(SPOT.ph) We list the personalities who experienced highs and lows this week. Admittedly, not all the winners may be ecstatic and not all the losers may be devastated. Life is complicated, folks. Remember: Don’t take everything literally and make sure to read between the lines...if you can find them. It’s up to you to guess when we mean what we say or when we’re putting on the snark. It keeps things interesting.
WINNER: Nancy Binay, for getting way ahead in the Senate race without doing much. (Congratulations, Nancy, people now know your name even if they don’t want to.)
WINNER: Kris Aquino, for telling off Church officials who said she shouldn’t run for office "out of delicadeza." (The words "delicadeza" and "Kris Aquino" don’t belong in the same sentence.)
WINNER: Julia Barretto, for staying cheerful despite the controversies hounding her clan. (We crown you Miss Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.)
WINNER: Imelda Marcos, for saying that she’s no longer into shoes. (As Gwyneth Paltrow said, "I have a very highly developed sense of denial.")
WINNER: Steven Tyler, for being spotted at a convenience store the night before the Aerosmith concert at the SM Mall of Asia Arena. (We wonder what he bought.) Disclaimer: Ministop is owned by the Gokongwei group of companies and SPOT.ph is run by Summit Media, which is also among the said group of companies. However, we did not pay or coerce Steven Tyler to go to Ministop. Likewise, we were not asked by Ministop to mention their name. We decided to mention the store’s name or some readers will think we’re lying about Steven Tyler going to a convenience store. It is not our intention to promote Ministop or Steven Tyler.
LOSER: Peter Robbins, the man who used to be the voice of Charlie Brown, gets probation for stalking and harrassing his ex-girlfriend and her new boyfriend. (Good grief!)
LOSER: COMELEC, because their plan to extend the liquor ban was stopped. (Happy hour, here we come!)
LOSER: Former President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo, who won’t be able to vote in the May 13 polls. (Hospital detention still beats prison.)
LOSERS: Church officials who’ve been telling Kris Aquino not to run for public office, for inadvertently giving her ideas. (Dear God, it seems like she’s really considering doing it.)
LOSER: Marjorie Barretto, for having such intimate, don’t-look-or-you’ll-turn-into-a-pillar-of-salt pictures leaked by yet-unidentified culprits. (You’re lucky your kids love you no matter what.)
Art by Warren Espejo, with photos from PEP.ph and screenshots from TV shows, news clips, and images posted by fans on PinoyExchange.com.