Nora Aunor is "smoking hot," Marc Logan praises Lito Lapid’s English, Derek Ramsay’s DNA + more lowlights

Plus, P-Noy greets Shalani and Roman, and other crazy news.

 

1. RUNNING PRIEST FATHER ROBERT REYES CRITICIZES NORA AUNOR FOR POSING WITH A CIGARETTE ON THE COVER OF YES! MAGAZINE. If "an idle brain is the Devil’s workshop," then it’s time to call a brain exorcist. (You can run, but you can’t hide!!!)

 

2. SRI LANKA PLANS TO DONATE A BABY ELEPHANT TO THE PHILIPPINES. It’s the thought that counts, but please spare that elephant from a wretched life in an inadequate  zoo.

3. EXPERTS CONTINUE TO URGE PEOPLE TO HAVE A HEALTHY LIFESTYLE. Reality: It takes a near-death experience to convince people to be healthy.

 

4. STUDENTS RESORT TO PLANKING TO PROTEST THE SLASHING OF THE EDUCATION BUDGET. Well, it’s way better than burning an effigy.

 

5. DEREK RAMSAY SAYS HE’S READY FOR A DNA TEST TO PROVE THAT HE ISN’T SOMEONE’S "BABY DADDY." Epiphany: there are men who are OK with being called "Daddy" or "Papa"...just not by a baby.

 

6. PHILIPPINE AIRLINES EMPLOYEES ON STRIKE, STRANDED PASSENGERS IRKED. Because misery loves unwilling company.

7. CIVIL SERVICE COMMISSION CELEBRATES ANNIVERSARY BY GIVING FREE MRT AND LRT RIDES FOR GOVERNMENT EMPLOYEES. How about gving them raises? (There’s a reason why most of them look pissed all the time.)

 

8. TWO PHILPOST EMPLOYEES SUSPENDED AFTER BEING CAUGHT TRYING TO SNEAK A PACKAGE PAST CUSTOMS OFFICIALS. Chalk it up to early Christmas fundraising efforts.

 

9. ABS-CBN’S QUIRKY NEWS EXPERT MARC LOGAN PROVES THAT LITO LAPID CAN SPEAK ENGLISH. After watching the witty and hilarious segment, we therefore conclude that Marc Logan deserves to be a senator more than Lito Lapid. (Watch the video!!!)

 

10. P-NOY GREETS SHALANI SOLEDAD AND REP. ROMAN ROMULO ON THEIR ENGAGEMENT, THE TWO THANK HIM. Theme song suggestions, anyone?

 

Art by Warren Espejo.

Screenshots for Nos. 1, 5, 9, and 10 all from ABS-CBN News videos uploaded on ABS-CBNNews.com.

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