Chief Justice Renato Corona’s walk-out, Lady Gaga trumps haters + more lowlights

Plus, Carlos Celdran vs. Toni Gonzaga, Jessica Sanchez’s loss, & more nutty tales.

 

 

1. DESPITE THE FISHING BAN, CHINESE FISHERMEN KEEP ON DOING THEIR THING AT THE SCARBOROUGH SHOAL. Maybe they think the fishing ban is pirated.

 

 

2. JOE JONAS OF THE JONAS BROTHERS IS IN THE PHILIPPINES TO ENDORSE A LOCAL CLOTHING BRAND. Too bad Ian Somerhalder got here first. (When the hotness bar is raised so high, it’s hard to top it.)

 

 

3. RESIDENTS OF A BARANGAY IN BATAAN SUFFER FROM FOOD POISONING AFTER EATING "DIRTY ICE CREAM." There are times when you don’t want the food to live up to its name.

 

 

4. SENATOR KOKO PIMENTEL REVEALS THAT HE’S SEPARATED FROM HIS WIFE OF 12 YEARS, JEWEL MAY LOBATON. Somebody please write a happy ending for this man.

 

 

5. LADY GAGA DEFIES PROTESTS LAUNCHED BY FILIPINO RELIGIOUS GROUPS WHO TAGGED HER AS "SATANIC." You can’t win against a woman who’d dare to wear a "meat dress."

6. AFTER HIS THREE-HOUR TESTIMONY/SPEECH, CHIEF JUSTICE RENATO CORONA WALKS OUT OF THE IMPEACHMENT TRIAL. Did he get sick of listening to his own voice?

 

 

7. JESSICA SANCHEZ LOSES TO PHILLIP PHILLIPS IN AMERICAN IDOL. It’s better to be Jennifer Hudson than Kris Allen.

 

 

8. P-NOY SLAMS CHIEF JUSTICE CORONA’S THREE-HOUR SPIEL. Just so you know, this passive-agressive pa-cute stance of yours has never been amusing.

 

 

9. CARLOS CELDRAN CRITICIZES TONI GONZAGA’S ANTI-LADY GAGA ARGUMENTS. One of them should be told: Don’t get into a battle of wits with an unarmed person. (You’ll win but you’ll only feel dirty afterwards.)

 

 

10. TWO COPS ARE TAGGED AS THE PRIME SUSPECTS IN THE JANUARY 2011 MAKATI BUS BOMBING. Gee, we feel so much safer now.

 

Art by Warren Espejo

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