Gloria Diaz faces wrath of Cebuanos, Noynoy and Venus get chummy + more lowlights

Cebuanos hate Gloria Diaz right now, Noynoy Aquino meets up with Venus Raj, and more lowlights.

 

1. DOH RUSHES DISTRIBUTION OF SOON-TO-BE-EXPIRED A(H1N1) VACCINES. Here we go again.

 

2. MANILA MAYOR ALFREDO LIM AND OTHER GOVERNMENT OFFICIALS QUESTIONED ABOUT HOSTAGE-TAKING SNAFU. We’ve got the perfect title for this episode in Lim’s life: Freddy Got Fingered.

 

3. HOUSES NEAR PHILIPPINE DRUG ENFORCEMENT AGENCY (PDEA) OFFICE RAIDED FOR SHABU TRADING. Did those drug pushers have balls or what?

 

4. MEMBERS OF VOLUNTEERS AGAINST CRIME AND CORRUPTION (VACC) OFFER PRAYERS FOR SLAIN QUIRINO GRANDSTAND HOSTAGES. Prayers are great, but they need justice, goddamnit.

 

5. DILG UNDERSECRETARY RICO PUNO REVEALS THAT PRESIDENT NOYNOY HAD PLANNED TO PERSONALLY SPEAK TO HOSTAGE-TAKER ROLANDO MENDOZA. Shoulda, woulda, coulda = Nada.

6. SEPTEMBER IS OZONE MONTH, CELEBRATED WITH "GREEN REMINDERS" AND MASCOTS. How about an Anti-Corruption Month, where dirty politicians can serve as living piñatas?

 

7. FINDINGS SHOW THAT IN 2009 SOME MWSS EXECS GOT BONUSES EQUIVALENT TO 25 MONTHS’ SALARY. Where do we send our résumés?

 

8. MISS UNIVERSE 1969 GLORIA DIAZ GETS SLAMMED BY CEBUANOS FOR HER CONTROVERSIAL STATEMENT. Give the poor woman a break--she’s has got a severe case of foot-in-mouth disease.

 

9. BB. PILIPINAS UNIVERSE 201O VENUS RAJ PAYS COURTESY CALL TO PRESIDENT NOYNOY AQUINO, WHO GIVES HER ADVICE ABOUT KEEPING HER PRIVACY. Take it from Kris...don’t listen to him.

 

10. DISCOVERY CHANNEL HEADQUARTERS HOSTAGE-TAKER SHOT DEAD IN WASHINGTON D.C., REPORTS REVEAL HE WANTED THE CHANNEL TO AIR "PROGRAMS ENCOURAGING HUMAN STERILIZATION AND INFERTILITY." Well, it’s a good thing that he has been been "terminally sterilized."

 

Art by Warren Espejo.

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