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(SPOT.ph) With all the psychics making predictions about what's going to happen this year, we thought we'd come up with some predictions of our own. Since we can't see the future, this list is 50 percent politically incorrect and 50 percent wishful thinking. Though we hardly know where one ends and the other begins. So, don't take this nutty Top 10 list seriously. We do hope it makes you laugh in the middle of another surreal-yet-fun day in our delightfully wacky country. Don't say we didn't warn you. (And, oh, references to actual people, places, and events are all done in the spirit of spoofing.)

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What's your favorite Atty. Ferdinand Topacio moment?

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10. Atty. Ferdinand Topacio proposes a new Department of Tourism (DOT) slogan. Former First Gentleman Mike Arroyo's Adolf Hitler-loving lawyer feels for the DOT, who is now fielding "copycat potshots" for its "It's more fun in the Philippines" slogan. Topacio, who had declared, " I'm willing to do the worst. Ipatatanggal ko ang itlog ko 'pag di bumalik ang mga Arroyo (I'll have one of my balls removed if the Arroyos don't return [to the country])," comes up with an edgy tagline that will make the Philippines stand out. He calls a press conference and unveils a large poster that reads: "Tanggalin n'yo ang itlog ko if it's not more fun in the Philippines." Topacio also offers to "revamp" the colorful banig logo by suggesting that Hitler's favorite symbol be superimposed over the graphic representation of the archipelago.

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Will the MMDA finally come up with a solution to all their traffic woes?

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9. The Metropolitan Manila Development Authority (MMDA) proposes a new way to instill discipline in pedestrians and motorists, while solving informal settlers' housing woes. The MMDA will declare that any motorist who hits a jaywalker will be paid P150,000 in cash, no questions asked. Within 24 hours of implementing the said law, there will be no more jaywalkers in Metro Manila. On the other hand, drivers who are caught violating traffic laws and proven guilty beyond reasonable doubt will have their vehicles impounded and licenses revoked forever. The seized vehicles will be given to the poor in lieu of the Conditional Cash Transfer allotment. This way, informal settlers can live in "mobile homes"� instead of rat-infested, fire-prone shacks. However, since the MMDA is merciful, remorseful vehicle owners are given the chance to redeem their vehicles and licenses if they successfully complete The Jaywalking Challenge on Commonwealth Avenue. They have to cross the "killer highway" while there are at least 100 vehicles are speeding through it. If they live through the test, they can have their vehicles and licenses back. The problem is, they will most likely fail in this endeavor as motorists will surely be hell-bent on getting the reward for hitting jaywalkers.