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Election Results 2013: Prove Me Wrong, Philippines
Musings on the circus also known as Philippine Elections
By: Alex Evangelista  |   Published on: May 13, 2013 - 8:00am


(SPOT.ph) The real winners of the 2013 Senatorial Elections have to be fans of Da King, as his presence graced us quite persistently during his daughter’s campaign. We have to keep things exciting now that Madam Senator Miriam Defensor-Santiago is making an exit so I hope she keeps her promise of Tatak FPJ. I'm looking forward to hearing his movies being quoted on the senate floor. This line from Aguila rings in my ears, “Huwag mo na linlangin ang sarili mo, anak. Hindi ako ang hinahanap mo sa kabuuan ng iyong paglalakbay. Ang tunay na hinahanap mo ay kahulugan.

 

What about us? What are we looking for this season?

 

Certainly not big banners with gummy smiles since Comelec unexpectedly did a great job removing oversized posters plastered on buses. This might’ve disappointed Sonny Angara’s camp because despite his very handsome résumé, his strongest asset is a sex appeal that even his camison can’t contain. Even Madam Senator Santiago couldn’t resist mentioning it. As a good friend of mine said, “Kung magpapaloko ka, dun na sa pogi!”

 

Poor Sonny, though. His last name might actually be making people avoid him and the public isn't really paying attention to his pretty decent track record, which he urged people to peruse. The Magsaysays aren't appealing to the masses either but I can pin the blame on strange remarks from Mitos. Yes, she's that lady who said, "Hindi mo pwedeng paghiwalayin ang simbahan at pamahalan sapagkat ako po ay pinanganak na Katoliko." I still don't see the logic of that statement.

 

Meanwhile, dear old Nancy is well on her way to becoming Senator Binay. It's so much easier to read the list of her achievements because face it, it's kinda exhausting reading the laws that Teddy Casino co-authored. A blank white page is more soothing to the eyes.

 

Nancy's api appeal will take her to places we all know she’s never been before. This year, we might actually have five Binays (six including the Vice President) in public office. I’m hoping she’ll push for the legislation of The Birthday Cake Act once she inevitably gets elected. It’s her father’s greatest legacy and we hope she continues the amazing work he’s done. I’d also like to see her make good on her promise to debate Risa Hontiveros once they’re both serving as senators but that will only happen if Hontiveros wins. She almost won three years ago and I think she’ll almost win again this year. Keep trying, Risa.

 

Former presidential candidates Jamby Madrigal, JC de los Reyes, and Brother Eddie Villanueva probably need to reconsider their career paths if they don't get elected as senators. I don't mean that they should go for an even lower position. I mean stop. Specially you, JC. Stay in church, where you can talk about what your divine being of choice likes all day long.

 

I'll admit that I want to see Dick Gordon be declared a winner but then, with a name like Dick? It’s kinda hard to like the man despite his pretty solid performance in debates. He’s got some shady things under his belt for sure but at least he has something under his belt. In mock elections, like the one done at the University of the Philippines in 2010, he’s a top grosser;  but for some reason, his charm falls short outside campuses. Perhaps it's his weak stand on the RH Law. What on earth is that about? Don't do things just to please us, Dick. We like it when you come down hard on issues. We like it when you're firm. Be firm, Dick. Be firm.

 

One thing that surprised me this year was the lack of luster from celebrities. Chiz Escudero took a beating despite his girlfriend’s highly polished appearance in a magazine. Naiingit kasi kami, Chiz. I don’t want to vote for you, just to prove that you can’t have everything.

 

Sadly, I know that there’s a reason why it’s called an automated election. They could have used the term "electronic" but it doesn't quite capture the essence of the Philippine Elections. What we have is a guarantee that we’ll have another Villar to replace the departing Villar. We’ll still have the Cayetano siblings. I guess they're pretty okay but I'm wondering if they'll continue bickering with the Enriles (if Jack manages to beat Gringo Honasan out of the last spot.) I'm also wondering if Migz Zubiri is regretting his decision to resign or his decision to admit that he “indirectly benefitted” from the cheating that went on in 2010, now that he's lagging behind in the latest SWS Surveys. I can hear Koko Pimentel cackling in the background.

 

And of course, we’ve got a package delivered to us perfectly wrapped with a yellow ribbon. I don’t really have a problem with Bam trying to divine the spirit of his uncle but until I hear him orating passionately from the podium… what am I even saying? There’s no end to the Yellow Fever. Bimby’s probably going to be President someday too. Thankfully, I'll be dead by then. I'll make sure of it.

