The Hit Least: Last week's lowlights in news and pop culture

A roundup of the past week's lowlights in news and pop culture.

  

  

  

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A roundup of the past week's lowlights in news and pop culture.

1.       DOH STRONGLY ADVISES MANNY PACQUIAO TO POSTPONE HIS RETURN TRIP OVER FEARS OF SWINE FLU INFESTATIONS IN CALIFORNIA AND NEVADA. But local health officials say Pacman's balikbayan boxes can come right on home.

2.       SOME LAWMAKERS WHO WATCHED PACQUIAO BOUT ALSO REFUSE TO UNDERGO PRECAUTIONARY QUARANTINE, CITING HEAVY WORKLOAD. Because spreading a possibly lethal virus to their constituents is part of a Congressional mandate.

3.       PACQUIAO CONFIRMS TO CNN THAT HE PLANS TO RUN FOR A CONGRESSIONAL SEAT IN SARANGANI. So that leaves Andrew Cunanan to represent the Philippines in TIME's 100 Most Influential People list.

4.       PHILIPPINE CUSTOMS TO TAX IMPORTED BOOKS. Given that the Twilight books were such a hit here, it's obvious that after conquering mass media, vampires have now set their sights on government.

5.       KEIFER SUTHERLAND CHARGED FOR HEAD-BUTTING A FASHION DESIGNER WHO MAY HAVE JOSTLED BROOKE SHIELDS AT MUSEUM GALA. Who knew Jack Bauer was a big fan of Lipstick Jungle?

6.       PEP INVESTIGATION INTO NON-INCIDENT AT DIRECTOR MARK REYES' PARTY REVEALS RICHARD GUTIERREZ WAS CARRYING A GUN WITH AN EXPIRED LICENSE AND HAS LICENSES FOR TWO MORE. Because you never know what those Zorro fans are capable of.

7.       MATTHEW McCONAUGHEY APPEARS IN NEW ROMANTIC COMEDY GHOSTS OF GIRLFRIENDS PAST. After Failure to Launch and Fools' Gold, he has enough material for a sequel: Ghosts of Crappy Movies Past.

8.       MEXICAN PRIEST ALFREDO CUTIE DISCHARGED FROM DUTIES AFTER HE IS PHOTOGRAPHED LOUNGING IN BEACH WITH WOMAN IN A TWO-PIECE BIKINI. Meanwhile, parishioners in another Miami parish start to express doubts about their priest, Gustavo Rapist.

9.       BARACK OBAMA AND ASHTON KUTCHER NAMED IN LIST OF MOST INFLUENTIAL TWITTERERS. In another poll, government officials behind the new book tax are named in list of most influential twits.

10.       CAST CALLS NEW STAR TREK MOVIE "BALLISTIC" AND "SEXY". Trekkies everywhere break out their strawberry-flavored phasers.

  

Image of Manny Pacquiao from pep.ph.

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