Winners & Losers of the Week: Jhong Hilario, Charice Pempengco + others

We list those who had us cheering and who had us cringing.

 

(SPOT.ph) We list the personalities who experienced highs and lows this week. Admittedly, not all the winners may be ecstatic and not all the losers may be devastated. Life is complicated, folks. Remember: Don’t take everything literally and make sure to read between the lines...if you can find them. It’s up to you to guess when we mean what we say or when we’re putting on the snark. It keeps things interesting.

 

 

WINNER: Gwyneth Paltrow , for being No. 1 on Star magazine’s list of "Top 20 Most Hated Celebrities." (People can’t take it when you have too much self-esteem...but we will always love you for using Datu Puti.)

 

 

WINNERS: Binibining Pilipinas 2013 winners, for snagging the much-coveted crowns. (Go get us some world peace, ladies!)

 

 

WINNER: Angeline Quinto , for admitting that she’s set to undergo some cosmetic procedures, which includes a nose job. (In a business where you’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t, we praise anyone who doesn’t give a damn. But didn’t anyone tell this girl that there’s nothing wrong with her face?)

 

 

WINNER: Dr. Vicki Belo, for getting tapped to do Angeline Quinto’s go-under-the-knife makeover. (Beauty is in the eye of a plastic surgeon.)

 

 

WINNER: Jhong Hilario, for sharing a "selfie" that out-selfied all the other selfies on Instagram. (Thank God, it was just the tip of the...er...iceberg.)

 

LOSER: Kris Aquino, for being back in showbiz. (So much for a grand exit, eh?)

 

 

LOSER: COMELEC Chairman Sixto Brillantes, for nearly losing his sanity in preparing for the May polls. (We can’t blame him for thinking about resigning.)

 

 

LOSERS: Raymart Santiago, for claiming that he and his family are going through a rough patch. (Why don’t you just go to the airport and let off some steam?)

 

 

LOSER: Women, for being assaulted with reports such as this one. (It’s all about Kylie Padilla’s "first rape scene." Is that anything to be excited about? It doesn’t help that the showbiz news spiel had to be delivered in that cheerful tone and Padilla was then shown smiling. Rape-even fictional rape-is not something that should be glorified or taken lightly.)

 

 

Screenshot of photo posted on FashionPulis.com

LOSER: Charice Pempengco , for her new look. (Sino ang gumawa nito sa ’yo, Charice? Papatayin namin sila! You’re making it too easy for your haters.)

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Art by Warren Espejo, with photos from PEP.ph and screenshots from Biography.com, TV shows, and news clips. Screenshot of Charice Pempengco’s "new look" photo from FashionPulis.com.

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