Back to top
Lourd de Veyra: Words and Phrases a Real Man Must Never Use
Our SPOT.ph blogger on "bongga," "carbs," and other off-limits words for manly men.
By: Lourd de Veyra  |   Published on: Mar 26, 2010 - 7:09pm

Because, in the end, words are all we have, said one very, very dead poet. Last year, the editors of the online incarnation of the world's most subliminally gay magazine, FHM, asked me to list down words and phrases that a real man must avoid. Here is an expanded version of that.

"BONGGA"–Increasingly becoming the most evil phrase invented in recent linguistic memory. Two syllables with the greatest damage to masculinity.

"ONE MARGARITA, PLEASE"–Nothing corrodes at the heart of manliness than a silly cocktail glass with salt around the rim and a sickeningly bright liquid that resembles diluted urine and bearing almost zero traces of alcohol.

"CUTE NG BAG MO"–Or just about anything that involves the word cute together with any piece of fashion-related accessory. Shameful minus points for familiarity with French and Italian labels and the words "fake eyelashes."

I'M ON A DIET–This, along with "no rice," "diet Coke," "brown rice," and that crime against all logic and decency, "vegetarian chicharon."

CARBS–What, afraid you won't get your own giant Bench underwear billboard on Edsa?

WORKOUT TAYO, DUDE–If brotherhood is truly global, then we must have the decency to avoid inflicting on fellow members of the species such frightening words.

"ROBERT PATTINSON"–Interchangeable with "Edward Cullen." The fact that we are even familiar with him is indicative of the cracks in our fortress of manhood. Minus 50 macho points for any man who can provide spirited discourse on the Twilight series.

SPA–When the correct term should be "massage parlor."

SALON–There was a time when the world turned on its tranquil axis and men got haircuts from barbers–in barbershops. It was a time of harmony and peace: rusty scissors and murderously sharp straight razors were used, and talcum powder, rubbing alcohol, warm towels, and an assortment of mysterious burning liniments were slapped on napes, necks, and faces. There were no such things as "creative directors," "senior stylists," "shampoo and blowdry," and other silliness.

"BORA"–Ugly, lazy contraction of that noisy, overcrowded island with uglier reggae music and Starbucks. Takes on more emasculating levels when the "R" is not rolled.

"HINDI KAYA NG POWERS KO"–Nothings screams "Darna!" with more passion and silver glitters.

"GREEN TEA MOCHA FRAP WITH EXTRA CINAMMON"–God designed the male species specifically to avoid the consumption of overpriced drinks with pointlessly intricate ziggurats of whipped cream and chocolate.

"THINGIE"–Is it the insufferably cute sound? Or do you say to yourself, "There goes a sensible human being?"

"FAVE"–Sometimes, attempts at terseness tend to misfire.

"INTERIOR DESIGN"–Le Corbusier chairs? Mediterranean walls? Minimalism? Vintage decoupage screens? Mark Hampton? Muji storage shelves? Why, the cave is our natural habitat--and Orocan its only sensible furniture.

"TOTE"–Used in a sentence: "I tote I saw a pussy--not pussy cat. Just pussy."

"LET'S PARTY!"–Manly men will get drunk, stoned, laid, beat the crap out of each other, swim in vomit, tossed unconscious into a cab, and wake up in a strange sidewalk somewhere in Montalban. But they will never, ever fucking party.

GOSSIP GIRL–Self-explanatory.

 

This is a Crazy Planets is available in newsstands, bookstores and supermarkets nationwide for only P195. For more information, click here.

How do you feel about this article?
Win  
14
Yum  
0
Want!  
1
LOL  
3
Yuck  
1
WTF  
0
19
Total Votes
Related Articles
Username   * required
Security Code Security Code  * required
 
NOTE: SPOT.ph editors reserve the right to moderate and delete comments, without notice, that contain abusive or threatening behavior, contain advertising, spam, profanity or malicious comments.
129 Comments
  • yoya
    No offense. kasi medyo old na rin si Lourd. Pag nood mo wasak, medyo may konting pagdedespise nya sa social media and all that. Not necessarily di siya Ok with all these. Siguro nga, kasi diba writer nga siya, malalim siya. Hindi siya literal. Pwedeng sarcastic, pwedeng nagpapatawa, pwede rin totoo. Pero after nito, wala lang siguro sa kanya yan. So, don't take it personally siguro, guys. He's a writer. A Brilliant Writer. One of a kind.
    4 months ago     Reply  
  • Random Commenter
    I get this is all satire but come on. You're smart enough to understand the subliminal message this sends.

