Baron strikes again, Robin’s not the dad + more lowlights

Plus, the carjacking crisis, MRT mishaps, Lovi Poe, and the P-Noy-Mar Bromance.

 

 

 

 

1. THE POLICE GIVE ANTI-CARJACKING TIPS, TELLS WOMEN DRIVERS NOT TO LEAVE "GIRLY CLUES" IN THEIR CARS. Best tip of all: Don’t buy a car.

 

2. ASKED ABOUT THEIR FAKE GETUP, TWO MMDA PERSONNEL NABBED FOR POSING AS COPS ADMIT, "KAMI LANG PO ANG NAGPATAHI NITO." This joke goes beyond just writing itself.

 

3. P-NOY PAVES THE WAY FOR MAR ROXAS’ RETURN TO THE POLITICAL SCENE. So much love...and it isn’t even V-Day yet.

 

4. POLICE SAY QUEZON CITY HAS THE MOST CASES CARJACKING IN METRO MANILA. And on top of that, the Batasang Pambansa Complex is located in QC.

 

5. US COURT AWARDS $7.5 MILLION TO MARCOS ERA HUMAN RIGHTS VICTIMS, WHICH MEANS EACH VICTIM GETS $1,000 ( A LITTLE OVER P44,000). Behold, a bad joke.

 

6. AFTER THE ESCALATOR MISHAP AT THE AYALA AVENUE STATION, MRT OPERATIONS GET STALLED DUE TO DAMAGED BRAKE PAD. Q: Ano ang susunod na masisira sa MRT? A: Ang mga ulo ng mga mananakay.

 

7. RECENTLY ACCUSED OF SEXUALLY HARASSING CHERRY PIE PICACHE, BARON GEISLER FACES HIS OTHER ALLEGED VICTIM, YASMIEN KURDI, IN COURT. He cuts across all age groups.

 

 

8. LOVI POE STILL REFUSES TO TALK ABOUT RUMORED BOYFRIEND REP. RONALD SINGSON. You know it’s a slow news day when you see a Lovi Poe segment.

 

9. RAYMART SANTIAGO TAKES UP AERIAL VIDEOGRAPHY. It beats playing a dog in Bantatay, right?

 

10. FINALLY, JOBELLE SALVADOR ADMITS THAT HER ELDEST CHILD ISN’T ROBIN PADILLA’S SON. Ironically, having one less offspring makes Robin Padilla more of a man.

 

Art by Warren Espejo.

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