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Lourd de Veyra: All I Want for Christmas

Lourd de Veyra | Published: Dec 21, 2009 - 5:56pm

lourd_santa_inside

To hear the last of "Nobody, Nobody But You": One of the major reasons for emigrating to another country. Hopefully outer Mongolia or some parts of the sub-African Sahara or just about any other place that has yet to know this vile thing called electricity.

A replacement of my vinyl copy of Black Sabbath Vol.4: Which is just about the greatest heavy metal album ever made. Drowned and warped by the heaviest-metal flooding to hit this godforsaken country.

A new Juan dela Cruz album: The reason why I still haven't killed myself yet is the hope that one day the Juan dela Cruz Band would get together, lock themselves up in the studio (hopefully with bagfulls of psychotropic substances) to write and record new songs. New songs that would hopefully smolder with slow, murderous riffs and acid-glazed lyrics.   Mike Hanopol may have found God, but Pepe Smith still hasn't. Nor seems interested to. But at least he hasn't OD'd yet. And Wally Gonzales still plays the blues like the devil himself. You can do it, guys. Go to the nearest Mercury Drug. Now. With your senior citizen cards, of course.

A genuinely funny Tito, Vic, and Joey movie: It should be pointed out that Iskul Bukol The Movie was criminally disappointing. It felt like an Enteng Kabisote movie with Joey and Tito plus some half-assed punchlines inserted as an afterthought. The result: forced, and an astonishingly clumsy attempt to cash in on generational nostalgia. Less than halfway into the movie, it forgets the Iskul Bukol aspect and meanders through fantasy adventure routines involving...involving...I forgot. Truth is, I fell asleep. And I want my money back.

A serious Dolphy film: Something in the mold of Ang Tatay Kong Nanay. For a man in the twilight of his career, he needs something that would address the, uh, human condition. And you can still be funny while being serious. There's a big difference between solemn and serious. Rene Requiestas is serious. Gil Portes is solemn. For chrissakes, the last thing Dolphy needs is another Tatay Nic or Home Along the Riles and the same old, tired toilet humor and slapstick gags. Give the man some respect. A good last movie is better than a middling National Artist Award, which has lost its prestige since every Carlo, Cecile, and Pitoy can get one. The National Artist Award does not deserve Dolphy. Let's hope Nobody, Nobody But Juan will not disappoint.


 
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  • emer Apr 14 2010 @ 12:17pm Report Abuse
    speaking of black sabbath, true story po: nag-last minute grocery kami ni esmi sa SM Bacoor last xmas, at lo and behold, warpigs, pinapatugtog as piped-in music, sa grocery mismo. Habang nagpa-panic buying ang mga tao, sabay "Satan laughing spreads his wings, Oh lord yeah!" . for the first time, in a long while, nadama ko ang xmas spirit. more power po bossing lourd!
  • Tabris Mar 24 2010 @ 10:23pm Report Abuse
    And, yes, I'd like to see Dolphy do something other than kiss Mamman's *ss before he lives forever.
  • Tabris Mar 24 2010 @ 10:20pm Report Abuse
    With luck this country will change for the better, enough for the Lourd to live in it without his Valium whiskers on the side...

    ... and enough for me to, well, care about being lambasted for mine bad habits.
  • danielle Jan 22 2010 @ 06:49pm Report Abuse
    all i want for christmas is bravery for people to admit that they steal by the millions and if they could affrord it by the billions. these are learned people, elected or otherwise, who are known for their despicable acts of thievery.

    sana, some reputable schools din should stop producing big thieves in this country. i think the biggest thieves in this country are learned. sana turuan nila ang estudyante nila na huwag magnakaw. i would respect a snatcher but not a learned thief na binoto ng tao. i see no reason para magnakaw pa sila because they live in plush villages, wear the trendiest clothes, drives in the flashiest cars. don't you realize that the big thieves in this country are products of good and best schools. they're also some of the brightest minds but because they steal, they become idiots
  • totel Jan 07 2010 @ 06:38pm Report Abuse
    penge diazepam. pabili. o kaya turo mo source. am not from pdea. just a happy man who wants to be happier
  • James Ty III Jan 05 2010 @ 01:57pm Report Abuse
    When I was young, the late night newscasts were at 10 pm. That's what QTV is doing now. Honestly, I prefer the old days when American TV shows like The A-Team were dominating the airwaves.

    By the way, Lourd, a movie version of The A-Team is set to be shown in the US in June this year. Liam Neeson plays the George Peppard role.
  • gildopot Dec 23 2009 @ 12:54pm Report Abuse
    dyahe ba if Judge Luisito Cortez demanded a guarantee from gma herself (written and duly notarized in recto) that nothing evil happens to him or his family?
  • Monrovia Dec 23 2009 @ 01:11am Report Abuse
    Lourd, for voicing our collective wishes (especially re ampatuans, comelec, wowowee) and giving us wonderful blogs all the time, I shall make it my life's mission to look for the black sabbath vinyl you so desperately want! I'll throw in a few Scotch whiskies if you blog more often...
  • lobanegra Dec 22 2009 @ 01:46pm Report Abuse
    re: godforsaken country is the only country we have...
    re: comelec 2nd division - i couldnt agree with you more! gimme 5
    re:Vlad the Impaler is alive - the ampatuan family!
    they ought to be shot by musketry in the Luneta or garrote on nationwide TV.
    merci merci for the witty observations!
    Cheers Lourds!
  • victoria Dec 22 2009 @ 11:25am Report Abuse
    re Dolphy film and genuinely funny Tito, Vic and Joey movie, super agree. The world has had enough of slapstick and senseless gags.
  • somebody Dec 22 2009 @ 11:05am Report Abuse
    re. nighttime news programs... I couldn't agree more. I've been wanting to watch them, and the documentaries as well, but I sure can't if I feel so sleepy already.
  • ako Dec 22 2009 @ 11:04am Report Abuse
    Can Mother Lily retire already so we can have less of the Caparases and more of the Martins? Imagine Dolphy in the hands of those young filmmakers, I'd definitely see that.
  • maan Dec 22 2009 @ 10:03am Report Abuse
    i so agree with the nighttime programs. all the Koreanovelas tell the same crappy story anyway and yet, yet, there are like millions of them being shown.
  • michael Dec 22 2009 @ 06:56am Report Abuse
    This is how we used to do it. Take the warped LP, place it between 2 panes of glass, leave it out in the sun for a while, cool, then remove it from between the glass panes. Cured some warps, even those moderately severe ones from fire damage. Hope this works because Christmas and life in general would be so corny... without Black Sabbath.

    Merry Christmas, Lourd!
  • boboy Dec 22 2009 @ 02:49am Report Abuse
    Merry Christmas sir.
  • The lourd is my shepherd Dec 21 2009 @ 10:50pm Report Abuse
    This really is a godforsaken country. What the hell is wrong with us?
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