All the Teleserye-Worthy Lines We've Heard in the News Lately

Believe it or not, they're for real.

quotes of duque, sara duterte, bong go
ILLUSTRATION War Espejo

(SPOT.ph) There's a reason that Philippine politics is sometimes compared to a circus. We hear a lot of mental gymnastics, we see the most spectacular illusions, and we witness well-practiced posturing. In recent weeks, the news reports and quotable quotes being thrown around by government officials seem to blur the lines between real life and teleseryes. The difference is that their tirades, which range from bouts of self-pity to cringeworthy expression of love, actually affect our lives.

Here's a quick rundown of the most teleserye-worthy lines that have made the news lately:

"Nangako ako sa Pangulo, hindi ko siya iiwanan habang buhay at amin na lang iyon dahil mahal ko ang Pangulo."

In a privilege speech at the senate on August 31, Senator Bong Go gave his defense "against malicious intrigues and innuendos implied by some groups and even a few from [the] Chamber." He decried allegations linking him to anomalies related to the procurement of reportedly overpriced medical goods through former Department of Budget and Management-Procurement Service head Lloyd Christopher Lao. Go, who worked as President Rodrigo Duterte's aide from 2016 to 2018, is allegedly involved because of his closeness and proximity to the president even when he's already serving as a senator.

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"Mr. President, ako po diretsong kausap. Kung may gusto ka pong sabihin at punahin, lapitan niyo lang po ako. Ilang pinto lang ang pagitan ng opisina po natin. Narinig ko pa sa media na sinasabi ng iilan diyan, Senador na ako pero bakit patuloy pa rin akong malapit sa Pangulo. Anong karapatan mo na kwestyunin ang pagiging malapit ko sa Pangulo? Nangako ako sa Pangulo, hindi ko sya iiwanan habang buhay at amin na lang iyon dahil mahal ko ang Pangulo. As long as walang conflict sa trabaho ko at ginagampanan ko ang trabaho ko, wala kang karapatang kwestyunin ito, at wala kang pakialam," he told the body while addressing the Senate President.

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"Winarak na ninyo kami"

Following the Commission on Audit's crackdown on the alleged misuse and unsed P67 billion worth of funds by the Department of Health, Health Secretary Francisco Duque III got emotional during a virtual hearing on August 17.

"Mula noong Wednesday (August 11) na lumabas po ito, hindi na po ako nakakatulog. Ang mga kasama kong mga opisyal sa DOH, hindi na rin halos nakakatulog. Bakit, 'ka ninyo? Sa kahihiyan. We were bloodied and bludgeoned with this issue," he said about the the Commission on Audit's financial report.

He said that his agency was receiving "unfair and unjust" treatment, and that the Audit agency should have considered that they're not operating under normal circumstances.

"Winarak na ninyo kami e. Winarak na ninyo ang dangal ng DOH. Winarak ninyo ang lahat ng mga kasama ko dito," he added, his voice breaking. The outburst, of course, immediately got the meme treatment.

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"I refuse to be a political punching bag for a party in complete disarray."

After conflict emerged within the ruling party PDP-Laban, Davao City Mayor Sara Duterte-Carpio released a statement on August 25 saying that her father confirmed to her personally his decision to run as vice president in 2022 alongside long-time aide Go as president. "It was not a pleasant event," she said as she was presented with two options: to endorse the tandem or run as president alongside Go as vice president.

Duterte-Carpio also urged Senator Koko Pimentel and Ronwald Munsayac to "stop blaming [her] for the sad state of their political party."

"Bugbog na po kami"

As the Philippine Health Insurance Corporation remains under fire amid payment claims by hospitals allegedly going unpaid, PhilHealth president Dante Gierran on August 26 cried foul.

"Ito sasabihin ko na po, bugbog na po kami. I open my heart, bugbog na po kami. No less than 'yan si Dr. Almora, tumawag sa akin, nagso-sorry po sa akin na he was just overreacting," he said during hearing of the House committee on good government and public accountability.

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He pointed out that Philippine Hospitals Association President Dr. Jaime Almora apologized for "overreacting" over the slow disbursement of COVID-19 claims not made under the debit-credit payment method of PhilHealth. "Ito sasabihin ko na, ano ibig sabihin ng overreacting? E nag-overreact lang pala siya. You see? It’s unfair, Mr. Chair, na kami lahat ang mali," Gierran added.

"My advice to you is to lose weight"

Something you probably never thought you'd hear in a presidential address: "lose weight" and "your hairdo is strange." But it happened.

During Duterte's recorded speech televised on August 31, the president particularly eyed Senators Richard Gordon and Panfilo Lacson. "My advice to you is to lose weight so that.... I get dizzy when I look at you. It’s true, even your hairdo is strange, both you and Ping," he said. Gordon is heading the Blue Ribbon Committee that's investigating the questionable purchase of medical supplies and equipment by the Department of Health.

Duterte's spokesperson, Harry Roque, responded to the president's infamous line on September 1: "I may be spokesperson, but I agree, Mr. President, 'wag mo nang sitahin ang katabaan dahil mea culpa, mataba rin ako."

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