Baron Geisler’s shenanigans, Hugh Hefner’s folly + more lowlights
Plus, Kim Kardashian’s baby, Gwen Garcia’s dilemma, and more nutty tales.
1. IN THE FACE OF HIS LATEST ANTICS, CONTROVERSIAL ACTOR BARON GEISLER ASKS FOR ANOTHER CHANCE. If he keeps this up, he could have a bright future in politics.
2. SI AGIMAT, SI ENTENG KABISOTE, AT SI AKO STILL DRAWS SOME FANS AT THE MMFF. Vic Sotto and Bong Revilla will keep making these movies until their granchildren are ready to take over their roles.
3. PCGG PROPOSES DISSOLUTION, CITES LACK OF RESOURCES TO KEEP DOING THEIR TASKS. Government service has a way of making people "tap out."
4. MORE PEOPLE ARE INJURED FROM FIRECRACKERS. Somebody once said, "You don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone"-but in this case, it’s "You don’t appreciate your fingers until they’re blown away." (Irresponsible and inconsiderate revelers who end up harming others should be put in jail!)
5. PLAYBOY BOSS HUGH HEFNER, 86, MARRIES CRYSTAL HARRIS, 26, THE WOMAN WHO HAD LEFT HIM AT THE ALTAR IN 2010. We have faith in Hefner’s longevity, but not in the marriage.
6. DR. VICKI BELO AND HAYDEN KHO JR. ARE SPOTTED AT THE SHAKE, RATTLE & ROLL 14 PREMIERE. Now, this is what we call a real-life horror story.
7. RIHANNA AND CHRIS BROWN ARE REALLY BACK TOGETHER. Isa ka pa, Rihanna!
8. WITH HER DIVORCE FROM KRIS HUMPHRIES NOT YET FINAL, KIM KARDASHIAN ANNOUNCES THAT SHE’S EXPECTING KANYE WEST’S BABY. Wow, that was fast!
9. SUSPENDED CEBU GOVERNOR GWEN GARCIA REFUSES TO BE OUSTED. Nobody ever goes quietly in this country.
10. ZOO ANIMALS WERE REPORTEDLY TRAUMATIZED BY NEW YEAR EXPLOSIONS. To begin with, they’re already traumatized that they’re in the zoo.
Art by Warren Espejo, with screenshots from news clips and publicity stills.