Nueva Ecija gays stage boxing match + more lowlights
Andrew Paredes' juicy commentary on the hit headlines.
1. LACSON FLEES COUNTRY, SAYS HE IS AFRAID OF HARASSMENT OVER DACER-CORBITO SLAY. All we need is a loony surrogate mother for Ping, and it'll be a case of Jason Ivler déjÃ vu.
2. NOYNOY AND VILLAR NOW NECK AND NECK ACCORDING TO NEW PULSE ASIA SURVEY. Meanwhile, the Philippines is also neck and neck with those bus drivers who honk their horns in going straight to hell.
3. JACKSON KIDS STEAL GRAMMY AWARDS. After her touching impromptu speech at MJ's memorial, Paris must be kicking herself that this was all she could manage in front of Beyonce.
4. STARS CONVENE TO RECORD NEW VERSION OF "WE ARE THE WORLD" TO BENEFIT HAITI. It may be 25 years later, but it's only a hop, skip and a jump from Cyndi Lauper to Celine Dion.
5. TEN AMERICANS CHARGED WITH KIDNAPPING 30 HAITIAN CHILDREN, INSIST THEY ONLY WANTED TO HELP. You know what the road to hell is paved with, right? Clueless American missionaries.
6. STEVEN SEAGAL VISITS MANNY PACQUIAO IN LOS ANGELES, WANTS TO DO A MOVIE WITH HIM. Manny has had two box office flops. Wanna bet it'll be three for three?
7. FACEBOOK CELEBRATES SIXTH ANNIVERSARY. I just wanted to check on my crops in Farmville…and before I knew it, six years had gone by!
8. DISCHARGED JUDGE WHO CLAIMS TO TALK TO DWARVES WANTS TO BE CONSIDERED FOR CHIEF JUSTICE POST. Medical experts were about to declare Judge Florentino Floro insane until it was revealed that he chats with Gloria everyday.
9. PORN STAR WHO HAD ALLEGED AFFAIR WITH TIGER WOODS DISTURBED THAT COMPANY HAS PUT HER FACE ON GOLF BALLS. Hey, Eronica! You didn't have a problem when your face was on Tiger's balls.
10. NUEVA ECIJA GAYS STAGE BOXING MATCHES FOR CABANATUAN ANNIVERSARY. This is infinitely more fun to watch than a Noynoy-Villar showdown.
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