn't think about: His goal is to give every family a PC and an internet connection. Great. What about the families who can't afford to pay the electric bills? And what will they do when they're hungry? Chew on the keyboard?

We have every right to be sad, thank you very much.

BEST TAGLINE: Juan Ponce "Manong Johnny" Enrile's simple-and-inexplicably-scary, "Gusto ko happy ka!"

Cringe moment: Enrile highlights how he did us all a favor by guarding our cellphone load. Hurray.

What the spin doctors didn't think about: Enrile as everyone's favorite "manong" is a concept that's very, very hard to swallow for those who experienced Martial Law under President Ferdinand Marcos' rule. Our manong here, who served as Minister of National Defense, has been identified as one of Martial Law's architects. (Thanks for guarding our cellphone load anyhow, Manong Johnny.)