GMA’s medical drama, P-Noy’s generous offer, the Kardashians get spoofed + more lowlights
Plus, Mikey Arroyo’s outburst, Abigail Valte’s lipstick, and more off-kilter tales.
1. CATERPILLAR RIDE IN VALENZUELA CITY AMUSEMENT PARK MALFUNCTIONS, ONE MAN DIES AND SEVERAL OTHERS ARE INJURED. Surprise, surprise the amusement park was operating without a permit.
2. THE VALENZUELA CITY AMUSEMENT PARK IS CLOSED AFTER THE ACCIDENT. It’ll probably reopen just before Christmas since it didn’t register a double-digit death toll.
3. P-NOY SAYS THE GOVERNMENT IS WILLING TO PAY FOR GLORIA MACAPAGAL-ARROYO’S DOCTORS BUT SHE REFUSES. Bring out the champagne-somebody has met her delicadeza quota for the next 50 years!
4. DOJ SECRETARY LEILA DE LIMA SLAMMED FOR BLOCKING GMA’S TRAVEL PLANS. Ma’am, have you considered going with GMA? (You get a vacation, she gets a foreign operation, P-Noy gets a relatively happy sensation.)
5. CNN TAGS NAIA 1 AS ONE OF THE WORLD’S MOST HATED AIRPORTS. The only surprise was that we didn’t top the list.
6. PINOYS SUPPORT THE CAMPAIGN TO HAVE THE PUERTO PRINCESA UNDERGROUND RIVER DECLARED AS ONE OF THE WORLD’S NEW WONDERS OF NATURE. Pitch to foreign tourists: It’s so beautiful that when you get there, you’ll forget that you hate the airport.
7. REP. MIKEY ARROYO GETS MAD WHEN HE AND WIFE ANGELA ARE JOSTLED BY REPORTERS. Chivalry is alive and well. (Unfortunately, his temper is, too.)
8. SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE TAKES ON THE KARDASHIANS WITH THE SPOOF, KIM’S FAIRYTALE DIVORCE. It’s a tall order to spoof people who seem to be spoofing real life. (But SNL nails it! Click this link to watch the video.)
9. GMA’S SPOKESPERSON MA. ELENA "LEN" BAUTISTA-HORN SAYS SHE REMEMBERS THE SHADE OF P-NOY’S DEPUTY SPOKESPERSON ABIGAIL VALTE’S LIPSTICK WHEN THEY DISCUSSED GMA’S TRAVEL REQUEST. Cattiness and cosmetics... What is this? A hostile beauty pageant?
10. ABIGAIL VALTE RESPONDS TO THE "LIPSTICK COMMENT." Needless to say, she’s no Miss Congeniality.
Art by Warren Espejo. Screenshots from GMA News videos and a Saturday Night Live clip uploaded on YouTube.