1. CONGRESSMAN RONALD SINGSON GRANTED BAIL BY HONG KONG COURT AFTER THE 26.1 GRAMS OF COCAINE IN HIS POSSESSION WAS FOUND TO HAVE ONLY A 6.7-GRAM PURITY. There comes a time when you thank your drug dealer for selling substandard cocaine.
2. FORMER PRESIDENT JOSEPH "ERAP" ESTRADA RUSHED TO THE HOSPITAL DUE TO NOSEBLEED. Rumor has it that he was trying to read Twilight.
3. MANILA ZOO LAUNCHES CONTEST TO NAME "UNINTENTIONALLY BRED" HEBRA (HALF HORSE, HALF ZEBRA). Studies show that constant exposure to the stench of animal droppings lead to brain damage.
4. JAMES YAP FINALLY TALKS ABOUT HIS SPLIT FROM KRIS AQUINO, HIS CAMP REVEALS THE COUPLE WERE ACTUALLY MARRIED TWICE. If--as writer Ambrose Bierce said--"love is temporary insanity curable by marriage" then James Yap is 200 percent cured.
5. MARIEL RODRIGUEZ GOES ON INDEFINITE LEAVE, FOLLOWS ROBIN PADILLA TO INDIA. Memo to perfume companies: Get Robin Padilla and bottle up his pheromones or something.
