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Lourd de Veyra: P@#! Ina! Ang init!

Lourd de Veyra | Published: Mar 9, 2010 - 3:57pm

Hottest recorded day of the year dapat nung February 24–pero hindi nagtagal, tinaob ito ng March 6 na may talang 35.8 degrees Celcius. Konti na lang, lalapit na tayo sa hottest recorded temperature in history: sa Al 'Aziziyah, Libya nung September 13, 1922, sa 57.8  °C (136.0  °F). Ang nakakatakot: Marso pa lang. Wala pa tayo sa kalahati ng taon. Tama si T.S. Eliot nung sabihin niyang, "April is the cruelest month" dahil mismong bahay ko nagiging amoy-kebab pag summer. Malupit talaga. Sabi ng Nathaniel Cruz ng PAGASA ("Mang Tani" na lang daw, pero hindi kami ganun ka-close), "Baka hanggang Hunyo wala pa rin ulan." Nagpa-Oratio Imperata na ang simbahan para magka-ulan.   Ayon sa Catholic Culture Dictionary: "Oratio Imperata: An ordered prayer. The prayer for a special intention, besides the ones prescribed by ritual, that the Pope or the bishop of a diocese may require to be said at Mass, e.g., for peace." Bakit kaya hindi tayo nagpa-Oratio Imperata na mawala na si Gloria dati pa lang?

Paano pa kaya sa May 10? Ano kaya ang magiging temperatura?

Paano kaya sa mga masisikip, mainit, at maalinsangan na polling precints? Magkakagulo kaya ang mga pila sa labas ng mga classroom na amoy-pawis? May mag-aamok kaya dahil wala ang mga pangalan nila sa voters' list? May maghuhuramentado kaya dahil sinusuka ng PCOS machines yung balota? O kaya nagkamali sa pagmarka dahil hindi pala natin lubos na naunawaan ang mga leksyon na tinuro ng Sex Bomb dancers tungkol sa pagmarka sa bilog na hugis bayag, este, itlog? May mababaliw kaya sa pagsabay-sabay na pagpapatugtog ng mga campaign jingles sa labas ng presinto, mga sanga-sangang banderitas at makukulay na tarpaulin ng mga na-Photoshop na pagmumukha ng kandidato? Sensory assault!

Naaalala ko tuloy yung mga last few months ng Cory administration. Nagkaklase kayo na may hawak na flashlight yung teacher. Hindi ko alam kung paano natiis ng mga Pilipino yung   mga panahon na yun–mga brownout na umaabot ng 8 hanggang 10 hours kada araw. Ang mas nakakabahala, dumating sa punto na parang nasasanay ka na rin. Nagbabasa sa tabi ng kandila, walang sounds, walang TV.

Ang init. Pinaparusahan na siguro tayo ng Diyos dahil sa Wowowee. Ang init. Hindi kaya dahil sa init ay hindi tayo umaasenso? Pero marami din namang sibilisasyon na umunlad kahit mainit, di ba? Bakit ang Singapore? Grabe din ang init dun. Pero tingin ko, kaya sila progresibo at mayaman ay dahil wala silang bubble gum. Yun siguro ang ugat ng ating kahirapan: bubble gum.

Mainit, brownout. Naaalala ko bigla yung dati naming kapitbahay na bigtime drug pusher. Ilang taon na siyang nagta-tap sa linya ng Meralco. Ibig sabihin, ilang taon na rin siyang nakakalibre ng kuryente. Pero isang araw–boing!– natiklo siya ng mga taga-Meralco, pinutulan (ng kuryente), at kinasuhan. Siyempre, dahil may matinding kaso siya, hindi siya basta-bastang puwedeng magpabalik ng linya.   Kung ikaw ay bigtime na drug pusher na hindi puwedeng mabuhay na walang ref (taguan malamang ng damo) at aircon, ano ang gagawin mo?

Eto ang ginawa ng walanghiya: bumili ng sariling generator. Pinuwesto sa labas ng gate. Blackout ang buong kalye, pero bahay niya lang ang may ilaw. Hanggang madaling araw, na kung kelan balot na dapat sa katahimikan ang paligid, may eskandalosong makinang ayaw tumigil sa pag-atungal. Ang buhay ng drug lord nga naman.

Sa ikauunlad ng bayan, droga ang kailangan.


