Charts 12 Stars' Stars in 2010 "foretells" the future for 12 stars of every sign in the Zodiac

Pineapples and burgers, no more orders from Kuya and no more recordings: What does 2010 hold for 12 stars? consults the cosmos and the hit headlines of 2009.

Disclaimer: We at are no experts on astrology and were never under the tutelage of Madame Auring or Professor Trelawney. We are, however, fans of pop culture, politics and satire.

katrinaKatrina Halili, sexy actress (born January 4, 1986), Capricorn - Your sign is known to be introverted and feminine. Learn to embrace both of those inner traits and maybe you'll be able to save yourself from future scandal. In layman's terms, stay away from young, taken cosmetic surgeons who only want to dance.

vickiVicki Belo, plastic surgeon of the stars (born January 25, 1956), Aquarius - Your customers will itch for more this year; treatments with honey almond, grape seed extract and fruit acids will seem so 2009. Why not try the powers of pineapple? We have a feeling your customers will love it to death.


biancaBianca Gonzales, TV host (born March 11, 1983), Pisces - Better career opportunities await you in 2010. The first step is to stop taking orders from an obscure manly voice in your head called "Kuya," and go back to your roots. Intelligence can be better appreciated away from those tacky lines that you're made to read in front of the camera.

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gloriaGloria Macapagal Arroyo, President (born April 5, 1947), Aries - It's time to love your body. Give steaks a break. If Pampanga's ample supply of corn, root crops and fruits just can't satisfy the need for meat, tofu might be just as good at appeasing your hunger. Or burgers might work better, if not for your weight, then at least for your image.


samSam Milby, model turned actor (born May 23, 1984), Gemini - 2010 is the year for reinvention. Instead of strutting down half-naked on runways or denying nasty rumors about your personality, consider the year as the perfect opportunity to master the Philippine vernacular. It might give you good fortune when you dabble in serious dramas for once.


dingdongDingdong Dantes, actor and TV host (born August 2, 1980), Leo - It's time for a cool, seemingly subtle yet significant change. We foresee a tweak in your showbiz name–the third sexiest man in the world can't have a name that obvious.


jerichoJericho Rosales, actor (born September 22, 1979), Virgo - The past year has cradled you out of showbiz obscurity. It would be best if you maintain this good luck by buying a new pair of jeans and staying away from the recording studio…please?

bongRamon "Bong" Revilla Jr., senator and action star (born September 25, 1966), Libra - January will bring a newfound urge to learn new things. Maybe you'll finally start taking computer lessons? By mid-year, you'll be a pro at creating those awesome CG graphics truly worthy of The Lord of the Rings–or you could be directing home videos like the experts.


angelicaAngelica Panganiban, actress (born November 4, 1986), Scorpio - You are destined for great things this year. Pay extra attention to your chosen career, especially if it involves languages. Dragging out those As and adding various high-pitched notes to your speaking voice will bring you great fame and success.

mannyManny Pacquiao, world boxing champ and Sarangani congressional candidate (born December 17, 1978), Sagittarius - Money will flow in and out this year. Millions in from boxing, millions out for more diamonds. Millions in from showbiz, millions out for the showbiz world called Philippine politics.


Photos by Noel Orsal of, artwork (homepage) by Warren Espejo.

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