    Such heteronormative discourse fuels homophobia. The chest-thumping machismo expectations need to stop. It's in the same vein as enforcing what girls *should* wear. Sexuality is a fluid spectrum. What people want or say is their business and it does not remove from (or even add to) their sexuality.
    6 months ago     Reply  
  • hurr
    no one should say any of those words and phrases EVER. not just men. period.
    8 months ago     Reply  
  • [email protected]
    kaaliw basahin ng mga comment hehehe, ibig sabihin pinag kaabalahan nilang basahin tong article na to at nienternalize pa...hehehe, inom kayo dulcolax baka na gegerbs lang kayo.
    Jul 31 2012 @ 12:47pm     Reply  
    2
  • SmartAss
    Hey Bugie, Layoff with Lourd huh? he ain't in your league, so back off...
    Jun 19 2012 @ 11:42pm     Reply  
    2
  • bugie
    LOURD IS THE MOST INSECURE PERSON IN THE WORLD. "ang tunay na lalaki ay walang abs?" well, you're not just man enough to stay away from beer and your vices. masyado kang pa-smart at pa-weird. by the way, your speech in UP last march, s****
    Jun 19 2012 @ 11:17pm     Reply  
    9
  • stalin
    lourd ur the best. i just got ur book and i must say, tamad akong magbasa pero pag yun yung binabasa ko sumisipag ako.
    Feb 16 2012 @ 12:10am     Reply  
  • babym16
    sobrang affected naman yung iba :D
    Feb 15 2012 @ 04:38pm     Reply  
    2
  • shawn
    hey dude, i really felt sad and compassionate about whatever happened to your sense of humor. it must be really hard living without it, oh poor you. XD
    Feb 04 2012 @ 02:39pm     Reply  
    3
  • dude
    the writer who came up with this list seriously has issues and problems being insecure.

    you do no judge a man's masculinity by words.

