Winners & Losers of the Week: Kris Aquino, Willie Revillame + others

We list who had fun and who didn’t.

 


(SPOT.ph)
We list the personalities who experienced highs and lows this week. Admittedly, not all the winners may be ecstatic and not all the losers may be devastated. Life is complicated, folks. Remember: Don’t take everything literally and make sure to read between the lines...if you can find them. It’s up to you to guess when we mean what we say or when we’re putting on the snark. It keeps things interesting.

 

 

WINNER: Miley Cyrus, for making us temporarily forget her horrible twerking antics at the VMAs by appearing naked on top of a wrecking ball for the video of her song, "Wrecking Ball." (We get it, you’re no longer Hannah Montana.)

 

 

WINNER: Benhur Luy, for daring to blow the whistle on Janet Napoles and for seeming so mild-mannered when he testified at the Senate. (Keep blowing that whistle as hard as you can.)

 

 

WINNER: Jeane Napoles, for being such a diligent Instagram user that there are photos of her with everyone...including the President. (Overheard from an onlooker: "In fairness, mukhang bagay sila.")

 

 

WINNERS: Cosmopolitan Philippines’ current crop of bachelors, for making good girls go bad. (The video speaks for itself.)

 

 

WINNER: Kris Aquino, for riding the MRT and making an event out of it. (Try taking it from Cubao during rush hour every day, too! It’s so wonderful! The people are so nice!)

LOSER: Zamboanga, for being "paralyzed" by the MNLF-AFP clash. (This is a very sad story that seems to have no ending.)

 

 

LOSERS: Metro Manila disorderly drivers and pedestrians, for still not following traffic rules despite the MMDA’s efforts to keep everyone in line. (Does this mean they’d rather be dead or kill others than play it safe?)

 

 

LOSERS: Taxi drivers who fleece their passengers, for being the subject of a crackdown in Makati. (What about in other places?)

 

 

LOSERS: The three million jobless Pinoys, for having no luck finding jobs. (Didn’t they say the economy is getting better?)

 

 

LOSER: Willie Revillame, for losing his show and saying that he can’t beat Eat Bulaga or It’s Showtime because a successful show needs to have "a strong signal." (Slamming TV5’s signal? Ugh. He has a habit of biting the hand that feeds him.)

 

Art by Warren Espejo, with photos from PEP.ph and screenshots from TMZ.com, Facebook fan pages, and various TV show videos, news clips, and images used by fans in YouTube slideshows.

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