6. COLORED CHICKS A HIT WITH KIDS, BUT NOT WITH ANIMAL RIGHTS GROUPS. Do any of these abused chicks live to be full-grown chickens?

7. WEEKS AFTER FALSE SIGHTING OF HIM LOUNGING BY THE PEN'S POOL, ED NORTON FINALLY ARRIVES IN MANILA. The Bourne Legacy has definitely given the Pinoy hoax industry a big boost.

8. SEN. LITO LAPID SIGNS UP FOR TELESERYE AS WIFE GETS ARRESTED IN THE U.S. FOR SMUGGLING $50,000. We know which teleserye is going to have him in tears.

9. AFTER PRESIDENTIAL POLITICAL ADVISER RONALD LLAMAS IS SEEN BUYING PIRATED DVDS, SOME SAY HE SHOULD RESIGN. As long as he wasn't buying pirated copies of Segunda Mano, then he's OK. (If they didn't fire him for the gun incident, do you think they'll fire him for his pirated DVD shopping spree?)

10. HAZEL JONES, A UK WOMAN WHO HAS TWO VAGINAS BECOMES A PSEUDO-CELEBRITY, CLAIMS SHE'S SHOWN OFF HER "THING/S" IN SEX CLUBS. James Bond author Ian Fleming named one of his female characters Pussy Galore—it's sad he's no longer around to meet Hazel Jones.

Art by Warren Espejo

Image credits: Images used in the artwork are from screenshots of TV network news clips, except for Lito and Marissa Lapid (PEP.ph)