(SPOT.ph) We list the personalities who experienced highs and lows this week. Admittedly, not all the winners may be ecstatic and not all the losers may be devastated. Life is complicated, folks. Remember: Don’t take everything literally and make sure to read between the lines...if you can find them. It’s up to you to guess when we mean what we say or when we’re putting on the snark. It keeps things interesting.
WINNER: Former police officer Cesar Mancao, who’s involved in the Bubby Dacer-Emmanuel Corbito double murder case, for managing to escape from his NBI detention cell. (We thought we were watching a gag show when we saw this news clip.)
WINNER: Vice President Jejomar Binay, for reminding the people of Butuan City about his daughter Nancy’s Senate bid while he was handing out land titles. (Screw subtlety! It’s crunch time!)
WINNER: Sean Bean, 52, for defending his companion, 22-year-old Playboy bunny April Summers, from a man’s lewd remarks and just shrugging off getting stabbed in the fight that ensued. (How much more "tunay na lalaki" can you get than this?)
WINNER: Marian Rivera, for finally getting into social media. (Her Instagram account is @therealmarian. *stalker mode*)
WINNER: Senate hopeful Jamby Madrigal, for not giving in to peer pressure and simply accepting the fact that she doesn’t like eating pancit without the proper utensils. (It’s better to be sosyal than fake...but be prepared to lose.)
LOSER: The Cebu Yellow Submarine, for allegedly crashing into a coral wall. (So much for a high-tech tourist attraction, huh?)
LOSER: Former teen star Amanda Bynes, now 27, for getting into all kinds of controversies via Twitter. (Hoy, Amanda, anyare?!)
LOSER: The Barretto Family, for letting all their dirty laundry hang out to the point where the public isn’t interested anymore. (We’re still interested!)
LOSERS: Impeached Chief Justice Renato Corona, for claiming that his tax evasion case is part of political persecution. (Whatever you say won’t make much of a difference.)
LOSER: President Noynoy Aquino, for allegedly not knowing about his staff members who play "matchmakers," calling up famous females and setting them up on dates with him. (Quick, form a study group to address this nasty rumor!)
Art by Warren Espejo, with photos from PEP.ph and screenshots from TV shows, news clips, and images posted by fans on PinoyExchange.com.