1. CHARICE PEMPENGCO'S MOM RAQUEL MAKES LIKE A DEBUTANTE—18 ROSES AND ALL—ON HER 40TH BIRTHDAY. As long as you don't go to the plastic surgeon to have your face tightened to the point where we can bounce coins off it, you can go right ahead and pretend you're still 18.
2. GASOLINE TANKER HITS FOUR CABS ON COMMONWEALTH AVENUE A.K.A. "THE KILLER HIGHWAY." New rule: If it's not No. 1 on the list of the world's deadliest highways, then it ain't that bad.
3. FORMER FIRST GENTLEMAN MIKE ARROYO PERSONALLY SUBMITS TO THE OFFICE OF THE OMBUDSMAN HIS COUNTERAFFIDAVIT ON THE PNP CHOPPER SCAM CASE. Because "counteraffidavit" is such a boring name, here's our proposed title: "It's Just One of My Hobbies, People!"
4. FORMER MAID ANAMAE LIVRANDO (DUBBED "POISON IVY" FOR POISONING HER EMPLOYERS BEFORE ROBBING THEM) BACK IN POLICE CUSTODY AFTER ESCAPING FROM A CORRECTIONAL FACILITY. Imagine what she could do if she were President.
5. ANOTHER SHABU LABORATORY RAID MAKES IT TO THE NEWS. When they said "It's more fun in the Philippines," they certainly didn't mean you can go right ahead and set up a methamphetamine lab.
