1. SEMI-RETIRED ACTRESS ALMA MORENO, 51, ENGAGES IN A DANCE SHOWDOWN AGAINST DAUGHTER WYNWYN MARQUEZ, 18, IN GMA-7's PARTY PILIPINAS. There's nostalgia--and there's "How much do we have to pay you so you won't embarrass yourself?"
2. AMERICA ONLINE NEWS ARTICLE'S RACY TITLE CAUSES WORLDWIDE LAUGHTER--BUT THE PLIGHT OF ABUSED ROOSTERS IS FORGOTTEN. It looks like those cocks will keep on kicking their balls.
3. FORMER SEXY SINGER MYSTICA--KNOWN FOR HER SPLITS AND PROVOCATIVE ANTICS--IS NOW A MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKER. If she does splits while dishing out advice, we're willing to stop telling people she drank agua oxinada to get that hair color.
4. TO PROMOTE PARASAILING, A LEISURE FIRM IN SOUTHERN RUSSIA SHOWS A DONKEY DOING IT. Sorry, PETA, we couldn't help but laugh our asses off...so to speak.
5. JOEY MARQUEZ REVIVES HIS SHOWBIZ CAREER VIA KAYA NG POWERS, A SITCOM WHOSE PREMISE IS SOMEWHAT SIMILAR TO THE INCREDIBLES'. Er, what's there to revive? (Please, don't say, "His relationship with Kris Aquino.")
