Vicki Belo and Hayden Kho break up, P-Noy and Grace Lee connect + more lowlights

1. SENATORS TG GUINGONA AND KOKO PIMENTEL THINK CHIEF JUSTICE RENATO CORONA’S IMPEACHMENT TRIAL IS GOING TOO SLOW. Then find a way for Senator Miriam Santiago to be there more so at least you’ll be entertained.

2. CHIEF JUSTICE CORONA’S BANK ACCOUNTS ARE SCRUTINIZED AND A "SMALL LADY" IS INVOLVED. How "small" is "small"? "Mahal-small" or "Glora Arroyo-small"?

3. PEOPLE SAY SENATOR MIRIAM SANTIAGO SHOULD TAKE PITY ON REP. NIEL TUPAS JR. AND, PERHAPS, STOP LECTURING HIM. And maybe Rep. Niel Tupas Jr. should also take pity on the rest of us.

4. THE MANILA CATHEDRAL IS SUDDENLY CLOSED FOR YEARLONG REPAIRS STARTING FEBRUARY 7 AND 200 COUPLES WITH SCHEDULED WEDDINGS HAVE TO FIND NEW VENUES. An exorcist should be called in to deal with enraged brides-to-be who have planned their wedding day since they were eight years old.

5. OVER 1,400 MOTORCYCLE RIDERS CALLED OUT AND LECTURED FOR NOT USING DESIGNATED LANES ON EDSA. Expecting all of them to learn this traffic lesson is like expecting the RH Bill to see the light of day tomorrow.

6. SENATOR JUAN PONCE ENRILE TURNS 88 YEARS OLD ON VALENTINE’S DAY, SAYS HE’S ALREADY IN LIFE’S "PRE-DEPARTURE AREA." Then, he’s lucky that his "plane" is always late.

7. CHIEF JUSTICE CORONA STRIKES BACK, BRINGS UP THE HACIENDA LUISITA ISSUE. Uh...maybe you shouldn’t have said that, dude.

8. JAMES YAP AND KRIS AQUINO ARE REPORTEDLY GOOD FRIENDS NOW. Annulment makes the heart grow fonder.

9. DR. VICKI BELO AND HAYDEN KHO JR. ALLEGEDLY BREAK UP AFTER REPORTEDLY FIGHTING OVER NANCY CASTIGLIONE, WHO SAYS SHE’S CLUELESS ABOUT THE COUPLE’S TWITTER TIFF. Please spare us from any "accidental" video leaks.

10. TV HOST GRACE LEE DENIES EVER SAYING THAT SHE SEES HERSELF "GOING TO THE ALTAR" WITH P-NOY. Be careful about what you say you don’t wish for, you just might get it.

Art by Warren Espejo

Image credits: Screenshots from various video clips uploaded on YouTube.