Illustration by Warren Espejo


 
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  • wholesale handbags 9 months ago Report Abuse
    Thanes for the nice post. Thanks for an honest and truthful post, the like of which is surprisingly rare and all the far more useful for it.cheap designer handbags Regards, John.
  • rango Mar 12 2011 @ 06:46am Report Abuse
    I think igeramos is indeed a go0d writer, do u also have your own blog? Reading his previous comments from other Lourd's post, kitang-kita ang galing nya gumamit ng salita, in English or F-ilipino. . . Back to Lourd. Mas effective si Lourd sa English, halatang hnd sanay sumulat sa Filipino, iyun eh kung nagha2nap tau ng mala Chiz Escudero pananagalog. . . Siguro since nsa mainstream na sya, with all the TV sh0ws on TV5, where Willing-Willie is aired, and Sha-lala is called a Talent-sc0ut, hindi na ko magtataka ipagpilitan ng spot.ph na managal0g xa.
  • contessa Mar 12 2011 @ 06:26am Report Abuse
    Ganun kainit jan, MM b yan? Here kasi samen sa Sampaloc, Tanay, Rizal parang hello, need mo ng jacket dahil malamig, paglabas mo ng kalsada, everyone is wearing ukay-ukay winter collecti0n jacket, hindi sila nagpapacute, hehe, tlgang maginaw!
  • jojo Apr 28 2010 @ 10:26am Report Abuse
    kasing init ng maining mainit
  • ana Apr 24 2010 @ 09:00pm Report Abuse
    this blog deserves a Palanca!
  • igeramos Apr 13 2010 @ 01:01am Report Abuse
    ORATIO IMPERATA AD PETENDAM PLUVIAM

    Dyos ko 'day! Sana'y umulan na!
  • andreidae Apr 13 2010 @ 12:14am Report Abuse
    ang angas nito dude.. one of my fave post!.. ang cool! keep it up.. pero ang init talaga! and fave ko itong linya mo..

    "for peace.Ć¢ā‚¬Ā Bakit kaya hindi tayo nagpa-Oratio Imperata na mawala na si Gloria dati pa lang?"

    i ♄ your post!
  • mariana Mar 22 2010 @ 11:50am Report Abuse
    You are the funniest ever! I couldn't stop laughing. Kahit wala ako sa Manila (but in Edmonton,Alberta,Canada where its still -10C) to experience that heat, boy, you do describe it so well and in such an entertaining way. I like your style of writing. Kudos!
  • what\'sthefrequency Mar 16 2010 @ 11:45am Report Abuse
    I wonder if Lourd still feels like Manila's a desert. The weather's been weird.
  • balasubas Mar 16 2010 @ 09:24am Report Abuse
    Ang hirap makipag SEX pag sobrang INIT!
  • cardude Mar 16 2010 @ 08:56am Report Abuse
    Myrza please stop cutting up Lourd's blog posts. I know you want more hits and all, and you have every right to. But we want to read something this good in one smooth flow. ClickingĆ¢ā‚¬ā€even just onceĆ¢ā‚¬ā€interrupts the flow of reading.
  • c@loy Mar 13 2010 @ 10:01pm Report Abuse
    ay lumabas na rin sa wakas. at sa bibig pa mismo ng hudas...si DINGDONG na nka brief na masikip lang pala ang katapat nito....
  • geng Mar 12 2010 @ 04:00pm Report Abuse
    bumubula na ang kili kili ko sa init. astig yang si lourd,kaya naman ako napapadpad dito sa spot.ph dahil sa blog niya at sked ng mga pelikula. naalala ko lang may friend akong taga UST na naging stalker mo.
  • jime Mar 12 2010 @ 02:25pm Report Abuse
    ako din pinapawisan na sa ...............
  • fpjjr Mar 11 2010 @ 05:04pm Report Abuse
    I definitely agree lourd!
    lahat na lang nag-iinit...


    Hindi kaya lumitaw ang Tulay na lupa na dinaanan ng mga ninuno natin?
  • rebie Mar 11 2010 @ 04:47pm Report Abuse
    hi lourd,
    love talaga kita. first time pa lang ng segment mo sa TEN sobrang aliw na ako sa'yo. keep it up! ;_)
  • ka fredo Mar 11 2010 @ 04:23pm Report Abuse
    Panalong quote of the day :

    Ć¢ā‚¬Ā Bakit kaya hindi tayo nagpa-Oratio Imperata na mawala na si Gloria dati pa lang?
  • aschel Mar 11 2010 @ 03:31pm Report Abuse
    COOL...
  • uberVU - social comments Mar 11 2010 @ 03:00pm Report Abuse
    Social comments and analytics for this post...

    This post was mentioned on Twitter by Spotdotph: Lourd de Veyra: P@#! Ina! Ang init! http://bit.ly/a9LGxc...
  • Pinoyrocks Mar 11 2010 @ 02:52pm Report Abuse
    Sa Thailand nga, 35 degrees din ang temperature...sa normal na araw.
  • sapulasaputi Mar 11 2010 @ 02:40pm Report Abuse
    YELO nga po jan! tutoo nga ang sabi ni lourd mas maisgi ang pasenxa ng mga tao ngaung panahon.. he he he
  • special Mar 10 2010 @ 11:16pm Report Abuse
    What's wrong with having aircon and a macbook? Kung pinaghirapan naman eh okay lang. Di naman ibig sabihin na may magagandang bagay na eh conyo na.

