The Hit Least #3: Last week's lowlights in news and pop culture

6. CHACE CRAWFORD NAMED LEAD OF FOOTLOOSE REMAKE. Spotted: Nate Archibald celebrating to continuous iPod loop of "Let's Hear It for the Boy" xoxo

A roundup of last week's lowlights in news and pop culture.

1. GOVERNMENT ADMONISHES THE PUBLIC NOT TO DOWNLOAD AND VIEW KATRINA HALILI-HAYDEN KHO SEX VIDEO. Because that is what the public does: listen to politicians.

2. IN AN IMPASSIONED BLOG ENTRY, PEP EDITOR-IN--CHIEF JO-ANN MAGLIPON SAYS THAT WATCHING SEX VIDEOS "DIMINISHES US ALL." While organizing dinner parties around sex videos and munching on potato chips while viewing them "expands us all."

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3. SEN. BONG REVILLA THREATENS ALEC BALDWIN WITH A BEATING OVER FILIPINA MAIL-ORDER BRIDE JOKE MADE IN TALKSHOW APPEARANCE. After calling Hayden Kho a "pervert" and a "maniac" over his sex video with Katrina Halili, the senator better watch it: he might be declared an honorary woman.

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4. KRIS ALLEN CROWNED IDOL SEASON 8 WINNER OVER HEAVY FAVORITE ADAM LAMBERT. As Bible-Belt, middle Americans rejoice in the triumph of tradition over talent, Lambert seeks solace from big American Idol losers Chris Daughtry and Jennifer Hudson.

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5. MEL GIBSON REPORTEDLY KNOCKS UP RUSSIAN GIRLFRIEND. But if the baby turns out black, we'll know it's really Danny Glover's.

6. CHACE CRAWFORD NAMED LEAD OF FOOTLOOSE REMAKE. Spotted: Nate Archibald celebrating to continuous iPod loop of "Let's Hear It for the Boy" xoxo

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7. 242 STUDENTS FROM WILLIAM AND MARY COLLEGE SET NEW RECORD FOR DANCING TO MICHAEL JACKSON'S "THRILLER." When will these clueless Americans realize that Filipino inmates do it better?

8. MALE CONTRACEPTION IN PILL, PATCH, GEL, AND INJECTION FORMS SOON TO BE AVAILABLE IN THE U.S. How soon before men forget and complain to their partners that they're late?

9. ARCHBISHOP OSCAR CRUZ INSTRUCTS FLOCK IN PANGASINAN TO SHUN GAWAD KALINGA PROJECTS BECAUSE HABITAT-BUILDING CHARITY ACCEPTS DONATIONS FROM ADVOCATES OF POPULATION CONTROL. Because being homeless is more fun when you have more kids.

10. AUSTRALIAN STUDY SHOWS THAT TALL PEOPLE ARE PAID MORE. Maybe I should start wearing heels while I write this column.

To read previous Hit Leasts, click here.

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