The Ely Buendia death hoax, Pacman’s poverty speech + more lowlights
Plus, the Azkals lose their chance at World Cup 2014, Judy Ann Santos shares weight loss secrets + more lowlights.
1. VIDEO CLIP TITLE: "OGIE ALCASID EXCITED NANG MAGING TATAY. He wasn’t excited the first two times?
2. JUDY ANN SANTOS SHARES WEIGHT LOSS SECRETS. But Photoshop is mega quicker!
3. THE AZKALS LOSE THEIR WORLD CUP CHANCE. Time to chew on some Cortal SQR and chant: "Alis sakit, alis pain."
4. P-NOY EXPANDS THE WANG-WANG ANALOGY IN THIS YEAR’S SONA. Next year, he’ll unveil Wang-wang: The Book and by 2016 he’ll star in Wang-wang: The Movie (Dude, Where the Hell is the Tuwid na Daan?).
5. SENATOR LOREN LEGARDA SAYS SHE WAS CHEATED DURING THE 2004 ELECTIONS. Get in line, we’ve all been cheated.
6. BOXER-CONGRESSMAN MANNY PACQUIAO MAKES TALKS ABOUT ENDING POVERTY. By buying his loved ones all the Prada, Chanel, and Louis Vuitton bags they could ever want.
7. MANNY PACQUIAO’S DOPPELGANGER IS IN MANILA. Here’s one way of fighting poverty, Pacman.
8. ELY BUENDIA IS THE LATEST DEATH HOAX VICTIM. Because idiots think Facebook status updates or tweets always tell the truth.
9. SINGER AMY WINEHOUSE DIES. May her perpetually stoned soul rest in the great rehab facility in the sky.
10. GLORIA MACAPAGAL-ARROYO UNDERGOES SURGERY. OK, we’re not sure if this one has a soul.
Art by Warren Espejo