6. AVATAR BREAKS TITANIC'S RECORD AS HIGHEST GROSSING MOVIE OF ALL TIME. Blue people haven't been this famous since the Blue Man Group.
7. RUMOR OF IMPENDING SPLIT BESIEGES BRANGELINA AGAIN. Memo to mouth-breathers everywhere: Just because you wish it, doesn't make it true.
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8. PHILIPPINE CHAPTER OF PETA PROTESTS MALABON RODEO. Hey, PETA, where were you when people started wearing Crocs?
9. ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER CANCELS TRIP TO THE PHILIPPINES. Rejected by someone I wasn't interested in. I hate it when that happens.
10. APPLE'S NEW iPAD LAUNCHES HOST OF NAME JOKES. I'm sure Steve Jobs is now wishing that he had hired at least one woman to be a top executive at Apple.
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