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New Moon is highest-grossing movie on opening day + other lowlights

Andrew Paredes | Published: Nov 23, 2009 - 11:20am


8.       OPRAH WINFREY ANNOUNCES END OF DAILY TALK SHOW IN SEPTEMBER 2011. I'm sure Tom Cruise will find other talk-show couches to jump on…but who'll tell us what to read now?



9.       JOHNNY DEPP JOINS GEORGE CLOONEY AND BRAD PITT AS TWO-TIME PEOPLE MAGAZINE "SEXIEST MAN ALIVE." Playing those androgynous pirates with questionable hygiene can sure get you noticed at singles bars.


10.       62-YEAR-OLD HILLARY CLINTON TELLS U.S. VOGUE THAT 42-YEAR-OLD BRITISH FOREIGN MINISTER DAVID MILIBAND IS "VITAL, VIBRANT" AND "SO YOUNG!"MILLIBAND CALLS CLINTON "DELIGHTFUL" AND "A TEASE." When Clinton and Miliband vowed to renew and strengthen the "special relationship" between the U.S. and UK, I'm not sure this is what they meant.

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  • andrew Nov 24 2009 @ 08:06pm Report Abuse
    Psst Vomitous! I'll let you in on a secret. Grown women have hormones and urges too. In fact, scientific studies have revealed that women hit their sexual peak in their late-30s to 40s. So while tweeners moon over Robbie Patz with romantic innocence, the woman who draws up your paycheck down in Accounting might be getting hot flashes over that dish Taylor Lautner. Who says this column isn't educational?
  • vomitous Nov 24 2009 @ 07:34am Report Abuse
    New Moon? Twilight? i don't get it. pre-teens, sure. But grown, adult women? Why?!??
  • gecko Nov 23 2009 @ 04:44pm Report Abuse
    Yeah! The best lowlight list I read so far! Andrew wins the Internetz!!!11!!1
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