    Wala lang!
  • igeramos Mar 10 2010 @ 07:26pm Report Abuse
    @what'sthefrequency et al,

    ako rin naman, nagjo-joke. i don't take this comment thing seriously.

    Since I graduated playing World of Warcraft (WOW) online with 10,000, which I presume, straight men, or boys, with raging hormones, I stopped taking things personally. In other words, walang personalan when you have to kill someone. To be able to survive the cyberspace one must have killer instincts.

    I assumed many roles and screen names, and one of my favorite character is Abaddon, the Lord of Avernus. I was drawn to it because it reminded me so much of Florante at Laura by Balagtas. If you remember your Pilipino class in high school, Averno was the hell-like state where Florante went for something, which I now forgot, but the name Averno stuck.

    My point is, I was playing WOW with both coños and jologs and people coming from different countries. I realized early in my life that the Internet is indeed a level playing field.

    I EB'd (eyeballed) a lot of people because of warcraft, in fact, I dated a few of them. They were fascinated with the idea that gay men actually enjoy playing on-line games. And those allegedly straight men wanted to experiment with their sexuality. So it was a perfect idea at the time.

    Wala pang facebook noon, kaya na-addict ako sa WOW. I would go to some hole in a wall internet cafe in Meycauan or Bacoor just to satisfy my cravings.

    I stopped playing WOW because I'm getting older and the players are getting younger. Baka makalaboso ako. Hahahaha! (Elvira Manahan laughter.) Besides, I only like older and wiser men, with whom I can have a proper conversation when I'm not on-line.

    Well this is not about me, I'm just trying to cite an example how the Internet can shape our lives.

    This is not about what best language to use: Pilipino vs. English, that the latter has more snob appeal than the former. Again the point is, communication and your audience understands you. At kung saan ka comfortable?

    This is not about Jologs vs. coño. or masa vs. sosyal. You can now see masa buying Havaiannas from the malls and even if its 800 pesos, and it is not about aspiration because chinelas is a chinelas.

    This is about Lourd and how a writer like him harness the power of the internet to reach his audience.

    If you go to one of the gigs of Radioactive Sago Project, you see a wide range demographic profile from the academe, middle class, geeks, colegialas, baklas, hipping kulelat, punkistang kulelat, poets, record producers, tibak, fashion models, chinoy publisher, etc. Ang saya saya diba?

    Ika nga ni Tita Aida. Let's celebrate our diversity and down with generic homogeneity.

    Shet, hang haba na naman ng sinulat ko. Hindi ko na ito ieedit. Quesehodang i proofread ako ni Elizabeth at ni Arabella Stuart, Care Ko!

    I don't take this things seriously.

    My only beef with Spot.PH is you can't remove your posting. Unless, kilala mo yung Editor-in-Chief or yung web administrator. Nakataga na ito sa bato. Unless of course, mag mura ka, talagang, tatanggalin nila ito.

    Sorry ka na lang, at hindi ito facebook na puwede mong iremove yung post mo.
  • what'sthefrequency Mar 10 2010 @ 04:40pm Report Abuse
    @kiku hala ka baka masabihan kang konyo...
  • kiku Mar 10 2010 @ 02:31pm Report Abuse
    The Tagalog don't work eh. You sound very ordinary. Anglaise na lang ulit.
  • emma Mar 10 2010 @ 01:15pm Report Abuse
    @ igeramos: "Kalibog-libog kang basahin" nadali mo! :) and sensing by the way you write that comment, you could easily be the Lourd's b*tch! :)
  • what'sthefrequency Mar 10 2010 @ 10:37am Report Abuse
    uy, joke lang. idol ko si lourd. nung college tinanong ako nyan kung sino ang bagong gitarista ng red hot chili peppers. initiation namin sa ust journalism noon. syempre di ko alam nun dahil bobo ako sa music. peace lourd!
  • igeramos Mar 10 2010 @ 10:33am Report Abuse
    Sheeeeet, pare coño ka daw pare, hijo de, jake, pare, macbook? hijo de, coño ka nga! pare, shet, awesome, you're so phat! Pretty hot and tempting. Pa kiss nga pare?
  • scorched Mar 10 2010 @ 09:43am Report Abuse
    parang lab na lab mo si Lourd, what'sthefrequency, hehehehe
  • what'sthefrequency Mar 10 2010 @ 08:18am Report Abuse
    coño din yang si lourd. imposibleng walang aircon yan sa bahay. laptop nyan macbook
  • MP Mar 10 2010 @ 06:41am Report Abuse
    Grabe ka Lourd, bakit ngayon mo lang sinabi na pwede palang magpa-Oratio Imperata? Sana dati pa lang sabay-sabay tayong nagdasal na mawala si GMA, Bong, jinggoy, Erap, Money V, Jamby, Gilbert, Pimentel, Enrile, Mike A, Mikey A, Erap..

