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Hot On Spot: A Love Letter to Nancy Binay
Here’s a missive that may or not make the Senate hopeful laugh.
By: Alex Evangelista  |   Published on: Apr 24, 2013 - 8:30am

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Dear Nancy,

 

First of all, let me tell you that you're not black. You're actually very dark brown with a grayish tinge. You don't use bronzer, do you? Why don't you try some? Still, it's really great that you haven't gone nuts over whitening products like so many others who wish to be white. I tried papaya soap myself, but only on my elbows, knees, and singit. Maybe you should do the same. I believe that some spots on your body really need to be lighternot kabuki or SM-salesladies'-face white but just light enough so people don't think you've recently emerged from the sewer.

 

But enough of this talk about whitening and gray areas.

 

I was really disturbed when so many people made you lait for being a personal assistant to your mommy when she was Makati mayor from 1998 to 2001 and your daddy when he became the country's Vice President in 2010. What's wrong with that? At least, you didn't go out and make a nuisance of yourself in the job market after you graduated with your Tourism degree from UP in 1997. There's no need to compete for jobs with other people who may need it more. Keeping it in the family is also Earth-friendly. Your mommy and daddy don't have to waste so much energy training you to adapt to their working styles.

 

Your bio says you quit working for your mommy when you got married. There's a woman named Domini Torrevillas, who writes for The Philippine Star, who seems to be your fan. She wrote in her column's January 31, 2013 entry, "Who is Nancy Binay?," that "Nancy and 'Pito' Angeles look so alike they’re mistaken for siblings." She also revealed the charming story about you not having any maid or yaya when you were a newlywed. You've truly learned well from your daddy, who showed everybody that he's still got masa soul by being filmed eating rice and sardines with his hands. Maybe you should get filmed doing the laundry as well. It's a smart move that will definitely warm so many voters' hearts. Because, really, we should all just use our hearts to decide whom to vote for. The brain is so overrated. It's not even a cute body part. Hearts are way cuter than brains, 'di ba?

 

But you probably already know that. That's exactly why I understood your reasons for not agreeing to engage in a debate with your fellow Senate hopeful Risa Hontiveros. There's no need to argue and bring out all that negativity. Especially with this crazy summer heat. Let's leave nasty debates to Koko Pimentel and Migz Zubiri because they really can't help it; they are testosterone-based life forms.

 

So, yes, I applaud you for not engaging in debates. It's a waste of time. You don't have to prove that you can keep up with anyone else when you're already popular. Your name already sounds familiar so people will vote for you.

 

Don't mind those people who wrote a spoof-y satirical report about your daddy getting a temporary protection order to ensure that you don't participate in debates. That fake report was just so hilarious. I couldn't help but laugh and share it, like, 100 times via Facebook. What made it even funnier was that so many people thought it was real. That's when I realized that the funny faux report was so cruel pala. Sorry. Forgive me na, I said 50 Our Fathers to repent.

 

'Di bale na your haters. I think you have a great chance of becoming senator. I just have a good feeling about you. Although I have to confess that I really hate your slogan. "Serbisyong Binay ang inaalay?" It sounds so...old. So traditional. So trapo. Why can't you use cooler slogans like "Nancy is no pansy," "Nancy drew a great plan for the Philippines," "Get ready for democ-Nancy," and "Nancy is a busy bee nanay"? Or, if you really want to use "Binay," why not this: "Once you go Binay, you never go hinay-hinay." Anyway, it's too late for that. If you lose, blame it on your slogan.

 

Lastly, I want to greet you happy birthday in advance. You're turning 40 a day before the elections. That must be exciting. I thought of sending you a birthday cake, but then I'm sure you're sick of birthday cakes by now. I had also wanted to tell you that I'd give you my vote as a birthday gift...but I can't. I won't be able to cast my vote on May 13, as I am scheduled to undergo brain surgery on that day. I shall just vote for you in spirit. It's the thought that counts and what-not. Just remember that I "heart" you even if I have no damn idea what your platform is all about. I'd Google itbut what's the point?

 

Stay extremely tan!

 

Your "fan,"
Alex

 

[Ed's note: We asked Alex Evangelista to write another piece for SPOT.ph after the response to Hashtag Your Face. Evangelista matriculated from the University of the Philippines, took graduate studies abroad, has worked in two national publications, and is currently involved in public governance.]