    get a life bro!
    Feb 03 2012 @ 01:00pm     Reply  
    3
  • homophobic
    its one of those homophobic writeup that shouldn't get published for being to boring and passe. I think the author is gay himself, he knows too many. hmmm I think he's even a fan of Vice Ganda! ;) real mean doesn't really care about anything!
    Jan 10 2012 @ 01:34pm     Reply  
    2
  • sharkyromblon
    mas enjoy pa mag basa ng mga nag ku-comment...
    Jan 04 2012 @ 01:39am     Reply  
  • solitarypartygroover
    spakol pwede
    Jan 03 2012 @ 05:56pm     Reply  
  • juklita. :d
    hanu vey. :D nakakalurkey. :D ndi ako bading prrreee! :D
    Nov 23 2011 @ 11:37am     Reply  
  • kar
    do you ever read comments? if you do, tama ka!!! daming conyo boys lalo na dyan sa manila!!!! ewwww! dami ring mga maaarteng babae!
    Oct 30 2011 @ 12:26pm     Reply  
  • loserdeveyra
    tsssss... loser tong de veyra
    Oct 19 2011 @ 06:21pm     Reply  
    4
  • ghostprotocol
    Ang daming tungaw dito..hahaha.. Masyadong sineseryoso ang isang topic na obvious naman na for fun lang.. Alam nyo naman nga na walang solid na basehan ang checklist na yan (pero most words na nasa list e totoo) e kung makareact ang iba at magseryoso akala naman sila ang nagpauso ng gay lingo... Loosen up guys!.. Wag masyadong seryosohin 2.... @ LDV, keep it up!..
    Oct 18 2011 @ 05:38pm     Reply  
  • nameless
    Kaasar eh. dang daming bakla! mamatay na bading!
    Oct 05 2011 @ 04:15pm     Reply  
    1
  • chakaness
    bongga 'teh! wit mo nadagdag ang "chaka" na word. as in use in a sentence na, "ang chaka ng fez mo." Lourd, you are a forec to reckon with.
    Sep 28 2011 @ 09:29pm     Reply  
    1
  • clamour
    no homo... chos
    Sep 28 2011 @ 04:38pm     Reply  
  • jeff uy
    got out and formed a bandrnrn
    Sep 01 2011 @ 09:53am     Reply  
  • punk
    hindi rin ako agree sa lahat ng nakalista dito pero naaliw ako sa pagbabasa. kung nagcomment kang galit na galit, opinion lang ni lourd to, gumawa ka na lang ng blog na pinamagatang "kung pano dinevastate ng blog ni lourd ang buhay ko dahil nagbabasa ako ng blog nya at nainis ako ng todo."
    Aug 12 2011 @ 02:50pm     Reply  
  • red
    sali nyu narin dyan yung "FACIAL" ^_^
    Jul 10 2011 @ 01:35pm     Reply  
  • stuart
    As usual very pointed yet funny. . nobody likes hearing the truth but you write it so well. Thanks
    Jun 23 2011 @ 09:28pm     Reply  
  • jeh
    chorla
    Jun 23 2011 @ 07:21am     Reply  
  • jeffrey john imutan
    dapay kasali yung "KAKALOKA"
    Nov 09 2010 @ 05:21pm     Reply  
  • tokyodawhaha
    @tokyoboy: well real men in tokyo has their own parlors lmao, guess that explains the tote bags...
    Oct 03 2010 @ 09:20pm     Reply  
  • Knottydon
    Pakidagdag sa list ang:rnrnTA-MAAAAAAAH!!! (yun may tono)
    Sep 29 2010 @ 05:10pm     Reply  
  • Dave
    This list is funny but not all true.. and those who agree to everything in this list really need a healthy dose of common sense knocked into their heads. Its even more ridiculous that some would go to the extent of making up statistics of who are the real men in this country are.. just to appease their frail egos i suspect. If you guys and gals really want know the complexities of the social nature of men & women, then i suggest you all read the latest updated version of Social Psychology by David Myers. Its based on authenticated human social bahavior studies across all cultures, have updated psych statistics (to get the record straight) and totally free of all prejudice tainting this thread.
    Sep 20 2010 @ 01:02am     Reply  
    2
  • yeah,yeah
    this is called humor.rnrnlighten up.rnmura lang ang dulcolax.
    Sep 19 2010 @ 03:33pm     Reply  
  • Jason
    bakit ang daming bakla na nag co comment sa list na ito?
    Sep 19 2010 @ 03:21pm     Reply  
  • Jason
    ang tunay na lalaki hindi nag sasabi ng "will you marry me?"
    Sep 19 2010 @ 03:16pm     Reply  
  • pao
    patayin ang patriarchy hanggang sa lingguwahe!
    Aug 06 2010 @ 11:28pm     Reply  
  • Cudi
    Hahaha! Comment pa lang halata na kung sino ang may SEXUAL CONFUSION (ie. bading) HAHAHAHA! I'm not saying that like it's a bad thing (actually it is) HAHA!
    Jul 18 2010 @ 10:02pm     Reply  
    1
  • amfotae
    chillax lang yung mga todo kondena, opinion lang ni lourd yan. pero tanggap ng tnl mga sinabi nya, hahaha!!!!
    Jul 05 2010 @ 04:02pm     Reply  
  • vivahotdog
    nice..heheh
    Jul 01 2010 @ 10:16pm     Reply  
  • Gago
    Frikin biases... Too sexist issues... Kung lalaki kayo na bukas ang utak, tanggapin ninyo na nagbabago ang mundo... Language is ever changing, and the words we use develop through time... Words develop and change... Kung sasabihin ninyo na ganyan ang criteria ng hindi pagiging lalaki, bahala kayo, pero sigurado ako, baka mapatay pa kayo ng mga tinatawag ninyong "hindi lalaki"
    Jun 29 2010 @ 10:14pm     Reply  
    4
  • Sapul
    Is it safe to say that Lourd is gay? The Gaylord?
    Jun 19 2010 @ 11:52pm     Reply  
  • Madilim.Tahimik
    pa-dagdag na rin ng salitang "Oh God". Hahahah..
    Jun 02 2010 @ 02:17am     Reply  
  • wanderer
    if you're taking advice on how to be a real man from lourd de vera then you're already fkd.
    May 25 2010 @ 02:09am     Reply  
  • jedimaster
    how about these (actual dialogue heard from two different men):

