10 Stages of Blackout Boredom
Can you survive?
(SPOT.ph) Call it a throwback to the ’90s-blackouts are becoming common again, thanks to the super storms that have been coming our way. It’s like going back to a time when our ancestors lived in caves. What did they do for fun then? Cave drawings? Discovering fire? And as the battery life on your phone goes from 80% to 8%, you’re left to stare into the abyss that is boredom. Boredom during a blackout. No TV, no lights, and no air-conidtioning. If you’ve become a victim of a prolonged blackout, godspeed to you and we hope that it doesn’t go on for too long. You’ll know you’re slowly losing it when you can tick these moments off our list.
Unlike Princess Aurora, there may be no prince coming for you. Wakey wakey!
If it’s a particularly cold night (or day), what’s better than catching up on your z’s? But is there such a thing as too much sleep? When you shut your eyes at night and wake up and it’s the next night...then maybe you’ve got a problem. We can only escape to dreamland for so long. Get out of bed and do something! Anything!
You can do it! You can get through that wall of words.
9. Reading a book
You’ve slept long enough to keep you awake for hours. Maybe it’s time to finally do some reading? Maybe even actually finish a book! A book you can hold in your hands since your Kindle or your iPad has long died. If escaping to dreamland is out of the question, then escaping to a TV series or a movie is out of the question when all gadgets and electronics are useless. Escape, intsead, to the written word! It’s certainly more productive than lying in bed and staring at the ceiling.
"Uh, so...?" (Cricket sounds.)
8. Having a conversation
Done with all the books you can digest? It’s time to interact with the other human beings in the vicinity. Everyone’s phones are dead. You’re gathered around a table and staring at each other. No one can evade interaction by running to check their Facebook feed. Just talking. Okay. How do you do this, again?
"Candlelit dinners are so fun!" you tell yourself for the 8th time.
7. Eating all the food
It will all melt or go rotten soon, anyway, so pig out! Get the ice cream out. Ditto with the beer. If you were struggling with the previous stage, at least holding a conversation over food and drinks (even if it’s melted ice cream and warm beer) is a lot more fun.
6. Finding ways to re-charge your phone
But what else is everybody up to? You’re itching to check social media. You’re itching even more to share your blackout selfies. You’re beginning to think that maybe you can zap your phone back to life somehow. You shut it off and maybe it can go up by 2%? Just enough to give you five minutes to play a round of 2048. You also start to look around the house for some kind of device to re-charge your phone. Can potatoes really get a light bulb to work? Maybe it will do the same for your phone. Hey, at least you’re using your brain instead of staring at a blank space.
This is art.
5. Making wax figures
Time to get creative (and we don’t mean making a potato phone charger). Perhaps night has now descended and you’ve brought out the candles. Gather some of the wax from the melted candles and mold and carve stunning sculptures. Or at least a funny-looking wax man. Or try to make a completely new candle with some string! The possibilities are endless.
"Nobody’s getting voted off tonight. First one to move or make noise is off the island."
4. Playing The Quiet Game and The Don’t Move Game
All optimism and positive energy are ou the window. You think that here is no end to this blackout. You are doomed to live like this forever. Worse of all, it’s hot. So very hot. Fanning yourself only seems to make it worse. Any kind of noise gets your frustrated and sweatier. You want to sleep, but who can sleep in conditions like these? If there’s a tpyhoon raging outside, you definitely can’t crack the windows open for some air. You’ve also been stuck with the same people for three days straight. It’s like Survivor. Time to play The Quiet Game and The Don’t Move Game. First one to make any noise or move gets kicked out.
If you look long enough, you might just see the future.
3. Playing with fire
We don’t mean arson. You’re now trying to see if you’ve developed any mutant powers and testing how long you can place your palm over a candle flame. And let’s see...what little, harmless things can you burn? Hair! Take a strand of hair and hold it to the flame. See how it curls up and sizzles and leaves behind a funny smell. So entertaining!
We recommend playing Light as a Feather before pigging out on everything in your fridge.
2. Calling on the spirits
Maybe there’s salvation in another dimension. Time to bring out the Ouija board and play Spirit of the Glass or maybe hold a candle and stand in front of a mirror... If you’ve resorted to making contact with dead people, we hope you make it to the next stage.
If you restore the electricity, we promise not to be obnoxious about it on Facebook. Amen.
Are you there, God? It’s us, people in the blackout.