Winners & Losers of the Week: The Minions, Carlo J. Caparas + others

We list who hit the mark and who missed it completely.


We list the personalities who experienced highs and lows this week. Admittedly, not all the winners may be ecstatic and not all the losers may be devastated. Life is complicated, folks. Remember: Don’t take everything literally and make sure to read between the lines...if you can find them. It’s up to you to guess when we mean what we say or when we’re putting on the snark. It keeps things interesting.




WINNER: Robin Padilla, for finally acknowledging that his brother Rustom is now his sister BB Gandanghari. (All together now, "’Yan ang tunay na lalaki!" By the way, comedian Gary Lising revealed that when he was down and out, Robin gave him ₱100,000 even if they weren’t really close friends.)



WINNER: My Lady Boss, for finally showing after being postponed twice. (You know what they say, "Better late than a third postponement.")




WINNER: Manila Mayor Joseph "Erap" Estrada, for vowing to ’clean up" Manila in 100 days. (We hate this expression but it’s quite apt for this: "Weh, di nga?")



WINNER: President Noynoy Aquino, for being photographed in what may be his best angle ever for Esquire Philippines’ July 2013 issue. (And to think there have been jokes going around comparing him to Despicable Me’s cute Minions.)




WINNER: The Minions, for being so hot right now that McDonald’s could no longer keep them in their stores. (We feel for all the frustrated Minions collectors.)

LOSER: Baron Geisler, for facing jail time for acts of lasciviousness. (We want to stop seeing him on this part of the list.)



LOSER: Former military comptroller Carlos Garcia, for having his plea bargain deal blocked by the Supreme Court. (The guy was nabbed for graft so maybe it’s not wise to cut him any slack.)



LOSERS: Maynilad and Manila Water, for being accused of "over-billing" their customers. (Sadly, we can’t say, "This is all water under the bridge.")




<>LOSER: Floyd Mayweather Jr., for calling Manny Pacquiao "a has-been." (Russian philosopher Mikhail Bakunin said, "From the naturalistic point of view, all men are equal. There are only two exceptions to this rule of naturalistic equality: geniuses and idiots." You just have to figure out which group Floyd Jr. belongs to.)




<>LOSER: Carlo J. Caparas, for being accused of not paying his taxes. (What does it profit a man if he becomes a National Artist but gets nabbed for tax evasion? The answer: ₱101.8 million.)


<>Art by Warren Espejo, with photos from and screenshots from, various TV show videos, news clips, and images used by fans in YouTube slideshows.

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