A hoax is Bourne, Charice and Jinkee get Photoshop potshots + more lowlights

1. AMID THE BOURNE LEGACY FRENZY, A CASTING CALL HOAX TARGETING PINOYS WITH HOLLYWOOD DREAMS IS HATCHED ONLINE. It’s just part of the "Click without thinking" campaign, which, by the way, has a neverending "casting call."

2. COMEDIAN VIC SOTTO SAYS HE CAN’T BELIEVE HIS LATEST "ENTENG ENTRY" IN THE MMFF IS THE TOP BOX OFFICE DRAW. Congratulations! (We can’t believe it either.)

3. THE 2012 NEW YEAR REVELRY IS TAGGED AS "THE DEADLIEST IN 20 YEARS" BY THE DOH. Did evolution skip some parts of the world?

4. CHED SAYS NURSING IS AN "OVERSUBSCRIBED" COURSE. Try telling this to the parents who force their kids to take the course.

5. RETIRED MAJOR GENERAL JOVITO PALPARAN IS ON THE RUN, REWARD FOR HIS CAPTURE IS NOW P1 MILLION. An ounce of paranoia is better than a whole lot of reward money. (We suppose he got away because everyone was so busy with Gloria.)

6. LOOKS LIKE ALL SYSTEMS ARE GO FOR CHIEF JUSTICE RENATO CORONA’S IMPEACHMENT TRIAL. We crown thee "Gloria of 2012."

7. POP STAR KATY PERRY AND COMEDIAN RUSSELL BRAND ARE GETTING DIVORCED. They lasted 14 months, which is a lot more than what Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries can say.

8. COMEDIENNE POKWANG ADMITS SHE HAS A CRUSH ON ABS-CBN NEWSMAN HENRY OMAGA DIAZ. Well, he is sort of cute in that "tito" kind of way.

9. NETIZENS CRY "PHOTOSHOP FOUL" WHEN CHARICE PEMPENGCO AND JINKEE PACQUIAO LOOK "MORE BEAUTIFUL THAN USUAL" ON MAGAZINE COVERS. They’re damned if they "look ugly" and damned if they you look "too beautiful." (Ladies, just opt for the latter.)

10. THERE’S "TENSION" BETWEEN VICE GANDA AND AI-AI DE LAS ALAS. Just an observation: They look like they could be siblings.

Art by Warren Espejo, with a screenshot from Bandila (Pokwang).