The Hit Least #4: Last week's lowlights in news and pop culture

7. BARON GEISLER CHARGED WITH ACTS OF LASCIVIOUSNESS A SECOND TIME. Feel her up once, shame on you. Feel her up again…dude, maybe it's time to get rid of the porn 'stache.

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Hayden Kho and Katrina Halili: Holier than douse? Video grabs from gmanews.tv

1.   RETIRED POLICEMAN ABNER AFUANG POURS WATER ON HAYDEN KHO, JR. DURING SENATE HEARING ON SEX VIDEO SCANDAL. Hey, Mr. Self-Appointed Crusader for Filipinas: Maybe the dousing would have helped before Hayden had sex.

2. HAYDEN SAYS HE AND KATRINA USED DRUGS DURING SEX. Then again, in fairness to Hayden's sex videos, most local entertainment seems like the product of drug ingestion.

3. PRESIDENT ARROYO LOSES COOL AFTER FAILING TO FIND TRASH BINS AT A PUBLIC SCHOOL DURING A FLU AWARENESS CAMPAIGN. The lack of accessible garbage cans also explains why we can't get rid of our politicians.

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(L-R) Brillante Mendoza, Mercedes Cabral, Coco Martin and Maria Isabel Lopez at the Cannes premiere of Kinatay for which Mendoza won Best Director. Photo, pep.ph

4. BRILLANTE MENDOZA WINS BEST DIRECTOR AT CANNES FOR KINATAY; LEAD ACTOR COCO MARTIN SAYS IT'S NO BIG DEAL THAT THE DIRECTOR DIDN'T GET A HERO'S WELCOME. Actually it should be a relief–can you imagine what the confetti for a movie called Kinatay would be like?

5. CALIFORNIA SUPREME COURT BACKS PROPOSITION 8 VOTER INITIATIVE REVOKING SAME-SEX MARRIAGE LAW. But in the same ruling, the court said that the 18,000 couples who tied the knot while the law was in effect have legal and binding marriages. In Tagalog, "nabakla" ang desisyon nila.

6. NEW YORK TIMES REPORTS THAT AT&T UNFAIRLY SKEWED AMERICAN IDOL VOTING BY GIVING KRIS ALLEN FANS PHONES THAT COULD "POWER-TEXT". After studying the American Idol case, local officials conclude that they will have to return to good ol' bribery and intimidation in 2010.

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Should Baron Geisler get rid of his porn 'stache? Photo from pep.ph

7. BARON GEISLER CHARGED WITH ACTS OF LASCIVIOUSNESS A SECOND TIME. Feel her up once, shame on you. Feel her up again…dude, maybe it's time to get rid of the porn 'stache.

Adam Lambert sings with Queen. Photo from americanidol.com
Adam Lambert sings with Queen at the American Idol finals. Photo from americanidol.com

8. IDOL RUNNER-UP CLAY AIKEN CALLS ADAM LAMBERT FINALE PERFORMANCE WITH QUEEN "AWFUL" AND "FRIGHTENING". What is it about coming out that turns nice boys into mean queens?

9. THE VATICAN GETS INTO FACEBOOK. Now pressing questions can be answered, such as: What '90s band would Pope Benedict be? and whether he can sell his harvest of corn, tomatoes, and potatoes in Barn Buddy.

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10. PARIS HILTON THROWN OUT OF ELTON JOHN'S YACHT FOR CANOODLING IN BATHROOM WITH BOYFRIEND DOUG REINHARDT. How sexually deviant do you have to be to get thrown off the yacht of a man who used to perform in Liberace-inspired outfits?

To read previous Hit Leasts, click here.

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