10 Movie Inventions That Should Be Useful in Manila

We should probably have these by now.


(SPOT.ph) Behind a bustling charm, it’s no secret that Manila has its problems. Traffic jams, pollution, overcrowding, dirty politics. Sometimes, when we watch sci-fi and other films, we sigh wistfully at the gadgets we know can help alleviate the situation. We list the 10 incredible inventions that we wish tech companies would get a move on in mass-producing.



The list is not ranked.


1. Universal Remote Control from Click (2006)

The Invention: It’s not only good for your television or your home appliances. You can pause, rewind, fast forward, stop anything. Yes, anything in your life. You can even get an instant tan if you look washed out.


Useful for: Skipping traffic or speeding up office hours, muting the heck out of politicians’ nonsensical bickering and shennanigans or just keeping your chatty seatmate quiet.

The possiblities are endless, all in a press of a button. Just remember to appreciate life and be patient.




2. The FLDSMDFR from Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs (2009)


The Invention: Using microwave radiation to transform water into food, the Floyd Lockwood Diatonic Super Mutating Dynamic Food Replicato (or the FLDSMDFR for short) is just exactly what we need. All you have to do is type in a coded menu for whatever food you wish and viola, breakfast, lunch, dinner, and everything in between is served! Just think of all the wonderful food this machine can make without having to spend a dime.

Useful for: Solving hunger everywhere! Water shortage is a different problem.




3. Willy Wonka Gum from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (1971) and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005)

The Invention: A three-set meal: appetizer, the main course, and dessert in one piece of gum. Yum! (We hope Mr. Willy Wonka has finally figured out how to stop people from turning into blueberries after the blueberry pie phase.)

Useful for: Appeasing your grumbling tummy when you’re stuck in rush hour. It might be handy in the office too, especially when you’re beating deadlines, with no time for a lunch break. Also: people who can’t cook, people who have no patience for washing dishes. We do hope there are more course options.



4. Lasso of Truth from Wonder Woman (1975)

The Invention: It’s no ordinary rope. Beware because this lasso forces anyone it captures to tell the truth. Just put the lasso around the subject (not too tight, of course), hold the ends, and ask away. It beats Veritaserum.

Useful for: The judicial process, our politicians and government leaders. A case won’t take years to be closed. We won’t need to lose sleep at night wondering who’s part of the PDAF Scam, if Benhur Luy telling the truth, and what really happened to Pepsi Paloma.





5. Medical Bays from Elysium (2013)

The Invention: Fully automated and based on nanotechnology in the medical field, it can diagnose, restructure, and cure all physical injuries, imperfections, and diseases. Immortality is practically within reach!

Useful for: Healing all injuries in this accident-prone town (no matter how near-death) or treating wide-spread diseases. It’s also perfect for cosmetic surgery enthusiasts. Watch out, plastic surgeons, this machine is coming for you.




6. Hoverboard from Back to the Future franchise (1985)

The Invention: Marty McFly has arguably some of the coolest stuff ever in film history. The hoverboard is one classic we can’t take our eyes off. It looks like a skateboard without wheels, and the best part is that it levitates.

Useful for: Ending traffic woes. Always look forward to commuting with this one. Not only will you get to your destination on time (or even earlier), you get to hop on a cool ride, too. Plus, it’s probably the closest thing you’ll get to flying. With wheels (or none) like these, you won’t need to gas up. Hooray for more conservation!





7. Phone implant from Total Recall (2012)

The Invention: A phone is implanted in your hand. When making calls, the phone lights up under your palm and all you have to do is hold your hand to your ear to answer calls. Need a screen? No worries. Just place your hand on any piece of glass. We repeat, any.

Useful for: Commuting. You don’t have to worry when answering important calls in public places. Lurking snatchers in the area won’t notice a thing. We’d modify this device by putting in text messaging, music, apps too, and maybe a camera?




8. Robocop suit by Robocop (1987)

The Invention: A high-tech machine designed with in-suit weapons and combines attributes of robot and cop (thus the name).

Useful for: Our policemen. We feel this is closer to reality that Tony Stark’s Ironman suit. Our PNP will get a much needed upgrade and fighting crime will not only be easier, it’s going to look totally bad ass too. You’ll feel safe with these guys around.





9. Neuralizer from Men in Black (1997)

The Invention: Depending on the chosen settings, it completely erases your memories from the past few minutes, days, months, or years in a bright flash.

Useful for: Erasing traumatic experiences and love problems. This is an ideal invention to mechanically refresh your memory from negativity. Start anew as you please but strictly under these circumstances.





10. Hofmann Lenses from They Live (1988)

The Invention: These are more than just your basic pair of sunnies. They’re pretty stylish so while people see you as a trendsetter, you’re actually be reading hidden messages in your surroundings.

Useful for: Just about everything. Imagine all the bucks you’ll save once you get to see the real messages behind ads. Also, you won’t ever get scammed, robbed, mugged, scandalized, or tricked ever again because you get to easily see people’s ulterior motives. The media and government can never be sublimal about anything again. With this handy accessory, transparency will be apparent everywhere.

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