    Ay ang dami pala nila... let us bow our heads and all together now....
  • irene Mar 10 2010 @ 06:25am Report Abuse
    Bakit kaya hindi tayo nagpa-Oratio Imperata na mawala na si Gloria dati pa lang?
  • el ninong Mar 10 2010 @ 06:10am Report Abuse
    buti na lang may aircon sa ofis..;)
  • zizou Mar 10 2010 @ 05:17am Report Abuse
    You guys are a bunch of whiners. I survived summer with 50 degrees Celsius here in the Middle East. At Pinoy ako so hindi rin ako sanay sa mainit!

    It's the kind of heat that can melt away glue from your shoe soles, the kind of heat that suffocates you when you step outside, the kind of heat that fogs up your sunglasses when you step outside. The kind of heat that makes your eyes bloodshot. May sandstorm pang kasama.

    36 degrees is nothing!
  • lai Mar 09 2010 @ 11:44pm Report Abuse
    Lourd for president!!
  • ongis7 Mar 09 2010 @ 11:08pm Report Abuse
    el nino daw?kung iisipin lang ng mga corrupt na politiko na yan na madali lang makakuha ng tubig sa pinas.mag butas ka lang sa lupa tubig na eh..bakit di sila magbutas este maglagay ng deepwell...tignan sa mapa,ang pilipinas ay napapaligiran ng napakaraming tubig..nyaaaaaaaaaaa bakit ang saudi walang ulan pero sagana sa tubig.letche priority kasi nilang isipin kung paano maka corrupt..ang dami.andyan ang fertilizer scam.boadband deal,etc. etc.dati ang pinas 2nd to the super power country in asia 2nd to japan.now asan na tayo?ohhhhhh bayag kong pilipinas este bayan kong pilipinas lupain ng gintot bulaklak.baka dumating ang time para na tayong bangladesh.im proud to be a pilipino but im not proud about the system of govt.
  • angelbyday Mar 09 2010 @ 08:22pm Report Abuse
    i would marry you. if only for the Wowowee statement.
  • igeramos Mar 09 2010 @ 08:12pm Report Abuse
    Ayoko nang hintayin pa, ang mga coñong maninira sa iyo, kasama ng mga lalaking urong ang ari. Ito ang panitikang maangas. Daig mo pa ang halo-halong Digman. Bawat salita at kataga ay may kunat ng kaong, lutong ng pinipig, lapot ng makapuno, tamis ng l*ch* flan. At ang gatas na gamit ay galing sa s*s* ng dalagang ina--may tamis, may alat at may asim na hinahanap ng uhaw na sanggol. Kalibog-libog kang basahin. Kung babae lang ako, matagal na kitang sinunggaban. Pero hindi ito maaaring maganap, dahil pareho tayong matulis.
  • emma Mar 09 2010 @ 08:09pm Report Abuse
    by the way, that's some badass HOT picture. :)
  • emma Mar 09 2010 @ 08:07pm Report Abuse
    I wish I could win a trip inside your head. I'd gladly stay there. Kudos Lourd.
  • popcookie Mar 09 2010 @ 05:25pm Report Abuse
    tubeeeeeeeeeeeeeg!!!
  • dramaqueen Mar 09 2010 @ 04:54pm Report Abuse
    mapa-ingles o pilipino, love ko talaga ang writer na 'to. buti na lang nandito ako sa bansang may yelo..hehe..ang lamig!
  • what'sthefrequency Mar 09 2010 @ 04:54pm Report Abuse
    reklamo ka nanaman lourd
  • Brew Mar 09 2010 @ 04:39pm Report Abuse
    I love this. Probably one of my favorite posts. Ang Wowowee and dahilan ng sobrang tag-init. At si Kris Aquino and dahilan kung bakit nagka-Ondoy. Pinaparusahan na nga tayo ng Diyos dahil sa mga yan.
  • ij Mar 09 2010 @ 04:18pm Report Abuse
    P@3ang-In@ ang init! basang basa na cguro ang bayag este itlog nyo! hahaha
  • mary_ann_lei Mar 09 2010 @ 04:17pm Report Abuse
    Ako rin parang gusto ko na rin magmura sa sobrang init! I hate summer!
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