Forget Barry White and Marvin Gaye. Not only are they tired punchlines for tongue-in-cheek erotic Hollywood moments. They’re also culturally inappropriate—universal language, my ass. Here's something closer to roots, something closer to what they do back home. Kids, if you’re not familiar with some of these tunes, go ask your folks. If you’re below 25, there’s a distinct possibility that you might have been, uh, assembled to their rhythms.    

Former President Ferdinand Marcos’s choice of soundtrack to bedroom boom-boom was the Ilocano folk ditty "Pamulinawen." If you were a UP student during Martial Law, you’d know he moaned it like a cow in that controversial Dovie Beams tape—and just the mere memory of that ghastly sound is enough to deflate anyone’s erection. But if you were dictator, you could actually do anything.   

Following are some songs–arranged in no particular order–deemed fit for everyone’s favorite activity. Basis for selection could include both lyrical content and aural inducement value, but ultimately the synergy of both. They are from an assortment of genres, but notice the majority of them are from the ’70s, which might say something about how debauched that decade was. Of course, it goes without saying that this list is purely subjective— which may or may not be the result of personal experimentation. Of course, I could be wrong, but hey—whatever melts your butter, right?


ISANG LINGGONG PAG-IBIG (Imelda Papin)–  Some of the heaviest lyrics ever written in the history of Filipino pop music. No other song has achieved the feat of detailing the progression of a week-long romantic affair. “Lunes… nang tayo’y magkakilala..” goes the immortal first line. It’s about a whirlwind romance—temporary but passionate. Of course, seven days, man. What do you do in seven days? Eat ice cream and watch movies?

YUGYUGAN NA (The Advisors-covered by P.O.T)—Funk classic originally by an obscure ‘70s band called The Advisors. Of course, anything funky instantly becomes a candidate for this category, but this particular track packs the slapped basslines and the wah-wah scratches worthy of any ‘70s John Holmes classic. Besides, the word ‘Yugyog’ sort of has that wicked linguistic resonance. When Karl Roy sings “Sige na pipowl, let’s get on down/ sige na, sige na, sige, sige naah” it becomes an exhortation to a massive soul train. Cross reference: the final orgy scene of Taboo 2.