The John Lloyd-Shaina-Ruffa debacle, Claudine Barretto’s TV meltdown + more lowlights

Plus Lovi Poe’s star, Edwin Lacierda’s outing, the Lindsay Lohan sex toy, and more nutty news.

 

1. PIRATED DVD VENDORS IN QUIAPO HIT BY ANOTHER RAID. Official statement from our beloved bootleg DVD entrepreneurs: "Hang in there, mga suki."

 

2. MTRCB SAYS ONLY GP OR PG MOVIES SHOULD BE SHOWN IN BUSES BUT DOESN’T ISSUE A SUPPLEMENTAL ANTI-PIRACY WARNING. Memo to Quiapo’s temporaily displaced pirates: This here is a business opportunity!

3. DESPITE HER LEGAL WOES, LINDSAY LOHAN GETS PAID FOR A PLAYBOY STINT AND A SEX TOY MANUFACTURER WANTS TO IMMORTALIZE HER...NETHER REGIONS. You know you’re a star when people still pay to get a piece of your soul even when it’s on vacation in Has-Been City and doesn’t want to leave.

 

4. JENNYLYN MERCADO INTERVIEWS VILMA SANTOS ON SHOWBIZ CENTRAL. The Betamax Queen issue was brought up, but these days the real elephant in the room is the proposed you-know-what. (Silver lining!)

5. MARIAN RIVERA WANTS TO DO ANOTHER DANCE ALBUM. If Anne Curtis can sing, then Marian Rivera can dance.

 

6. FANS ARE ASKED IF THEY THINK LOVI POE DESERVES A STAR ON THE WALK OF FAME. Yes, of course...if you’re using the word "fame" loosely. (You’re gorgeous, Lovi, but that star is rather premature.)

7. PRESIDENTIAL SPOKESPERSON EDWIN LACIERDA SPOTTED AT THE BLACK EYED PEAS CONCERT. So this is what he looks like when he doesn’t have that "I’m constipated" face during press conferences.

 

8. CLAUDINE BARRETTO BREAKS DOWN AT THE BANK WHEN SHE FINDS OUT MONEY HAS BEEN WITHDRAWN FROM HER JOINT ACCOUNT WITH RAYMART SANTIAGO. And for some reason, a TV crew was there to film the whole thing.

9. CORA PASTRANA, WHO WAS BRIEFLY MARRIED TO RAYMOND BAGATSING, SHOWS UP IN SHOWBIZ CENTRAL. Was that 15 minutes? It felt like 15 years.

 

10. JOHN LLOYD CRUZ, SHAINA MAGDAYAO, AND RUFFA GUTIERREZ ARE AT IT AGAIN. Thank you for entertaining the nation during these troubled times.

 

Art by Warren Espejo

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