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38 Comments
  • Pink_mamba
    Disclaimer: I'm no Nancy supporter and I don't like the rset of the Binays. But this article is just too much! The writer is trying too much to make it "funny" but not an ounce of entertainment can be found on his write up. Maybe if it was given to Lourd, he could've pulled this off better. Now to y'all haters there, dont tell me Lourd and the writer of this junk ate different when they obviously attack the same way on journalism. Sadly the poor lad lacks humor.
    6 months ago     Reply  
  • passingby
    It's not Nancy, it's the voters. The challenge is for Nancy to pass a bill that will uplift the literacy and critical thinking of Filipinos.
    May 16 2013 @ 08:23pm     Reply  
  • madger
    Oh man, can't you just see the passion in her eyes. Look at all her photos, such fire, such determination.
    May 13 2013 @ 09:53pm     Reply  
  • Red Lion
    "Maybe you should get filmed doing the laundry as well. It's a smart move that will definitely warm so many voters' hearts. Because, really, we should all just use our hearts to decide whom to vote for. The brain is so overrated. It's not even a cute body part. Hearts are way cuter than brains, 'di ba?"

    - Um Kuya Alex, the Heart is an "Involuntary Muscle" it does not make decisions, it is still the brain that decides, and I don't see anyone saying "How cute naman the Heart" when its ripped out of someone's chest!
    May 10 2013 @ 08:40pm     Reply   Hide replies
    2
    • That is the point
      The passage is meant to be ironic. It's veiled sarcasm.
      May 10 2013 @ 08:55pm     Reply  
  • Rico
    The color of the skin is not relevant to serving the people... I think Nancy Binay is still a lot better than most candidates.
    Apr 29 2013 @ 12:19pm     Reply   Hide replies
    22
  • Controversy
    I said: Kawawa naman ang Pilipinas, ano?
    Mom said: nope, we are not kawawa... We are st*p*d!
    Apr 28 2013 @ 05:12pm     Reply  
  • Ging
    We are scraping the bottom of the barrel now. This is how it is in this country; senatorial hopefuls like the idealist JC De Vera will never win, wasn't even endorsed by the El Shaddai leader?! It's a shame because De Vera is an extreme pro-lifer cerrado catolico. And more important, he's got a platform, and participates in debates even if its quixotic on his part. In the meantime, Nancy Binay, no debates, no platform?!, Tourism graduate (no offense okay?, i do have relatives who took up and graduated from that course) is up in the surveys on mere NAME RECALL! and most probably will be a senator. It sucks because am looking for the ideal too. Whoever spray-painted that graffiti on the side of a Montreal building got it right. His graffiti read,-IF VOTING CHANGED ANYTHING, THEY'D MAKE IT ILLEGAL.
    Apr 27 2013 @ 02:59pm     Reply   Hide replies
    • Zorann
      College of Tourism is looked down upon in U.P. Diliman because it's where scholastic delinquents end up in when they get booted out of their respective quota-course colleges/units (no offense, but that's a fact).
      May 17 2013 @ 12:28am     Reply  
    • Ging
      Am bound to be corrected. The idealist is JC De los Reyes, i think. Who the heck is JC De Vera?! Is he an actor? 'cause it sounds like it.
      Apr 27 2013 @ 05:39pm     Reply   Hide replies
      • flygehl
        Yes, the former is some matinee pretty boy
        May 06 2013 @ 10:26am     Reply  
        1
  • ivan terible
    pinoys ( esp. the "masa" ) loves an underdog..and nancy binay becomes an underdog because she's become target of "laiteros and laiteras" ,and that increases her chances of winning. .so please don't make "lait" her, kasi bka manalo!
    Apr 26 2013 @ 03:56pm     Reply  
  • emacam
    Very funny and refreshing. Can't wait for more.
    Apr 26 2013 @ 10:47am     Reply   Hide replies
    • coca nicolas
      ano ito Coca cola? Refreshing! LOL
      Apr 27 2013 @ 12:25am     Reply  
      1
  • Sampaguita
    I enjoyed reading the letter and even sent the link of this article to my family, friends, and even former schoolmates. This is really hilarious. I hope this article would serve as en eye-opener to the voters. Also, Tatay Binay will not be always there to serve as a stage dad / dad-manager to his daughter. This goes out to Jack Enrile, too.
    Apr 26 2013 @ 09:51am     Reply  
  • Rebecca Belleza
    Dear Alex, Studies show that having sex with a partner for two hours would burn at least 27,000 calories. But it seems you're not getting any from the way you wrote this piece. If you're a man enough, do yourself a big favor. Stop writing sh*t and do something else with your hands. Try to masturbate. It's good for your brain.
    Apr 25 2013 @ 11:35pm     Reply  
    22
  • vicente
    This is the kind of writing that really sets a very, very BAD example to our youths. Bad enough that this no-name writer has to be by-lined with reference list (in media practice, this is reserved only to real achievers in the industry, even good start-ups would decline that). Worse, this peace reeks of NEGATIVITY. There is no iota of substance that readers can get from here. And where are the righteous ones who balk at insults to inherent nationalistic pride - like Nancy's pinay color. "You're actually very dark brown with a grayish tinge." You mean Kayumangging kaligatan? Kayumangging karilagan? All these trash talk to appear "witty" when you have miserably failed. What's wrong with being persobal assistant to her parents?At least she is not some ambitious go-getter that despite vain references made on who she/he is, the fact remains there is nothing to the person. On a related note, this also showcases the quality of editorial journalism propagated by online sites. Ethics and propriety make way for "mediocrity" and trying-hard controversy-that'-was-not! An anti-Nancy Binay propaganda (by the way, is this even legal to publish things like this within election time?) can be presented with credibility on the important aspects of insight, facts and analysis. Content is king, only when there is substance to it. Otherwise, even copyscape would not bother to check. (I am a retired journalist, 53 this August. I have yet to made up my mind about who to vote, but certainly, I knew enough to know that this kind of written piece cannot put any candidate that's the object of its insults down. I just hope your website and dear editors will redeem itself next time, not for anything or anyone, but mainly for the young Filipinos who may happen to read one of your posts. Thank you. (mano vic)
    Apr 25 2013 @ 10:42pm     Reply   Hide replies
    13
    • Hindi ka journalist
      "I have yet to made up my mind about who to vote, but certainly, I knew enough to know that this kind of written piece cannot put any candidate that's the object of its insults down." Paano ka naging journalist with such bad grammar? Heto ang correct: "I have yet to make up my mind about who to vote for. But, certainly, I know enough that this kind of written piece can't put down a candidate with insults." Mahiya ka naman sana sa lahat ng mga legit na journalists. Just express your thoughts in the language that you're most comfortable with so it's doesn't sound so messed up.
      Apr 26 2013 @ 06:48pm     Reply  
    • eleanor
      It's "piece," not "peace.

