Mel Tiancgo says "Major major" at 2:46

What is the pleasure to be derived from uttering those two words? Granted, the 'm' and 'j' sounds seem to roll naturally off our tongues. But then again, we ask: why do some things click, stick, and get discarded? Why do some become voted "Word of the Year?"The answer to that last question involves the necessity of technology. The last few nominated entries for Word of the Year, a contest sponsored by the Saligan ng Wikang Filipino, are terms inevitably born of contemporary communications technology: "lo-batt,""miskol,""jejemon," etc.

There are phrases that stick to our collective attention like dog crap to a shoe: "I can feel it...mwah!"'Wag kayong aalis, babalik kami,'"Ano ba 'yan," "O!.. Ha?!" "Take it! Take it!"" Laban o bawi?" "Deal or no deal," "Game ka na ba?"And the latest, "Meh ganon?" which has proven to be an infinite monster in this day and age when everything demands a soundtrack and a TV show. Thank God for the "crisis" the mainstream film industry is stuck in at the moment. I can only imagine Regal or Viva or Octo Arts racing for the copyright to title the next the Andrew E.-Janno Gibs/ Redford White-Babalu blockbuster. Major Major: The Movie anyone? Oh wait. Talk has it that there is a forthcoming Star Cinema comedy starring Ai Ai delas Alas with a title containing the annoying phrase. But such is the tragic ephemerality of language. Maybe the bright boys and gals of the movie industry should think about whether or not "major major" would still be as cute and catchy by the time of the film's release.

"Major major" is so insanely prehensile, so definitive of a specific time in popular consciousness that the frequency of its usage expedites its datedness. True, this is the age of sound bites, when everything--from hair products to presidential candidates--can be summed up by catchphrases and slogans. But Pinoy pop culture is such that when something clicks, rest assured it will be exploited to death. The Latin term "ad nauseam"(to a sickening extent) seems to have been invented for us. In the meantime, let's get this shit done and over with, exorcise this ghastly expression from our system with the deadest, blackest, of finalities. So once more, again, to repeat, for the second time around, with feeling: major major, major major, major major, major major, major major, major major, major major, major major, major major, major major, major major, major major, major major, major major, major major, major major, major major.

This is a Crazy Planets is available in newsstands, bookstores and supermarkets nationwide for only P195. For more information, click here.

Artwork by Warren Espejo.