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9 Comments
  • xxxpider
    he he he. i like this. esp on d*ck. be firm and be rigid and hard. no one wants a soft d*ck. be hard d*ck.
    May 16 2013 @ 08:04am     Reply  
  • wOLFBACK
    Ang mga nang-aalaska kay Nancy Binay dahil sa kulay ng kanyang balat ay maiitim ang mga budhi, kili2 at singit. dONG aBAY
    May 15 2013 @ 02:15pm     Reply  
  • Oligarchy of Ignorance
    Si Gordon,Jun Magsaysay,Zubiri tatlo ang endorsement. pero nanganganib ngayon. kaya dalawa ang Magsaysay na tumakbo. para mahati ang boto at 'di manalo Si Congreswoman Magsaysay.'di ba Pnoy? Opposition e. I- Educate mo sa lugar mo ang mga Bandwagon,grade 1, immature, Fanatic Trapo Voter's.' wag puro reklamo.gawa rin.kilos rin. hindi ako masaya walang ckeck-in balance sa Senate.
    What Pnoy wants Pnoy Gets. anti Dynasty ako.Pero maganda naman ang kayumanggi. gamit na gamit ang conditional cash sa eleksyon.
    May 15 2013 @ 01:30pm     Reply  
  • Saving Truth
    @ macky .kahit rin ako hindi rin masaya.'wag mu naman sisihin ang mga botante. Mapanlilang ang mga Pol. Ads. mabulaklak ang talumpati, Mind Conditioning ang surveys. e, 'di aabusuhin ng mga kandidato. saka bat' 'di ka umikot buong Pinas. tapos I - educate sa pag boto para mabawasan. matalino mangmang mahirap mayaman sikat oridinaryong indibiwal. pantay lang 'pag eleksyon.isa lang bilang. bantayan natin sila at yung mga pinangako. dun tayo gumanti.
    ayaw nila makinig sa Simbahan 'yan tuloy! wala pang nanalong 'di magastos sa kampanya.
    May 14 2013 @ 03:02pm     Reply  
  • Ging
    To Janis and Cynique- it's also an individual's right to boycott elections if that's what he wants to do. Sabi nga, prerogative niya yon. If he doesn't believe in the process and the system, so be it. As Gary Olivar said, many candidates in this country don't divulge their stand, or worse, don't know what their stand is on the "principal contradiction." Olivar says that is the essential tension in a given situation- the bottom line, the deal breaker that has to be addressed. And to quote Fr. Callangan-Aquino who also boycotted the polls, he said, "Unsuitable candidates have won public office on the basis of sympathy, or because of the Pinoy's propensity to side with the underdog-or with one who pictures himself to be the hapless victim of every conceivable wrong. Candidates for the House of Representatives promise tangible projects, and they are aped by candidates for the local 'Sanggunians.' But a congressman is supposed to participate in the process of writing law!... Similarly, we expect the members of our local sanggunians to keep the peace, pave our streets, light our dark alleyways and apprehend criminals-matters left to the Punong Barangay or the barangay tanod and to the city engineer. Seldom, if ever, do we ask whether they can propose ordinances and support them with sound argument! So it is that we elect clowns and choose smiling candidates only newly emerged from illiteracy!"
    May 14 2013 @ 02:47pm     Reply  
  • cynique
    @macky:

    Kesa magreklamo, bakit hindi mo try na tumakbo, malay mo manalo ka? Tandaan: if you are NOT part of the SOLUTION you ARE part of the PROBLEM! :)
    May 14 2013 @ 11:55am     Reply  
  • macky
    sobrang nakakadismaya ang mag nagyayari sa bansa natin....

    Sobrang ang kakapal ng mga mukha nila, Bistadong mga Corrupt,magnanakaw, hindi pa rin mahiyang magkandito.... at mas LALONG DI KO MAINTINDIHAN.. KUNG GAANO KABOBO AT KATANGA ANG MAG BOTANTE?????? ILAN PANG KATULAD NI ERAP ESTRADA, GLORIA MACAPAGAL ARROYO etc. ANG MAGTUTULOY SA BULOK gobyarno!???????? grabe naman PINOY mag BOBO talaga... kaya tama lang ang disisyon ko wag n lang bumuto kasi saying lang... ang pagod at talino ko sa pagboto.. DUMANINTE ANG KATAHAN SA PAGBOTO ANG GULO.. TAPOS PURO REKLAMO KUNG BAKIT DAW MAHIRAP ANG BANSA NATIN.. DAHIL DIN SA INYO MGA BOBONG BOTANTE..
    May 14 2013 @ 08:43am     Reply   Hide replies
    1
    • janis
      siguro kung lahat ng matatalinong botante gaya mo ay ginawa ang kanilang responsibilidad sa bayan, wala kang marereklamo ngayon :)
      May 14 2013 @ 10:14am     Reply   Hide replies
      • Shernanigan
        Outnumbered parin po ang mga matitinong botante.
        May 14 2013 @ 12:24pm     Reply  
  • ktslifestyle
    I want to share my voting experience http://ktlifestyle.blogspot.com/2013/05/election-2013.html
    May 13 2013 @ 01:37pm     Reply  
    3
  • monocle
    in 40 years or so, when bimby becomes eligible for the presidency, the planet would've already succumbed to environmental disaster or maybe north korea would've already blasted us all to kingdom come. so maybe we won't have to make that moral decision of killing ourselves. (unless kris wins which will probably happen sooner)
    May 13 2013 @ 09:54am     Reply  
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