Unfortunately, language does not have a governing body like the WHO. There are no monitoring bodies to track down the migration of viruses, no one to combat their spread, no one to file criminal charges. These are the phrases that contribute to the speedy decline of civilization. And whoever started them deserves a slow and painful death by swine flu.
1. "Ayt"– Because you're not black, and you're not a total idiot. And don't think for one second you're cute.
2. "Aylavet"– It's like Kris Aquino– tolerable on the computer monitor and the cellphone screen but irritating when heard. This takes on a heightened level of annoyance when the speaker animates the expression by prolonging the last syllable. At which point I summon all my powers of restraint to stop strangling speaker with my bare hands. Especially when said speaker happens to be a red-blooded male.
3. "Meh ganun?" - Because the radio station Energy FM 91.5 is among the best reasons for avoiding public transport.
4. "Elow po"– With the optional "poh." Indicates that the speaker is either a 14-year-old girl who has a pink-wallpapered Friendster account or just a complete dumbass.
5. "Chorva"– Because in 1574 God invented the dictionary. Two and a half months before that, God invented the human brain, which he intended for complex systems of operations like logic, reasoning, analysis, and language. Which means, God did not want all his creatures to speak like they worked the night shift at Reyes Haircutters. If he did, we'd all have naturally bleached, over-gelled hair. That, plus perennially raised collars.
6. "Nownah"– Which is "now na" pulled down to unfathomably moronic depths, but is actually persuasive in specific instances. E.g. "I will bludgeon you until you're comatose, you stupid idiot. When? Nownah."
7. "Ayuz"– The bigger schmuck, however, is that record company dork behind Ayuz: The Compilation.
8. "Haller" – God's way of telling us we're not reading enough books.
9. "Text-text"– Indicates several things: a. A certain appointment/ person is not important enough to merit an exact time and place. b. "We're so dumb we can't even make up our minds about which restaurant. You'll be late? It's okay. I'll be late, too." b. "Let's play it by ear. Maybe I'll feel lazy and I won't be in the mood to see you." c. The improvisational nature of the Filipino temperament. Which is probably explains why we're the mightiest, most efficient nation on the planet.
10. "OMG" – Marks the completion of our descent from human beings into ants.
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Artwork by Warren Espejo.
Please include "dito na me"
Lourd, This is from my cousin Tracy who does not agree with you-- Wa nya lang type chumorva dahil heller siya! Vaka naman wa niya lang carry ang Vadingspeak! Bwahahaha!
Two thumbs up.
tiyak ko marami masasapol sa number 4 :D hahahaha!
i pity the people who use those words when speaking...please stop bastardizing language
Oh my goodness, I didn't know "nownah" existed. Blech!!
awts! (ouch)
Lourd, it's not nice to say that whoever invented these expressions should die of swine flu. very mean of you! i totally agree that using these expressions is a way of neglecting our language, but if people use it just for fun, what's the big deal? should we sound so perfect and well-spoken all the time? peace :)
Loud, i have this funny feeling this will all die a natural death as time passes or somebody invents a new (but not necessarily witty) expression... remember (if u were old enough then) the expressions "to-dits", "highball" "ty-par" etc of the sixties? hardly anybody uses them now... till then oh my ears will bleed...
I wonder why people like to add the letter H in everything? ("po" becomes "poh" and names like "mhelissa" and such) I've also been seeing a lot of "akow" for "ako" ?????!!!!
di pa namatay ang "in fairness"...
Haha. Language is created and recreated, by the people as a manifestation of their socio-cultural influences and experience. Its an expression from the grassroots, not necessarily an imposition from the theorists. Filipinos like fun. Haha. You're trying to remove the fun out of the indigenization of foreign languages into our own. I don't think these are stupid per se, they're just different. Besides, the expressions we have today, were also bastardizations of British English of yesteryear by the "stupid" Americans. Chillax lang you kasi masaya naman eh. :D
Nice list. If you could, please add "weh." I still don't know what it means nor what it signifies. Hahaha!
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So?NOW NA..
keri lang...churva ka dyan? MA AT PA!!!!!!!!1
I also encounter people who intentionally misuse punctuations like the question mark. Like this somebody who texted me recently, "Tenx poh?" and "ok punta po ako ng sunday?" I mean. WTF! Are you asking me a question or is he just a complete dumbass?
walang basagan ng trip. hehehe.
Language evolves... that's a fact... and you are no one to stop the evolution of language.. we will not have the language we have today if those you call "dumb ass" did not creatively designed words... so mind your moronic and narrow understanding..
Napaka-fundamentalist naman ng article na ito kahit na may kasamang humor. Ang wika ay buhay kaya lahat ng bagong salita o expression na nalilikha ay valid. Hindi lahat ng tao ay magkakatulad at pareho ang paraan ng pag-iisip kaya kung may mga taong nagsimulang gumamit ng mga expressions na nakalista, wala tayong karapatang husgahan sila.