    "you are so gorgeous!"
    "that's very Julia Roberts! (or the name of some other Hollywood celebrity)"
    May 12 2010 @ 03:46pm     Reply  
  • cher
    this list is just hilarious! :P
    i definitely agree with everything on the list.
    May 06 2010 @ 01:51am     Reply  
  • AxLs34n
    dapat kasama yung keri at chos/chorva/chuva and other variations
    May 01 2010 @ 09:03pm     Reply  
  • Godzilla
    And where the f*ck is "GLEE"?
    Apr 30 2010 @ 04:00am     Reply  
  • Axcel jin
    Aus toh haa..
    keep it up tol,
    Apr 27 2010 @ 12:12pm     Reply  
  • Ang Lambi
    lahat ng nagseryoso...tungaw....
    Apr 25 2010 @ 02:37pm     Reply  
  • Third
    Ang taray!
    Apr 24 2010 @ 02:03am     Reply  
  • Doc Harry
    Some people need to lighten up. Maybe it's the heat; humor past slapstick escapes them.

    Great stuff Lourd!

    But come on! One of the few ways you can get away with it is if it says "spa" on the credit card bill! LOL!
    Apr 22 2010 @ 10:13pm     Reply  
  • kamote
    I guess lourd never tried the spa for men :) Tawag minsan ay spakol.
    Apr 22 2010 @ 11:24am     Reply  
  • Jay Bentley
    p*&^!@#$6! mga bading lang ang hindi sumasangayon sa list na to! MGA BADING!!!
    Apr 22 2010 @ 07:23am     Reply  
  • ratbu
    Ang tunay na lalake simple lang...may paninidigan. Anything else..stereotyping lang. P*t*ng*n* ninyo lahat.
    Apr 22 2010 @ 12:44am     Reply  
    2
  • Ken Gonzaga
    Digs na Digs to pare. kudos sayo!
    Apr 21 2010 @ 10:59pm     Reply  
  • sprikitik
    "MEGANON?"
    Apr 21 2010 @ 10:30pm     Reply  
  • jonallinyang
    Ano ba ang tunay na lalaki sa iyo Lourd? Sila ba yong malakas uminom? Sila ba yong nagsusuot ng kurbata? Sila ba yong nagyoyosi? Sila ba yong ganito-ganiyan.
    Apr 21 2010 @ 04:20pm     Reply  
    1
  • reyjr
    You forgot to include one that's ALREADY a part of Pinoy real men's everyday language - "Chika"

    Real guy 1: "O, asan girlfriend mo pare?"
    Real guy 2: "Ayun, nakikipag chikahan pa sa mga kaibigan nya"
    Apr 21 2010 @ 10:23am     Reply  
  • yosh
    Mas marami kayong mahihitang rules on manliness dito: http://tunaynalalake.blogspot.com/ wazak na wazak yan
    Apr 21 2010 @ 10:10am     Reply  
  • perfection
    who ever wrote this is a stereotyping hypocrite., you need to grow a brain or something
    Apr 19 2010 @ 11:08am     Reply  
    2
  • plukpluk
    if i may add.
    status sa FB "having lunch with office mates. yummy!!"

    mas nakita ko ang entry na ito bilang "joke". kung may tinamaan, (yung mga todo ang react), digs lang. tawa lang. ang pikon, guilty. opinion lang naman ni ldv to. hindi ito magiging basehan ng buong pilipinas kung sino ang alin at kung sino ang hindi. hindi din naman siguro sinulat 'to para i-kundena ang mga hindi tunay na lalake.

    ganun lang ka simple...
    imbyerna kayo ha..
    Apr 16 2010 @ 05:10pm     Reply  
  • Viva
    Ang ganda lang masyado. Couldn\'t stop myself from giggling in my own little cubicle of a world. :) yay you made my day!

    my favorite entry...
    'SPA—When the correct term should be “massage parlor.”' or id you really want to sound extra macho, "spakol".
    Apr 13 2010 @ 04:40pm     Reply  
  • Juan
    @Mylene, your assistant was fired for what?
    Apr 11 2010 @ 11:38pm     Reply  
  • Mylene Lising
    This is so FUNNY.

