Then, if I remember correctly–because I was too shocked to remember, not to mention laughing my brains off–Noynoy Aquino also rose to speak. Jamby also spoke, but was cut off by Cayetano, who was still on a roll, calling her "saling pusa." The enraged Pillsbury Dough Lady screamed, "Corrupt! Corrupt! Corrupt!" At this point, I think it was Jinggoy Estrada who took the floor, but really, after all that action, who the f–k cares?

If I were Roxas, I would have whooped the old man's ass. Just to teach the geezer a lesson. Physical violence in a legislative space is not new. It's been a long, cherished tradition, particularly in the Taiwanese parliament. Demanding satisfaction would have been the manlier option. People seem to be forgetting the cathartic virtues of a good fistfight. Respect for the elderly and the possibly senile takes a backseat when the wife is insulted. More importantly: any guy with the nickname "Nene" deserves to be beaten to a silly pulp.

But what do you expect? Everyone has been decrying the "unparliamentary" behavior of the Senate on January 25, 2010. Then again, most of its members wouldn't even know parliamentary even if it bit them on the ass. Maybe there's nothing parliamentary about winning a political seat through ads that feature cheap slogans, cheesy choreography, and idiotic jingles. Or maybe Pimentel considered fair game anyone who's been seen pedalling a clumsy pedicab, who had co-opted the song "Mister Suwabe," and once mouthed bad words in public. Not to mention who tweets every dumb, insignificant detail of his honeymoon.

And speaking of slogans, I humbly suggest this one should he decide to run again. "AQUILINO PIMENTEL JR... I-INSERT SA SENADO."