(SPOT.ph) It’s not that these words are dead because who can say that a word has died? Take, for example, the word "hipster". It used to refer to a subculture involving jazz music in the 1940s. That died down eventually and then came low-rise pants that hugged the hips. After that, the word became associated with people in skinny jeans, Casio watches, and other forms of "hipsterity" as we now know it.
Think of language as a face where words are like pimples that appear and reappear. Some leave a more lasting blemish, like these words that we’ve listed for you.
In ye olden days: When a friend offers deep-fried chocolate bars, you say, "No thanks. Nag-rereduce ako"
Modern-day users: Your mom. And our moms, too.
Replaced by: Diet.
Why we think it doesn't work anymore: People are now more vigilant about not eating. It's not just about "reducing" fat anymore. It's about killing fat altogether. Die-t. Get it?
2. Coca-Cola Body
In ye olden days: When you see a hot chick with curves in all the right places, you whisper to your bro, "Pare, Coca-Cola body!" This was back when Coke came in curvy eight-ounce bottles.
Modern-day users: Creeps. Although to be fair, objectifying women and people in general will always be creepy.
Replaced by: It might soon be "starving." For example, "Damn, what does she eat? She looks like she's starving!" in reference to models. But if you do see someone worthy of this title, "hour-glass figure" hasn’t gone out of style.
Why we think it doesn't work anymore: Because Coke is now in cans and 500 ml to 1.5 liter plastic bottles. And of course, skinny is the new sexy. Keep not eating people. Resources are scarce.
In ye olden days: "Sis, tingnan mo! Ganda ng bagong step-in na nabili ko!"
Modern-day users: Our mamas and titas.
Replaced by: Whatever type of shoe you're wearing at the moment (or the brand of it.)
Why we think it doesn't work anymore: They're just not as fashionable as before? You'd probably still call them step-ins if you still wore them but your feet are snug inside some other form of footwear.
Donna Mills for Aqua Net!
4. Aqua Net / Spray Net
In ye olden days: "Anak, paki-abot nga yung Spray Net" or "Makaubos naman ng Aqua net ang ayos mo!"
Modern-day users:We haven't heard anyone say Aqua Net, Spray Net or even hairspray in a while. It might have something to do with the hole in our atmosphere.
Replaced by: Palmolive's No-Comb Revolution, which will soon be replaced by the next jingle that advertisers come up with for hair products.
Why we think it doesn't work anymore: The remake of Hairspray effectively introduced the correct term in our vocabulary but more than that, people began to let their hair down, and straight hair with life of its own became the new thing.
In ye olden days: "Junior, bakit may cutex ka sa kuko mo!?"
Modern-day users:We'd like to think that people now use it to refer to the brand. But then again, people still say Colgate for toothpaste and Kodak for taking pic... wait. No. Instagram.
Replaced by: Plain old "nail polish."
Why we think it doesn't work anymore: We're hoping it's because people read labels more closely now. It could also be a sign of people being brand-conscious.
In ye olden days: You and a group of friends all going, "Saan ang gimik natin tonight, guys?"
Modern-day users: It's hard to tell between people who want to be cool but aren't really getting there or people who are already cool trying to be "ironic."
Replaced by: "Ano’ng lakad natin?"
Why we think it doesn't work anymore: Like the show that the word spawned, it died a natural death. May it rest in peace.
7. Shoe Mart
In ye olden days: Back then, SM was just an acronym (or, techincally, an initialism) for Shoe Mart.
Modern-day users: We're not sure. We caught Ted Failon saying it recently.
Replaced by: Aura. Read it as "aw-ra" to annoy the diction freaks.
Why we think it doesn't work anymore: It wouldn't make sense to call something that deliriously tries to cater to your every need a just "shoe" mart. They want to be super.
In ye olden days: "Tara guys, sing-along tayo this weekend"
Modern-day users: Musicians in concerts asking people to "sing along" if they know the words
Replaced by: Videoke. A word that would mean "video orchestra" in contrast with the Japanese karaoke, which means "empty orchestra."
Why we think it doesn't work anymore: To be frank, it never really made much sense and we suppose that it died to lessen the confusion. You don't really need a machine to "sing along." You just... do.
In ye olden days: You're about to light up a cigarette and your friend tells you, "Hey, you look just like my cousin when you're holding a cigarette. He died of lung cancer." To this you respond, "KJ mo."
Modern-day users: Possibly the same people who were once called KJ, who are trying to be cool and telling other people off about being KJ.
Replaced by: Buzzkill
Why we think it doesn't work anymore: ’Cause you can't kill the joy, fool.
10. Over and Exag!
In ye olden days: When a friend gets a paper cut and suddenly starts acting like someone axed their finger off, you say, "Over!" or "Exag naman 'to!"
Modern-day users: [Insert the sound of pigeons here]
Replaced by: We still hear people saying "OA" and the more apt, overreact.
Why we think it doesn't work anymore: We think it's because people are encouraged to have moments of heightened and, yes, exaggerated expression of feelings so they can sustain their online personas e.g. "OMG, that was the best lunch ever! That longgonisa from the kanto was so divine, I think I saw Jesus while I was eating it!"
Alma Moreno in Bomba Star (1978)
11. Burles, Bold, and the Bomba Star
In ye olden days: "Huy, huwag ka ngang mag-burles diyan!" or "Anak, lalabas kang ganyan? Mukha kang bold!" or "Pangarap ko talagang maging bomba star."
Modern-day users: People who still dream of being bomba stars. It's still an acceptable term when referring to celebrities who rose and made things rise during the golden age of those films.
Replaced by: The more tame term, "daring"
Why we think it doesn't work anymore: Poverty porn became more popular than softcore porn, focusing on literal and not literary garbage. Also, people started eating less and skinny doesn't really scream "bomba."
In ye olden days: "Chong, kuha tayong chibog. Tom Jones na ako."
Modern-day users: Us. Yes, we still use it.
Replaced by: We occasionally hear "lafangs" and then there's the cuter "foodums."
Why we think it doesn't work anymore: It still works, damn it.
In ye olden days: When you are in awe of something someone did, you say, "Nakaka-elibs, pare"
Modern-day users: The same people who can still pull off saying "Hanep!"
Replaced by: "Goleng, goleng nomon!"
Why we think it doesn't work anymore: Elib is a flip of "bilib" and flipping words isn't as fresh as it used to be.
A performance in Singapore where Mike Hanopol explains what jeproks is
In ye olden days: Jeproks was the term for someone cool, calm, and collected at the height of the construction of residential projects around Metro Manila.
Modern-day users: People singing the Mike Hanopol song. And maybe hipsters, who want to revive the word.
Replaced by: Hipsters
Why we think it doesn't work anymore: It's hard to keep track of what's cool. One moment people were all over the emo thing with the hair (which we still can't distinguish from Justin Bieber’s) and the next thing you know, it's hipsters.
15. Nobyo or Nobya
In ye olden days:"Ah, ito ba ang nobya mo?"
Modern-day users: If anyone wants a nobyo or nobya, give us a call. Thanks.
Replaced by: Syota, jowa, FB, ka-momol, ka-hohol, soul mate, etc.
Why we think it doesn't work anymore: We don't know. Sometimes, things just don't work out and the next thing you know, wala ka nang nobyo.