500 students perform Sexbomb voters' education song + more lowlights

Andrew Paredes' juicy commentary on the hit headlines.

1. TIGER WOODS BREAKS SILENCE AND ISSUES LIVE STATEMENT ON SCANDAL, BUT ALLOWS NO QUESTIONS. Everything about Tiger Woods is controlled except his sex drive.
For the latest Philippine news stories and videos, visit GMANews.TV 2. TRILLANES CAN NOW POST BAIL FOR 2007 MANILA PEN SIEGE. In a just world, six senators would go into jail for every senator leaving it.
For the latest Philippine news stories and videos, visit GMANews.TV 3. ASH WEDNESDAY OBSERVED. For Catholics, it's the start of Lent. For non-Catholics, it's the day Catholics creep them out.
For the latest Philippine news stories and videos, visit GMANews.TV 4. BUTCHERED WHALE SHARK FOUND ON BATANGAS SHORE. If it's true that the whale shark got its fins cut off because it got tangled in a fishing net, I think it's only fair that those fishermen deserve to have their arms and legs amputated.
For the latest Philippine news stories and videos, visit GMANews.TV 5. RICHARD GOMEZ DISQUALIFIED FROM RUNNING FOR CONGRESSIONAL POST IN LEYTE. Perhaps Goma should take the hint and go back to Family Feud.

For the latest Philippine news stories and videos, visit GMANews.TV 6. CHURCH BERATES DEPARTMENT OF HEALTH FOR DISTRIBUTING CONDOMS ON VALENTINE'S DAY. Because all those couples trooping to motels on February 14 will just be holding hands.
7. DIRECTOR KEVIN SMITH EJECTED FROM SOUTHWEST AIRLINES FLIGHT FOR BEING "TOO FAT TO FLY." When you're too heavy for a plane, it's time to go on a diet.
8. DESIGNER ALEXANDER McQUEEN COMMITS SUICIDE. I guess you can't design stuff for Lady Gaga without going batty.
9. OLIVIA NEWTON JOHN'S "PHYSICAL" CHOSEN AS BILLBOARD MAGAZINE'S SEXIEST SONG. Yep. There's nothing sexier than getting rejected by gay gym bunnies.
For the latest Philippine news stories and videos, visit GMANews.TV 10. 500 STUDENTS PERFORM SEXBOMB DANCERS' ELECTION EDUCATION JINGLE. Isn't Michael Jackson's "They Don't Really Care About Us" a more resonant theme song for the elections?

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