      "Reserved for," not "reserved to."

      Buti na lang retired journalist ka na.
      Apr 26 2013 @ 02:25am     Reply   Hide replies
      3
      • yan
        wow...all you noticed are the minor errors in grammar and spelling...why not try to understand his post instead...it's much smarter than the article
        Apr 27 2013 @ 01:59am     Reply   Hide replies
        1
        • Hindi minor ang maling verb tense
          Wrong verb tense is not a minor error for someone claiming to be a journalist. :) By the way, you have a problem with punctuation. It's supposed to be: "Why not try to understand his post instead?" We can barely understand a post that doesn't communicate an idea well. Bakit hindi s'ya mag-Filipino?
          Apr 27 2013 @ 09:44am     Reply  
          1
  • kreist
    very well said..
    but sadly, she's no.3 in survey.. XD
    Apr 25 2013 @ 05:17pm     Reply   Hide replies
    1
    • Sad Sam
      Yes. All we have is our futile laughter. Or else masisiraan na tayo ng bait.
      Apr 25 2013 @ 08:31pm     Reply  
  • Rebecca Belleza
    Why are we so hung up on cofradia, nognog, negra, negrita, ulikba, and apulid? This is a democratic country and according to the law, as long as you can afford to finance a campaign you can run for any public office. If the rumors are true about VP Binay owning ill-gotten condo units in Makati, file a case against him at the Sandigang Bayan, the Ombudsman is there for a reason. If you can't prove anything, shut the f up. If you think Nancy Binay will steal from the public coffers, if she wins this election, file a complaint against her as well. If you hate her simply for not producing enough tan lines, it's your problem, not hers. If she refuses to go on a debate, that's her prerogative. Just don't use the "skin color" issue because it does leave a bad stain in the mouth and it just proves that Filipinos are inherently racists against people who are darker than themselves. And it's not funny.
    Apr 25 2013 @ 05:05pm     Reply   Hide replies
    10
    • Eric Samuel P. Joven
      Why are you trying to make it as an issue of color when it is not? I can smell apologist.
      Apr 26 2013 @ 04:08pm     Reply  
  • Nancy Obama
    Testosterone based? Baka estrogen...

