Over at the ABS-CBN-owned DZMM, Ted Failon, who sits mornings, is getting to be an elder statesman of sorts. His insights are gaining a significant patina of maturity, and actually sounds better without his old on-air partner Korina Sanchez. In contrast, vice-president Noli de Castro, who has a Saturday talk show on DZMM is a prime example of how certain people should never be allowed to dispense commentary. At the GMA 7-operated BB, I have a perverse fascination with the Arnell Ignacio-Susan Enriquez tandem. Don't be fooled by the comic veneer: Ignacio just seems so wise in a sardonic sort of way and Enriquez is the effective fodder. Another tandem at DZRH, Love Chat with Ruth and Andy offers post-prandial sex advice, and you can't believe your ears when they verbally tiptoe their way around such notions as fellatio and anal intercourse without getting summoned by the Kapisanan ng mga Brodkaster ng Pilipinas.

My favorite commentator, however, is DZRH's Deo "Lakay" Macalma, who boards on both morning and afternoon. Bristling with earthy wit, intelligence and humor, the veteran Macalma is one of the best things about AM radio. After Macalma, DZRH begins its string of radio drama serials, starting with Hindi Hindi Kita Malilimutan. After the noontime news break, the drama continues. Couple of years back they had adventure-fantasies like Superdog and Aquario, Ang Batang Octopus, which makes for great listening especially under pharmacologically pleasant circumstances. But for freakier shit, I suggest you wait for the undying Gabi ng Lagim at 8 pm, where the plots remain eternally disturbing (i.e. a pious churchwoman finds out she's pregnant with Satan's child). A delightful experience, especially when driving alone, in a vast, dark, empty road.

But past midnight, AM takes on another character, this time more intimate and personal. Nearly everyone talks in somber, almost hushed tones, as if the kinetic volumes of the day were merely an ugly memory. It's another world, a mindscape populated by the lonely and the troubled, the sleepless and dreamless at 2 a.m. If it's not earnest preachers, it's romantic counsellors.

My favorite was "Kuya" Ely Cruz Ramirez, whom I've been following since my college days when he was still on DZXL. The self-dubbed "Mr. Cari�oso" speaks in a worldly though geriatric basso profundo, dripping of sex and seduction, and was once upon a time notorious for making obscene moans to female callers. There's nothing like him in these airwaves. But people still called him up for several things: advice on love, his "Love Calendar" which provides horoscope-based relationship counsel, and to "pawn" cellphone numbers for anyone interested in having a, uhm, good time. It is said that he had an on-air exchange involving a teenage girl who truly loved her boyfriend but refused to submit to premarital sex. His alleged advice: go to a motel with the boyfriend, get him naked, and "Pitikin mo yung itlog, para mawalan ng gana."

Then he was kicked out of the station.

Illustration on home page by Warren Espejo. Photo of transistor radio by Gem/Flickr.