    My fag assistant used to say ALL of the above.

    He's been fired.
    Apr 11 2010 @ 04:47pm     Reply  
  • doooods! pre!
    yung paggamit ng handy wipes yung scented or tissue kasi walang panyo. o kaya yung word na "chu chu" meaning kausap.
    Apr 11 2010 @ 11:35am     Reply  
  • captain
    hindi basehan ang liggo if you're a true man or not. minsan kasi out of fun lang...pano sina joey de leon, jano gibbs, ogie alcasid, michael v.etc...babaw naman ng magsasabing hindi sila tunay na lalaki.
    Apr 11 2010 @ 11:27am     Reply  
  • abbee
    ROFL + FTW
    Apr 08 2010 @ 02:10pm     Reply  
  • jp
    How about "MAY GANUN?"..
    Apr 06 2010 @ 09:08am     Reply  
  • Juan
    @ elitista, walang definition ang masculinity sa may katawan. Pag bading ka, alam mo yon. Walang masama doon. Pag straight ka, alam mo yon. Secure ka doon. Paulit ulit na yang nabanggit sa mga comments dito. Bakit hindi maintindihan. Simpleng simple naman.

    Walang connection ang pag unlad ng Pilipinas sa masculinity ng tao. Twisted ang logic mo.

    May connection ang di pag unlad ng Pilipinas sa mga elitistang katulad mo. Ang yaman ng bayan ay para sa lahat hindi para sa kakaunting tao lamang.
    Apr 04 2010 @ 11:21pm     Reply  
  • senyong
    elitista ano naman kinalaman ng pag unlad ng pilipinas dito?sige nga gumawa ka sarili mong dep*n*syon ng masculinity.tignan natin binatbat mo.
    Apr 04 2010 @ 06:04pm     Reply  
  • Elitista
    Kaya hindi umuunlad ang Pilipinas. Kulong kayo sa sarili ninyong depinisyon ng "masculinity". Pathetic.
    Apr 04 2010 @ 04:56pm     Reply  
  • M
    Boracay is saturated only and ONLY when it is holy week, but the rest of the days of the year it is fairly less populated. Blame it on the cheap city folk (posers who pretend to be wealthy and has connections) who can only afford a 3 day 2 night barkada package on a 20sqm room for the rest of their lives visiting on our island.

    I can agree with your dismay of the reggae music here that is bringing injustice to the late Bob Marley and more so the defilement of Starbucks on this island we call home.

    To the rest of you, the correct name of the island across Caticlan is Boracay and not Bora.

    PS
    Benta ang Spa stint mo, makes me miss that palace near Makati ave. Maybe the next time you come here, I invite you for a drink over Ginebra and Gold Eagle
    Apr 02 2010 @ 02:29am     Reply  
  • Paz
    Another Filipino fashion designer was killed by criminals - Brian Leyva. RIP
    Apr 01 2010 @ 10:33pm     Reply  
  • malabanan
    ^uhhh..yes? duhhh!

    hence our burning love for dear marj who spews the funniest obtuse crap! and her legions of chuwariwop apologists kuno! happy valentimes hahahaha!
    Apr 01 2010 @ 07:33pm     Reply  
  • batoush
    bravo parangano! gets na gets mo ang sabi ni marj!

    @anggoons: the nerve to put me in the same category as igeramos and marj, pede ba don't judge me (no offense meant mga tita)

    @malabanan, diba family business ninyo yung magvaccuum ng crap?

    yon lang! at tigilan na ang ka dramahan dito, sa iba naman
    Apr 01 2010 @ 03:16pm     Reply  
  • Rizal
    A real man doesn't listen to silly lists.
    Mar 31 2010 @ 07:33pm     Reply  
  • Juan
    @parangano, that is exactly the point of Marj pero ang daming humusga - mga closet queens.
    Mar 31 2010 @ 01:44pm     Reply  
  • parangano
    ang tunay na lalake, hindi kailangan ng guide para sabihin sa kanya kung ano ang hindi dapat sabihin ng isang tunay na lalake.

    ang tunay na lalake, walang rules.

    hehehe.