    Pagnanalo Ito, na-Binay tayo
    Apr 25 2013 @ 11:18am     Reply  
    1
  • bibbo
    I applaud the writer and all of the intelligent / informed Filipino voters. But we cannot deny that at the end of the day its still up to the 'masa' to elect our readers. Unfortunately the 'masa' crowd are uninformed and will succombd to the 'black magic' of the Binays.
    Apr 25 2013 @ 07:36am     Reply  
    1
  • Bryan d
    love it! i'm sending the link to everyone i know for them to read.
    hahaha!
    Apr 25 2013 @ 02:18am     Reply  
  • humble bee
    hahaha what a good refreshing article!!! this is so funny to share...
    Apr 24 2013 @ 10:27pm     Reply  
  • rolllyy
    lols, hahahaha I was laughing the whole time...... sarcastic indeed. haha
    Apr 24 2013 @ 10:03pm     Reply  
  • arghh
    Satire.
    Apr 24 2013 @ 08:19pm     Reply  
  • hihi
    asan na bang versions ng mga trapos/dynasties aiming for national positions? keep em coming! :)
    Apr 24 2013 @ 07:20pm     Reply  
  • whadayouknow
    The truth always hurt and this is why there is a need for no less than the Vice President to request for a restraining order not to let his precious daughter to debate any of the senatorial candidates. May kasabihan tayo na, "tignan nyo na lang, wag ng pagsalitain at baka kung ano pa ang masabi." We are not making "lait" Nancy Binay because of her color but we lament at the fact that she is getting a free ticket to the Senate, courtesy of her father, the Vice President. Soon, we are one big Makati City, under the reign of the Binays. Do we deserve it? Let our votes speak for us. And yes, God help us.
    Apr 24 2013 @ 05:27pm     Reply  
  • hunnynthebee
    sarcasm and truth...perfect mix. love the way you write. perfect refreshment for the summer heat hahaha
    Apr 24 2013 @ 05:14pm     Reply  
  • anonymous
    "Once you go Binay, you never go hinay-hinay." Sobra ang tawa ko dito.
    Apr 24 2013 @ 05:04pm     Reply  
  • florabel
    matindi. one of the most honest opinions or should i say, thoughts shared. sapul kung sapul.
    Apr 24 2013 @ 04:51pm     Reply  
  • Kisley
    Nancy as a subject of ridicule? FTW!!!!!!
    Apr 24 2013 @ 03:02pm     Reply  
  • anabanana
    hahahah!!! OMG! This really made me laugh. Thanks for posting.

    And to Papichulo168, who told you that PNoy did not attend any debates before? Yung major Inquirer forum nga si ERAP lang ang wala eh. Tsk!
    Apr 24 2013 @ 02:45pm     Reply  
  • sunny
    the slogans are hilarious! HAHAHA
    Apr 24 2013 @ 01:52pm     Reply  
  • Kim
    Are you really undergoing brain surgery on election day? Haha! nicely written though.
    Apr 24 2013 @ 01:23pm     Reply  
  • Piako
    Very nicely done. I truly enjoyed reading your letter.
    Apr 24 2013 @ 01:12pm     Reply  
    1
  • Irvine
    HAHAHAHA SARCASM AT ITS FINEST =))) LOVE IT!
    Apr 24 2013 @ 01:09pm     Reply  
    1
  • Papichulo168
    So she refused to go on a debate, bug deal. Your fair-haired president also refused to go on debates when he was running for the Presidency. He opted to campaign by the strength of his lineage and his charismatic last name.
    Apr 24 2013 @ 12:38pm     Reply  
    14
  • Gerryvee
    let's repost this article.. bakasakaling maka-contribute sa awareness ng voters.. if she becomes a senator, then we deserve it for being so gullible.. i really hope those who will be elected are true statesman hindi katulad nitong very obvious na naghahanda lang para sa presidential candidacy ng tatay nya. she's not qualified to become a senator so please let's re-post this.. thanks, SPOT!!!
    Apr 24 2013 @ 11:34am     Reply  
  • sienan
    hey @alex, you should have a blog, like professional heckler! :)
    Apr 24 2013 @ 11:17am     Reply  
  • Typical Chinoy
    unfortunately, those who will vote for her, doesn't know how to use the computer or internet. kung meron man internet, tetris sa facebook lang ang ginagawa and selfies too.
    Apr 24 2013 @ 10:10am     Reply  
    2
  • wagi
    Hahaha, winner! Sama lang nung unang paragraph pero smartly written! :D alaveeet!
    Apr 24 2013 @ 10:08am     Reply  
  • lulu
    haha, sarap lang ng tawa ko. salamat spot!
    Apr 24 2013 @ 09:48am     Reply  
  • Rea Pollard
    Winner! Smart writing! I loved it! You read my mind, you put in writing all the thoughts i had since i saw this binay girl on tv. Good job. Kung di ka pa nagising na voter ka, ewan na.
    Apr 24 2013 @ 09:33am     Reply  
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