Are Weddings in the Philippines Too Performative?

(SPOT.ph) Weddings have always followed a script: the walk down the aisle, the vows, the obligatory photos with relatives you barely know. In the age of social media, this list has only grown. You’re no longer just marking a milestone for the people in the room—you’re also creating something meant be on the internet forever. It's a lot of pressure to look as perfect as possible.

It’s no surprise, then, that Filipinos have plenty to say about whether weddings are becoming too “performative.”

That conversation gained traction after Bilyonaryo interviewed wedding videographer Jason Magbanua, who explained how local weddings differ from those abroad. He described European weddings as “a lot more organic” than what we're used to in the Philippines which has a strict, often packed schedule, especially when a same-day edit (SDE) is involved. A short clip from the interview made rounds on TikTok, where users stitched it with their own takes—many agreeing that local weddings are becoming a whole production.

So have weddings become more performative in the Philippines? If so, is that necessarily a bad thing? To find out, SPOT.ph spoke to wedding photographers and videographers to hear from the people behind the scenes.

Also read: How a P299 Engagement Ring Sparked Public Debate on What it Means to Love in the PH

Interestingly, all of them agree with the criticism—at least to a point.

“Performative might sound harsh, but it’s the reality of things nowadays for Philippine weddings,” Rainwalker Photography tells SPOT.ph. They point out how many couples now come in with fully curated pegs—Pinterest boards, TikTok saves, even shot lists. “Things like this has become a challenge to us. How do you strike the balance between the real essence of weddings versus how social media dictates how it should be?”

For DML Photography, there’s no question that the rise of social media paved the way for these practices. A wedding is no longer just a wedding but also “highly visible content.”

It’s easy to slap the label “performative” on all of this, especially when you’re watching from the outside. But as people behind the cameras point out, it’s often less about putting on a show and more about being intentional. For many couples, this is simply the language they're using now to tell their story—because that’s the era we’re in. Just because a wedding looks polished on camera doesn’t mean the feelings are fake.

“We don’t believe this is inherently a bad thing. For many couples, this performative element is simply another form of self-expression,” DML Photography tells SPOT.ph. “Weddings have always reflected the culture and values of their time, and today’s generation happens to be fluent in visual storytelling. Wanting a well-produced celebration doesn’t automatically mean the emotions are any less real—it just means they’re being presented more intentionally.”

ODS Productions shares the same perspective: “Same-day edits have made couples more aware of how moments are framed, but that awareness doesn’t automatically make them feel staged.”

There’s also a cultural layer to all this. According to The Makers Studios, Filipinos are highly adaptive—and often quick to emulate ideas they see elsewhere—which helps explain why certain wedding templates or trends catch on fast.

The issue isn't so much about having nice photos (everyone wants that!) as it is about the “SDE-first” mindset: 5 a.m. prep for a 2 p.m. ceremony, fake laughter for the camera, and TikTok-style entrances that get so visibly awkward when half the entourage doesn’t want to dance. A lot of the frustration is also practical: guests are unable to proceed to the reception dinner since the couple is still in the middle of a shoot.

Less talked about is how much of this comes down to deliverables. Wedding photographers and videographers aren’t just documenting the event—they’re working toward a fixed set of promised outputs.

“I think it becomes performative because photographers and videographers have a certain number of deliverables they promised their clients, i.e., 400 edited photos, 15-minute videos, so that’s also a factor,” With Us tells SPOT.ph. When the end goal is a specific number of photos, the focus will naturally shift to making sure every key shot is secured.

The exasperation with this practice is why some couples now look for a different kind of coverage altogether. Event content creators like With Us have emerged to capture the raw, unfiltered moments that happen alongside the main coverage—especially while the “official” cameras are busy directing scenes.

With Us also points out that while candid, authentic moments are ideal in theory, they’re not always easy to capture in real life. Crowds get in the way, angles get blocked, lighting is off, or a dress doesn’t sit right in the frame. Not every moment happens cleanly in front of a camera—and that’s part of why some scenes end up being repeated or adjusted, even when the goal is to make everything feel natural.

“That’s why the ‘pwede paulit nitong pose’ comes into play... I see it as safety shots,” With Us says.

At the same time, some level of choreography can't be helped. The Maker Studios explains that directing couples on what to do or how to act is just a matter of assisting them look comfortable on camera. Not everyone is naturally expressive, and without a bit of direction, moments can come off stiff or underwhelming on screen. That kind of magic you see in photos and videos doesn’t happen on its own.

"Many couples are naturally camera-shy, so filmmakers provide direction to guide them in showing their emotions and interactions more comfortably on camera," The Makers Studios says. ODS Productions adds that part of the work is figuring out how to shoot moments couples want, even when those moments don’t come naturally to them: "It can be a challenge to make these scenes feel genuine, but ultimately it’s what the couple wants. Our role is to recreate what they’ve imagined and help make it their own, so they can enjoy it fully."

Like it or not, weddings are performances—a very expensive one—meant to lay out your commitment to your partner for the world to see. Given the cost, why not make it picture-perfect? Rightclick Photography argues that choreography can actually make a wedding more memorable. When done right, it creates flow and allows couples to fully experience the day they’ve worked so hard to plan.

“Although some may say it removes the essence of sacredness, from our creative perspective, it actually becomes more memorable... It also shows our viewers that a wedding can be creatively and artistically choreographed for a smooth flow, resulting in memories that will last a lifetime,” Rightclick Photography says.

But even they’ll admit there’s a limit to how much structure a wedding needs. When couples are pulling ideas from Pinterest boards, TikTok trends, and viral SDEs all at once, choosing what to keep—and what to let go—becomes just as important.

Rainwalker Photography notes that "balance should always, always be attained, especially for once-in-a-lifetime events like weddings. There's just too much information present nowadays that you have to be a smart bride- or groom-to-be to filter out what's realistic and achievable on your wedding day."

Whatever you feel about weddings, the photographers and videographers we spoke to kept coming back to the same point: it only starts to become problematic when couples feel pressured to replicate moments rather than make choices that reflect them.

“At the end of the day, weddings should still center on the couple’s story. A well-choreographed celebration can be beautiful and memorable—as long as it remains authentic to who they are, and not just optimized for the camera,” DML Photography says.

"It’s still most important for couples to stay true to their preferences and personalities... Not every trend needs to be followed, and it’s perfectly okay to keep things simple and personal," The Maker Studios says.

So are weddings performative in the Philippines? Definitely. Is that necessarily a bad thing? It depends. Some couples want a cinematic version of this memory; others just want to eat on time. As they say: not your wedding, not your money, not your problem.

Also read: 10 Gorgeous Chapels Across the Philippines for a Picture-Perfect Wedding