Home » News+Features » Tiger Woods has two mistresses, Susan Boyle outsells Lady Gaga

Tiger Woods has two mistresses, Susan Boyle outsells Lady Gaga

Andrew Paredes | Published: Dec 7, 2009 - 8:00am

1. AMPATUAN CANNOT SLEEP IN NBI CELL, AFRAID OF GHOSTS. With all those massacre victims, that's got to be one crowded cell.

2. PACMAN STRIPPED OF GUSI PEACE PRIZE FOR BEING A NO-SHOW. The Gusi Peace Prize sounds like one of those raffle prizes at office Christmas parties–you can't win one unless you're around.


3. EBDANE BACKS OUT OF PRESIDENTIAL RACE, CITES LACK OF MACHINERY. How about a lack of credibility, buster?

4. GLORIA DECIDES TO RUN FOR CONGRESS. Gloria intends to stay on her seat of power the way I sit on the toilet when I get the latest issue of Vanity Fair.

5. 99 CANDIDATES FILE CERTIFICATES OF CANDIDACY FOR PRESIDENT. It's a good thing we're an overpopulated country. If we were New Zealand, everybody would be running for President and only sheep would be voting.


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  • xcx Dec 09 2009 @ 02:33am Report Abuse
    gordon and bayani is a dream team! but the problem is, we have to many aspirants who wants to be the head honchos! i hope it will not turn out like 1998 where all the votes were divided among the "good/educated" candidates which left us to have comedic president.
  • hitsugaya Dec 08 2009 @ 07:56pm Report Abuse
    simple lesson from an extraordinary person:
    ..cheat but don't crash your car
  • MOMMY Dec 08 2009 @ 08:19am Report Abuse
    Tiger apologized to his family and the public for is transgressions. Manny : "Matalik lang kaming magkaibigan"
  • Heidi Klum Dec 08 2009 @ 07:08am Report Abuse
    There is no excuse for cheating, and there is no excuse for staying with a cheating husband! Men cheat because women let them.
  • gecko Dec 08 2009 @ 12:03am Report Abuse
    Lioness, do you mean husbands can cheat if their wives are not pretty?
  • Lioness Dec 07 2009 @ 10:24am Report Abuse
    TIGER, HOW COULD YOU! Your wife is pretty naman noh!
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