    this thread is weird, and so are the people who comment on it. lighten up mga bro. let's pahrtay!
    Mar 31 2010 @ 01:15pm     Reply  
  • donds
    And oh, unless she is really your aunt, you don't ever call anyone "tita" -- especially if the person you are referring to has a d*ck, sexual orientation of that person notwithstanding. And even if HE insists.
    Mar 31 2010 @ 11:58am     Reply  
  • Walter
    If a guy invites you to the gym, he most certainly wants to see what you've got in the shower room.
    Mar 31 2010 @ 10:45am     Reply  
  • Walter
    If a guy invites you to the gym, he most certainly wants to see what you've got in the shower room.
    Mar 31 2010 @ 10:43am     Reply  
  • donds
    "WHATEVER", rolling "r". Ang tunay na lalake would rather say "tangnamo!". :)
    Mar 31 2010 @ 10:00am     Reply  
  • Junifer
    Okay lang naman gumamit ng spa, basta dugtungan mo ng "col" para spacol... :P now that's a new linggo amongst the brutes today :P
    Mar 31 2010 @ 09:12am     Reply  
  • donds
    Oh BTW Lourd, ang tunay na lalake, walang superfluous letters sa pangalan. Simplified. Di pwedeng Jhake, Bhryan.... hmmm how about the "U" in "Lourd". Lol. JK my man, idol!
    Mar 31 2010 @ 09:01am     Reply  
  • fanatic
    And speaking of parody, check this blog mungoconspiracy.blogspot.com
    Mar 31 2010 @ 08:48am     Reply  
  • donds
    That this has elicited a "serious" discussion is way funnier than the original list.

    Come on people, it is a PARODY. Let's loosen our ties a bit, and party sa bora!
    Mar 31 2010 @ 08:34am     Reply  
  • Marj
    I will make a sweeping generalization too: Filipinos who live in Tokyo belong to 3 groups - Japayukis, Hostos, and anak ng Japayukis. It shows huh!
    Mar 30 2010 @ 11:34pm     Reply  
  • Beat Takeshi
    Kenzo, Sartorialist, since you 2 love GQ so much, why don't you both get a room and lovingly measure out each others in-seams? Hahahahaha!
    Mar 30 2010 @ 10:57pm     Reply  
  • Kenzo
    Yeah, now that you claim to in Tokyo, as the saying goes - there goes the neighborhood. Bring your jologs mentality somewhere else but Tokyo. I am not surprised anymore why the Japanese hate immigration. They want to be "pure".
    Mar 30 2010 @ 10:36pm     Reply  
  • The Sartorialist
    GQ, April 2010, p. 62
    East Beats West: "the Italians are slick and the French are always chic. But its our friends from Japan and Korea who really bring it"
    Mar 30 2010 @ 10:34pm     Reply  
  • Beat Takeshi
    Real men don't read GQ, and don't give a flying fickyfick what Tokyo guys or any other guys for that matter are wearing, kenzo
    Mar 30 2010 @ 10:33pm     Reply  
  • Kenzo
    I meant Tokyo guys.
    Mar 30 2010 @ 10:02pm     Reply  
  • Kenzo
    tokyoboy, you are an aberration because "dapo" ka lang. The hair, the moves, the tote bags, the shoes, etc. of Tokyo gays look gay by Manila standard but they are straight guys. Did you read GQ April edition yet?
    Mar 30 2010 @ 10:01pm     Reply  
  • tokyoboy
    @marj "..you would think that the city is 90% gay by the way real men carry their tote bags.."

    I have lived in Tokyo for 4 years now.. I do not know what u are talking about.. it seems that ur idea of a real man is a LV lover hiding in his closet hahaha
    Mar 30 2010 @ 03:32pm     Reply  
  • NEBRX
    hoy rey dela cruz, san mo naman nakuha yang 85% mo?? di lahat ng lalake gaya mo *l*l! wag kang nag mamarunong sa 85% 85% mo l*ch* ka! oo, i agree, gay friendly an Pinas and may pumapatol sa bading na tunay naman na lalake, gaya mo siguro. pero para sabihing 85% ng tunay lalake pumapatol sa bading, *l*l mo! san mo nakuha yang survey na yan wag kang nag mamarunong!!
    Mar 30 2010 @ 02:34pm     Reply  
  • Ces del Rosario
    You are the one living in a vacuum when you disagree that real men are secure with their sexuality.
    Mar 30 2010 @ 10:08am     Reply  
  • malabanan
    that marj spews the funniest vacuous crap! always followed by the same chuwariwop "i agree" posters hahahah!
    Mar 30 2010 @ 07:02am     Reply  
  • Harry
    This is just sexist.
    Mar 30 2010 @ 06:40am     Reply  
  • i love this!
    GossipGirl! haahahahha!
    Mar 30 2010 @ 05:48am     Reply  
  • Charito
    Tumpak si Marj.

