P-Noy’s hot over Merci, Jon Hall and Michelle Madrigal are over + more lowlights
Plus, Nonito Donaire shares "sexy photos" of wife Rachel, Carlos Celdran caught on cam taking down anti-RH streamer + more lowlights.
1. FORMER AFP COMPTROLLER JACINTO LIGOT, WHO’S ACCUSED OF GRAFT, IS DETAINED AT THE SENATE FOR "CONTEMPT." Lesson: Steal at least P740 million and you get to go to a nicer jail.
2. VICE PRESIDENT JEJOMAR BINAY GETS HIGHER APPROVAL AND TRUST RATINGS THAN P-NOY IN PULSE ASIA SURVEY. Mr. President, start sending each Pinoy a birthday cake ASAP.
3. CAUGHT ON CCTV: TOP TOUR GUY CARLOS CELDRAN TAKING DOWN AN ANTI-RH BILL STREAMER. Suggestion for next protest move: A condom confetti shower all over Barangay Ayala Alabang.
4. SENIOR CITIZEN MAY BE CHARGED WITH FRUSTRATED HOMICIDE FOR ALLEGEDLY SHOOTING THE GUYS WHO WERE CAUGHT ROBBING HIS HOME. Congratulations, this has brought so much hope to robbers all over the country.
5. MARLENE AGUILAR AND JASON IVLER HAVE A MOTHER-AND-SON MELTDOWN IN A QUEZON CITY COURT. This is more entertaining than the short-lived primetime soap Machete.
6. "FRIDAY" GIRL REBECCA BLACK GAINS SOME KIND OF FAME. Because you shouldn’t let the lack of talent stop you from becoming popular.
7. NONITO DONAIRE SHARES "SEXY PHOTOS" OF HIS WIFE RACHEL. We’re trying to find another word for "awkward," but we can’t.
8. INFORMAL SETTLERS IN SAN JUAN GEAR UP FOR A "BATTLE." Ahhhh, we love the smell of idiocy-fueled righteous anger.
9. P-NOY WANTS OMBUDSMAN MERCEDITAS GUTIERREZ OUT. This is the first time we’ve seen him so obviously "hot" over a woman.
10. JON HALL AND MICHELLE MADRIGAL CALL IT QUITS. Once you’ve seen your partner without his eyebrows, there’s no way for your relationship to survive.
Art by Warren Espejo.