As kids, we were told to be extra-good during Holy Week because Jesus Christ wouldn't be around. We thought that the devil and his cohorts were more daring than usual during Jesus' so-called "leave of absence."
In the spirit of that childhood fear–and because we're sick and tired of the saintly movie and TV series marathons that's usually shown during this time of the year–SPOT.ph has come up with a list of demon films. Some are horrific and others are somewhat hilarious, but they're definitely more effective at reminding us to be good than 7th Heaven.
1. Drag Me to Hell (2009)
Scary story: Evil Dead director Sam Raimi's campy horror flick drew both screams and chuckles. It tells the story of Christine Brown, a woman who's trying to postpone her descent into hell. If a possessed goat, inappropriate dancing, and kitty massacre aren't funny enough, the wrestling match between the heroine and a crazed gypsy woman with staple wires on her forehead surely takes the cake.
Demonic dialogue: "You tricked me, you black-hearted who-o-o-o-o-ore! You b-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-itch!" exclaimed the possessed goat.
2. Constantine (2005)
Scary story: Fresh off The Matrix, Keanu Reeves donned a black suit to play the chain-smoking exorcist John Constantine in a mission to stop the world from becoming a demonic wonderland. A fiery Los Angeles and a drenched Rachel Weisz are the movie's added attractions.
Demonic dialogue: A demon starts speaking in Tagalog: "Papatayin natin s'ya!"
3. The Devil's Advocate (1997)
Scary story: Al Pacino is the dapper devil in this movie. He calls himself John Milton, after the writer of Paradise Lost. Instead of the traditional horns and red tail, he snappy suits as he manipulates innocent people to carry out his dastardly deeds. Does he remind you of your boss?
Demonic dialogue: John Milton delivers a memorable blasphemous lecture, saying, "God likes to watch. He's a prankster. Think about it. He gives man instincts. He gives you this extraordinary gift, and then what does He do, I swear for His own amusement, His own private, cosmic gag reel, He sets the rules in opposition. It's the goof of all time. Look but don't touch. Touch, but don't taste. Taste, don't swallow. And while you're jumpin' from one foot to the next, what is he doing? He's laughin' His sick, fuckin' ass off! He's a tight-ass! He's a sadist! He's an absentee landlord!"
4. Little Nicky (2000)
Scary story: Adam Sandler plays Nicky, the son of Satan (Harvey Keitel) and a ditzy angel (Reese Witherspoon), in this scatterbrained comedy. Although this Sandler flick was a total bust, we have to admit the casting was inspired. And, oh, Nicky's talking pug, Mr. Beefy provides cute comic relief. The only thing scary about this movie is if you're forced to watch it over and over again.
Demonic dialogue: One of Nicky's half-brothers, Adrian (Rhys Ifans), tells him, "You can't beat me Nicky, even the voice inside your head has a speech impediment!"
5. The Exorcism of Emily Rose (2005)
Scary story: If you think one demon possessing somebody is freaky enough, try six. In this flick, a troop of heavyweight devils are determined to take up residence in the body of Emily Rose (Jennifer Carpenter of the serial killer series, Dexter), a Catholic college student. It would have been an awesome nail biter but the courtroom drama anchors it to reality.
Demonic dialogue: Overtaken by demons, Emily Rose (or what looks like her) blurts out to her would-be-exorcist, "You think you can force me out, priest?"
6. Rosemary's Baby (1968)
Scary story: When you know for a fact that you're carrying the spawn of Satan in your womb, you're not exactly going to start buying cute baby stuff. This, of course, drives Rosemary kind of crazy. This disturbing Roman Polanski thriller features a nightmare sequence that has the devil getting it on with poor Rosemary. Then again, even after knowing that her husband orchestrated her date with the devil, Rosemary stills stays with him. Somebody needs to stage an intervention with this woman.
Demonic dialogue: Experiencing a crisis of faith, Rosemary reveals, "I was brought up a Catholic...now, I don't know."
7. Fallen (1998)
Scary story: This underrated demon flick showcases superb acting by Denzel Washington, who plays a cop who is after a serial killer who later "mutates" into a diabolical force who calls itself Azazel and hops from one body to another.
Demonic dialogue: The devil announces his presence by singing, "Time is on my side." This is from a Rolling Stones song. (Yes, the demon has got taste.)
8. Hellraiser (1987)
Scary story: Puzzles are fun–but not if they unleash demons who want to bring you to hell.This gory Clive Barker masterpiece is the story of Larry and Julia, a couple who move into an old house where what's left of the guy's half-brother, Frank, resides. The disembodied Frank, who once had an affair with Julia, is the victim of a trio of demons called Cenobites, who he had inadvertently unleashed when he fiddled with an antique puzzle box.
Demonic dialogue: "No tears, please. It's a waste of good suffering," says the lead Cenobite, who is more popularly known as Pinhead.
9. The Omen (1976)
Scary story: If Satan had a lovechild with a jackal (yes, the actual animal), you'd never expect him to look as sweet and as innocent as Damien Thorn, a young boy whose presence alone caused the grisly deaths of people around him. Damien has become synonymous with evil children. Gregory Peck plays Robert Thorn, an American ambassador to Italy who ends up being Damien's unwitting foster father.
Demonic dialogue: Little Damien pleads for his life when his dad tries to "send him back to hell." "Please, Daddy! No, Daddy, no!" he screams. (It's not the words that are chilling, it's the fact that the devil can take on such a cute form so that you'd hesitate to kill him.)
10. The Exorcist (1973)
Scary story: More than two decades since its release, the movie still lives up to its reputation as the scariest movie ever made. A young Linda Blair played Regan MacNeil, a girl possessed by Satan himself. The film's sacrilegious scenes involving a bloody crucifix, heavy cursing, bed levitation, projectile vomit, and a 360-degree head spin (not to mention the iconic deleted spider walk) are still causing nightmares up to this day.
Demonic dialogue: "What an excellent day for an exorcism," says the demon to the priest.
SPOT.ph wants to know: What's your favorite demon movie?