    A real man will not hesitate to use any words or phrases because there is not an iota of insecurity in his system.

    Kung pumapatol man siya sa bading (60% daw ng straight sa Philippines), iyon ay dala ng pangangailangan like pera, libog, or care (charing!).
    Mar 29 2010 @ 10:38pm     Reply  
  • karloboy
    I think SPA is somehow acceptable especially if it's meant to be SPAKOL, isn't it?
    Mar 29 2010 @ 09:12pm     Reply  
  • nico
    hehehe... can i add, Gosh!
    Mar 29 2010 @ 08:20pm     Reply  
  • maan
    how about "brah" as in wat's sup brah? hahahahaha
    Mar 29 2010 @ 07:22pm     Reply  
  • AngGoons
    ..Ang tunay na lalaki o real men kay Lourd ay yung mga Action Star at Goons nuong ng 1980's.

    1. ONE MARGARITA, PLEASE - 80's actions star - San Miguel Pale Pilsen at hinde San Mig Light!!!
    2. WORKOUT TAYO, DUDE - walang gym-gym nuon, ang totoong lalake walang abs. Ex. FPJ, Erap, Daboy, Baldo Maro.
    3.I’M ON A DIET - 80's action star, Lechon, Cripsy Pata, Pansit!!!!
    4. “LET’S PARTY!”— 80's actions star, Beerhouse ka-table ang bagong starlet!!!
    5. “ROBERT PATTINSON”— John Regala!!!
    Mar 29 2010 @ 04:23pm     Reply  
  • EBJAV
    tama naman si marje.. ang lalake, bottomline, walang pakialam kasi in the end, alam naman niya ang kanyang sexuality.

    wag lang nga papatol sa bading.

    o ano, party tayo sa bora guys?
    Mar 29 2010 @ 03:29pm     Reply  
  • neg
    ang tunay na lalake hindi gumagamit ng text shortcuts like, poh, pow, powz, ayt, gawa u, ingat u, enkyu, etc..
    Mar 29 2010 @ 03:23pm     Reply  
  • AngGoons
    ...paki sali na rin lahat ng words na pinost ni Marj, batoush and igeramos.
    Mar 29 2010 @ 02:37pm     Reply  
  • che
    Lourd, me kulang sa list...

    "GLEE"

    and its self explanatory too..
    Mar 29 2010 @ 02:25pm     Reply  
  • Marj
    Thanks Batoush. Apparently, Turko Turero (how nasty) has not heard about the "continuum". I wonder at what level does he belong. Remember, those in denial are the worst homophobics.

    You give Yilmaz a bad name. I don't think the Turkish Embassy will let this one pass. Can I smell jihad?
    Mar 29 2010 @ 01:17pm     Reply  
  • batoush
    @turko turero, pangalan ng macho dancer yan ha! saan ka ba nagbobooking at kay marj ka lang nagpromise.
    i agree with marj, you cannot stop real men for being real!
    think about it, all of us (boy or girl) have that gay gene in us. you just don't act on it.
    so turko, papatoro na rin ako sa yo, magcondom ka lang
    Mar 29 2010 @ 11:16am     Reply  
  • Turko Turero
    F*CK YOU! Marj!
    Mar 29 2010 @ 10:47am     Reply  
  • Marj
    As far as I am concerned, real men cannot be boxed in. Real men will say what they want to say, dress the way they want to dress, and attend social events (Elton John concert?) without any hesitation if it's a gay or straight affair. Real men are secure about their sexuality no matter what.

