"This tower, patched unevenly with black ivy, arose like a mutilated finger from among the fists of knuckled masonry and pointed blasphemously at heaven." This is off the opening page of Titus Groan by Mervyn Peake, considered the third great English fantasy novelist of the century along with Tolkien and T.H. White. I wrote this passage down before tossing the book into the black garbage bag where it joins the company of other books that I had deemed beyond repair: impossibly warped, soaked, ripped, shredded pages, cracked spines, books with covers hopelessly stuck to each other like a teenager's secret copy of Penthouse. There were others that looked perfectly salvageable except for the supremely vile odor. And there are those that you couldn't even touch anymore because they're covered in all sorts of weird gooey stuff. The bad part: I had only been four pages into Titus Groan.
Two days after the flood, on the wall of my house where the floodwater level left its ugly mark I wrote, "September 26, 2009." Partly to remind myself of the futility of material accumulation. But there are sights that could make grown nerds cry.
There's a saying that a man only needs nine books in his life. I am not that man. I am not one of those people who can commit to a monogamous relationship with their books.
Italo Calvino, in If On A Winter's Night a Traveler (my copy I stole from my ex-boss Teddy Boy Locsin), famously categorized books as, to name a few: the Books You've Been Planning to Read for Ages, the Books That If You Had More Than One Life You Would Certainly Also Read Unfortunately Your Days Are Numbered, Books That's Everybody's Read So It's As If You Had Read Them, Too, Books You Could Put Aside Maybe To Read This Summer.
After the long, grueling days of cleaning up after September 26, I came up with my own: Books That Are Too Important To Throw Away So You Hold On To Them Even If They Smell Like Shit, Books That You Never Even Thought You Owned, Books You Hail As Masterpieces But Can't Even Remember A Single Passage, Books That Have Water Lilies Between Pages How The Hell Did They Get There?, Books So Unbelievably Moldy They Should Be Donated To A Bio Lab, and Books So Filthy You Get Sick Just By Looking At Them.
Lourd, I'm so sorry for your loss. My books say they're grieving for your lost friends too. It's really really hard to find great titles in bargain shops everywhere. Sometimes I spend hours in Book Sale without buying anything, just scouring all the shelves making sure some good book is not there for me to miss. Again, I'm sorry all your effort spent building your collection has gone to waste. Maybe you need to write your own book now, so you can buy more books. And then we buy your book, like it's Tolstoy or something.
les was inconsolable when we woke up one day a long time ago to find our records soaked by baha. kids and i cleaned them up the best we could while he brooded in a corner. i'm glad i didn't get to see the street in front of bobby chabet's house in san juan carpeted by a stash that i imagine looked like yours. some, sitting i suppose on the upper shelves, were bundled and sent my way including a first edition paperback copy of yellow submarine (peso price: 5.70; cover blurb: 128 glorious full-color pages; subtitle: nothing is real).
mahirap talaga na bigla nalang nawala ang iyong mga kinoleksyon sa loob ng mahabang taon, lalu na kung ito yung mga naging dahilan kung bakit ganito?,ganyan? etc..ang mga naging pananaw mo sa buhay.. ang tanong kelan kb maglalabas sa merkado ng mga sinulat mu IDOL lourd de veyra?..
Lourd, as a fellow bibliophile, I weep for your loss. As I read your blog, I am crying pigeons and pterodactyls. Maybe we should just donate our books to the National Library or any place that is safe for them to survive the elements.
My books and I condole with you. I know how you feel. I've learned this lesson years ago, when my an original Moby Dick (ironic you might say) drowned in a similar circumstance. These days, I still read and reread my books, smell them, and feel the pages...thinking that one day we will separate for good. To lessen the pain, you must lessen that "attachment." Nothing good ever lasts.
Cheer up Lourd, you are not alone. I also lost my stash of books, magazines, paperbacks, comic books, LPs,( CDs & DVDS wasn't born yet)even my THOMASIAN YEARBOOK, including signed fotos inside of my co-graduates, Varsitarian etc.during the flood in the late 60s in San Francisco del Monte. I accumulated them for years of scouring ,Quiapo, Escolta, Rizal Avenue, Malate, Binondo, Ermita, bookstores in Legaspi, Sorsogon, the black market in Subic & Clark etc. But you can begin again, it's not too late. Kareem Abdul Jabbar, lost all his collections of rare Jazz & Blues LPs, when his house burned down in LA, when he was still playing for the Lakers. His friends & fans started giving him LPs that he was able to reconstruct his collection again...
As always, a good read from you.
Teared up when you wrote you lost all your Vonnegut. Had a hard time getting copies here, and I can feel your frustration. Never lose your faith; a garage sale (or Booksale) will always be there for you.
A brilliant article, as always. I am a fellow book lover, and your ruminations on eventually reaching a point where one can distill one's complete intellectual and literary knowledge into a few tomes is something to think about.
My makeshift bookshelf mourns with you.
Reading the comments and thought it interesting how people refer to the books we accumulate as collections, as if its art or coins or stamps. As if we buy them and imagine what they would look like on our shelves, beside, say a bust of a Buddha. Wala lang. The Woody Allen at home, sa'yo na.
Sorry to hear that! I would be beyond depressed if it happens to me! I also have books that are 1st edition and some rare, so I feel yah!!! Love your blogs, Lourd!
Two words. Bad trip. My heart goes out to you, man. We are what we read. I actually printed out your entry and shared/taught it to my class. They particularly loved the book categories.
tragiC...sorry for ur loss...but like most people say, always look on the brighter side (whatever that means..)......haaay btw, why is it so hard to find a copy of ur "Subterranean Thought Parade"?...wala na ba talagang stock nun?..haaay this is my lowest point..most tragic!..im willing to pay double for even a used copy of this book.LOL
Dude, I totally commiserate. All my books, magazines and comics I left in Provident Village at my folks' house when I got married and moved out. What survived unscathed, like a cosmic joke, was about 5 years' worth of MAXIM UK and US.
What breaks my heart is that the love letters of my mom and dad which I've kept all these years and my baptismal gown were not spared. My book collection suffered the same fate. Initially I thought of drying them up one by one, as in hanging them in the clothes line, but it just wouldn't work. They ended up crumpled and moldy. The rest of the books I was able to save are now in my office, which makes my office look like a bodega. My old law books are displayed in the shelves, also in the office.
buti na lang 'di ako mahilig magbasa ng libro. pero marami ako koleksyon. kung mabaha sila. okey lang. e di ko nga binabasa e. pa-impress lang ba.
@tvj good for you man!
tir, i can't imagine really. it's the years, the endless nights of reading gone down the drain. plus the story behind each purchase...but you still have the stories...yes, you have the stories.
Its ok kumpare as long as maluwag ang supply ng ishi, everything will be alright... : )