1. FAKE MARTIAL LAW HUMAN RIGHTS VICTIMS ARRESTED. Default defense for small-time crooks: "Wala na kasing makain yung [insert number here] kong anak." (For big-time crooks: "You can't interrogate or arrest me due to my health problems.)
2. WOMAN GIVES BIRTH AT NAIA TERMINAL 3. Does this mean that the baby has a lifetime privilege to frolic with the birds, bees, and snakes plaguing that airport?