    In fashionable Tokyo, you would think that the city is 90% gay by the way real men carry their tote bags. THAT to me is more REAL!
    Mar 28 2010 @ 01:48pm     Reply  
  • hank moody
    I dunno about Orocan. That\'s not furniture any self-respecting man should have in his pad--cave or otherwise!
    Mar 28 2010 @ 11:37am     Reply  
  • teddy y.m.
    i can suffer spa and diet coke but anyone i hear say "lets party in bora" i will murder
    Mar 28 2010 @ 03:45am     Reply  
  • igeramos
    real men don't order fois gras or quiche lorraine
    Mar 28 2010 @ 12:48am     Reply  
  • alpha chino
    kalurkey ka lourd! ikaw na ang bonggang bonggang gaylourd sa buong universe. chos!
    Mar 27 2010 @ 10:19pm     Reply  
  • Anak ni Shirley
    TEH.

    ANG TUNAY NA LALAKE AY HINDI NAGSASABI NG TEH.
    Mar 27 2010 @ 07:36pm     Reply  
  • Thomas
    1. You go, girl.

    2. Me Ganun?

    3. Ayluveet!

    4. SPF something.

    5. Zara Sale!
    Mar 27 2010 @ 06:10pm     Reply  
  • Bogart
    Lourd,

    Remember NORMAN MAILER's Quip? TOUGH GUYS DON"T DANCE!
    Mar 27 2010 @ 01:35pm     Reply  
  • Balasubas
    Pare Pa KISS nga...
    Mar 27 2010 @ 12:27pm     Reply  
  • MAYO
    hahahahahaha! everything about this made me laugh which is true..if you guys do say these..OMG soooooo gay!
    Mar 27 2010 @ 09:39am     Reply  
  • Rey de la Cruz
    Wala yang words words na yan sa mga so-called tunay na lalaki.

    85% ng tunay na lalaki sa Philippines bumibigay sa mga bading. Gay friendly talaga ang Philippines.

    Example ng mga tunay na tunay na lalaki na dumaan sa bading: James Yap (Allan K), Cesar Montano (Tito R), Lito Lapid (Jesse Chua), Albert Martinez (Dr. B), etc. etc. etc.
    Mar 27 2010 @ 09:24am     Reply  
  • Twinkie
    Because, in the end, words are not important, it is who these REAL men go to bed with.

    Yes, they are straight. Straight to bed.

    Tama ka Tita Aida. Only in the Philippines. Kaya ang lakas ng tourism natin ngayon because of gay balikbayans.
    Mar 27 2010 @ 09:10am     Reply  
  • batoush
    hay naku nena! just give it some time and these words will be part of a man\'s everyday lingo. these words and their meaning tend to evolve and creep in the daily vocabulary of the regular joe.
    Mar 27 2010 @ 08:56am     Reply  
  • cherry blossom
    how about men na mahilig sa antique?
    Mar 27 2010 @ 08:14am     Reply  
  • Tita Aida
    Oo na. Yan ang mga terms na hindi ginagamit ng tunay na lalaki.

    Pero, sa totoo lang, only in the Phlippines and Mexico na ang mga tunay na lalaki (NOT male prostitutes) ay pumapatol sa bading. This will never happen in the US or Europe.
    Mar 27 2010 @ 12:57am     Reply  
  • uberVU - social comments
    Social comments and analytics for this post...

    This post was mentioned on Twitter by Spotdotph: Lourd de Veyra: Real men don't say "Robert Pattinson" + more http://bit.ly/dmrQPS...
    Mar 27 2010 @ 12:47am     Reply  
  • dick joaquin
    e paano yung expression na "gaga." narinig ko minsan ginagamit mo yun e. tapos lalake kausap mo.
    Mar 26 2010 @ 11:48pm     Reply  
  • Kerokeroppi
    If I may add, a true man will never, ever say echusera or it's expanded version, echuserang froggy frog.

    Digs ba, pareh?
    Mar 26 2010 @ 11:39pm     Reply  
  • Tita Aida
    In fairness...
    Mar 26 2010 @ 10:05pm     Reply  
  • arleen
    i want to add babush!
    Mar 26 2010 @ 09:21pm     Reply  
  • tere
    i like the "let's party" entry...hahaha...keep on blogging lourd...your writing style never fails to amuse me...
    Mar 26 2010 @ 08:30pm     Reply  
1 to 20 of 129